Browsing Archive: January, 2017

The gift of procrastination

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 17, 2017, In : Humor 
Procrastination gives you something to look forward to.
-- Joan Konner

Website 4 the day:
Chainsaw art:
http://www.wickedreport.com/awesome-wooden-art

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An expert

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 17, 2017, In : Humor 
An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field.
-- Niels Bohr

Website 4 the day:
Improve your productivity
http://www.inc.com/jeff-haden/first-90-days-90-ways-to-boost-your-productivity.html

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Two kinds of people

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 17, 2017, In : Humor 
There are two kinds of people. You're not one of them.
-- Bruce Erik Kaplan

Website 4 the day:
Distorted button effects:
http://tympanus.net/Development/DistortedButtonEffects

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Few facts

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 17, 2017, In : Philosophy 
Where facts are few, experts are many.
-- Donald R. Gannon

Website 4 the day:
Sound illusions:
http://listverse.com/2008/02/29/top-10-incredible-sound-illusions

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The impossible dream

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 17, 2017, In : Philosophy 
To achieve the impossible dream, try going to sleep.
-- Joan Klempner

Website 4 the day:
Special Theory of Relativity explained:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CYv5GsXEf1o

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The book-writing profession

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 17, 2017, In : Humor 
The profession of book-writing makes horse racing seem like a solid, stable business.
-- John Steinbeck

Website 4 the day:
Bash by examples:
http://www.linuxintro.org/wiki/BaBE

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Similar sheep

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 17, 2017, In : Humor 
By shear coincidence, all these sheep look the same.

Website 4 the day:
Maze algorithms
http://www.jamisbuck.org/mazes

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A national pastime

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 17, 2017, In : Humor 
Not reading poetry amounts to a national pastime in America.
Phyllis McGinley

Website 4 the day:
Private web searching:
http://startpage.com/do/mypage.pl

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Not getting what we pay for

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 17, 2017, In : Humor 
Thank heavens we don't get all the government we pay for.
-- Will Rogers

Website 4 the day:
The purpose of life is to live forever:
https://arxiv.org/pdf/1506.05869v2.pdf

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Quit looking for work

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 17, 2017, In : Humor 
A lot of people quit looking for work as soon as they get a job.
-- Zig Ziglar

Website 4 the day:
Build a Van de Graaff generator:
http://rimstar.org/equip/build_make_van_de_graaff.htm

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Consider jogging

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 17, 2017, In : Humor 
I'll consider jogging if I ever see a jogger smiling.
-- Joan Rivers

Website 4 the day:
Regular expressions cheat sheet:
http://www.cheatography.com/davechild/cheat-sheets/regular-expressions

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There was no Ritalin

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 17, 2017, In : Humor 
When I was in school, there was no Ritalin for attention deficit disorder, just a big nun with a ruler.
-- Maureen Dowd

Website 4 the day:
free resume templates:
http://blog.spoongraphics.co.uk/articles/20-free-editable-cvresume-templates-for-ps-ai

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Optimistic devil

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 17, 2017, In : Humor 
The devil is an optimist if he thinks he can make people worse than they are.
-- Karl Kraus

Website 4 the day:
Earth alerts:
http://earthalerts.manyjourneys.com/web

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Can't be an athlete

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 17, 2017, In : Humor 
If you can't be an athlete, be an athletic supporter.

Website 4 the day:
Live action Futurama:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f-1RMKdWz8M

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Never seen headline

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 17, 2017, In : Humor 
Here's a headline you never see: “Psychic Wins Lottery.”
-- Dennis Miller

Website 4 the day:
Graph book occurrences over time:
https://books.google.com/ngrams/

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Computers and tattoos

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 17, 2017, In : Humor 
Computers are everywhere. Now tattoo parlors have to spell check.
-- Jay Leno

Website 4 the day:
US immigration history:
metrocosm.com/us-immigration-history-map.html

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Ex-heavy gambler

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 17, 2017, In : Humor 
I used to be a heavy gambler, now I just make mental bets. That's how I lost my mind.
-- Steve Allen

Website 4 the day:
Make a musical instrument:
http://www.cigarboxnation.com/page/free-plans

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Staying longer

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 17, 2017, In : Humor 
Some people can stay longer in an hour than others can in a week.
-- William Dean Howells

Website 4 the day:
Learn Java programming:
https://www.simplilearn.com/resources-to-learn-java-programming-article

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New York City for my health

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 17, 2017, In : Humor 
I moved to New York City for my health. I'm paranoid and it was the only placed where my fears where justified.
-- Anita Weiss

Website 4 the day:
Facebook site for messages only:
https://www.messenger.com/

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Americans like travel

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 17, 2017, In : Humor 
Americans have always liked travel, that being how we got here in the first place.
-- Otto Friedrich

Website 4 the day:
Periodic table of fictional elements:
https://www.buymetalonline.co.uk/images/fictional_minerals.jpg

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An archaeologist's life

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 17, 2017, In : Humor 
A friend is an archaeologist. His life is in ruins.

Website 4 the day:
Bioengineered pet spoof:
http://www.genpets.com/

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Horse sense

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 17, 2017, In : Humor 
Horse sense is what keeps horses from betting on people.
W. C. Fields

Website 4 the day:
Delete Amazon Echo and Google Home recordings:
http://bgr.com/2016/12/30/how-to-delete-amazon-echo/

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Soft head correlation

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 17, 2017, In : Humor 
The softer a man's head, the louder his socks.
-- Helen Rowland

Website 4 the day:
Paper V8:
http://www.popularmechanics.com/cars/a24561/make-your-own-tiny-paper-v8-engine-with-these-plans/

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Hot music

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 17, 2017, In : Humor 
The hot music now is a combination of country and rap. It's call crap.
-- Bud E. Luv

Website 4 the day:
Free first aid training:
http://www.firstaidforfree.com/

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Middle age

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 17, 2017, In : Philosophy 
Middle age is when a narrow waist and a broad mind begin to change places.
-- Glenn Dorenbush

Website 4 the day:
Old-style CRT at 100 FPS:
http://digg.com/video/crt-tv-screens-refresh

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Sweet revenge

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 17, 2017, In : Humor 
Revenge is sweet and not fattening.
-- Alfred Hitchcock

Website 4 the day:
Reheat pasta for health:
http://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-29629761

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Speaking Esperanto

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 17, 2017, In : Humor 
I speak Esperanto like a native.
-- Spike Milligan

Website 4 the day:
Unlock your mind:
http://thegeniusdeck.com/

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Lock picking advantage

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 17, 2017, In : Humor 
Knowing how to pick locks has really opened a lot of doors for me.

Website 4 the day:
You can't see this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0NPH_udOOek

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An original thought

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 17, 2017, In : Philosophy 
One original thought is worth a thousand mindless quotings.
-- Diogenes

Website 4 the day:
Burn SD cards and USB drives:
https://etcher.io/

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Blasphemy

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 17, 2017, In : Philosophy 
Blasphemy is a victimless crime.
-- Salman Rushdie

Website 4 the day:
Perl beginners:
http://perl-begin.org/

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Hell on earth

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 17, 2017, In : Philosophy 
Maybe this world is another planet's hell.
-- Aldous Huxley

Website 4 the day:
Euclid's Elements:
http://aleph0.clarku.edu/~djoyce/java/elements/

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Nutrition and potato chips

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 17, 2017, In : Humor 
Chips have little nutritional value. That’s why you need to eat the whole bag.
-- Bill Murray

Website 4 the day:
OpenBSD release songs:
http://www.openbsd.org/lyrics.html

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Are we alone?

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 17, 2017, In : Philosophy 
Sometimes I think we’re alone in the universe, and sometimes I think we’re not. In either case, the idea is quite staggering.
-- Arthur C. Clarke

Website 4 the day:
Netflix roulette:
http://netflixroulette.net/

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Why forgive

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 17, 2017, In : Philosophy 
Forgive others, not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace.
-- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Website 4 the day:
Speed read the web:
http://squirt.io/

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Photo of a wheat field

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 17, 2017, In : Humor 
I took a photo of a wheat field. It came out grainy.

Website 4 the day:
Review charities:
http://www.charitynavigator.org/

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In pursuit of the chosen path

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 17, 2017, In : Philosophy 
Many are stubborn in pursuit of the path they have chosen, few in pursuit of the goal.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche

Website 4 the day:
Internet alerts:
https://www.talkwalker.com/alerts

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Drowning in water

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 17, 2017, In : Philosophy 
You don’t drown by falling in the water. You drown by staying there.
-- Edwin Louis Cole

Website 4 the day:
Ebook library:
http://bookzz.org/

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Struggle with insecurity

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 17, 2017, In : Philosophy 
The reason why we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind the scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.
-- Stephen Furtick

Website 4 the day:
Trump video archive:
http://archive.org/details/trumparchive

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Don't understand math

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 17, 2017, In : Philosophy 
In mathematics you don't understand things. You just get used to them.
-- Johann von Neumann

Website 4 the day:
Salary negotiations:
http://www.payscale.com/salary-negotiation-guide/salary-negotiation-scripts

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Explain it simply

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 17, 2017, In : Philosophy 
If you can’t explain it simply, you don’t understand it well enough.
-- Albert Einstein

Website 4 the day:
Search for people:
http://www.familytreenow.com/

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Do not listen to understand

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 17, 2017, In : Philosophy 
Most people do not listen with the intent to understand. Most people listen with the intent to reply.
-- Steven R. Covey

Website 4 the day:
Transparent security:
https://security.googleblog.com/2017/01/security-through-transparency.html

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Sleeping comes naturally

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 17, 2017, In : Humor 
Sleeping comes naturally to me. I can do it with my eyes closed.

Website 4 the day:
Learn magic tricks:
http://www.learnmagictricks.org/

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When I was a boy

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 17, 2017, In : Humor 
When I was a boy, the Dead Sea was only sick.
-- George Burns

Website 4 the day:
New image compression 4x better:
http://thenextweb.com/google/2017/01/12/googles-new-compression-tool-uses-75-less-bandwidth-without-sacrificing-image-quality/

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A madman and me

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 17, 2017, In : Philosophy 
There is only one difference between a madman and me. I am not mad.
-- Salvador Dali

Website 4 the day:
Send a text:
https://www.sendatext.co/

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Every villain a hero

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 17, 2017, In : Philosophy 
Every villain is a hero in his own mind.
-- Tom Hiddleston

Website 4 the day:
Train your brain to lose weight:
http://www.exeter.ac.uk/foodt/

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Cannot build a reputation

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 17, 2017, In : Philosophy 
A man cannot build a reputation on what he is going to do.
-- Henry Ford

Website 4 the day:
Free Harvard digital photography course:
https://alison.com/courses/Digital-Photography

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Respect faith

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 17, 2017, In : Philosophy 
I respect faith, but doubt is what gets you an education.
-- Wilson Mizner

Website 4 the day:
Life in a storage locker:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=HPVCTLPNUzo

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What crabs think

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 17, 2017, In : Humor 
Do crabs think we walk sideways?
-- Bill Murray

Website 4 the day:
How to dispense ketchup:
https://munchies.vice.com/en/articles/this-is-the-best-way-to-get-ketchup-out-of-the-bottle-according-to-science

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An astronomy course

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 17, 2017, In : Humor 
I took an astronomy course, but it was over my head.

Website 4 the day:
Bioengineered pet spoof:
http://www.genpets.com/

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Free in dreams

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, January 5, 2017, In : Philosophy 
Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages.
-- Terry Pratchett

Website 4 the day:
Paper V8:
http://www.popularmechanics.com/cars/a24561/make-your-own-tiny-paper-v8-engine-with-these-plans/

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In front of your nose

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, January 5, 2017, In : Philosophy 
To see what is in front of one’s nose needs a constant struggle.
-- George Orwell

Website 4 the day:
Free first aid training:
http://www.firstaidforfree.com

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Beer and pizza vs. celery

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, January 5, 2017, In : Humor 
They don’t make pizza or beer out of celery. And that is all you need to know about celery.
-- Bill Murray

Website 4 the day:
Old-style CRT at 100 FPS:
http://digg.com/video/crt-tv-screens-refresh

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Live to be one hundred

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, January 5, 2017, In : Humor 
If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age.
-- George Burns

Website 4 the day:
Delete Amazon Echo and Google Home recordings:
http://bgr.com/2016/12/30/how-to-delete-amazon-echo/

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Derivation of politics

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, January 5, 2017, In : Humor 
Politics: “Poli” a Latin word meaning “many”; and "tics" meaning “bloodsucking creatures”.
-- Robin Williams

Website 4 the day:
:uʍop-ǝpısdn ǝdʎʇ
http://www.sevenwires.com/play/UpsideDownLetters.html

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Fun exercise

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, January 5, 2017, In : Humor 
Wouldn’t exercise be more fun if calories screamed while you burned them?
-- Bill Murray

Website 4 the day:
Code in colored blocks:
http://www.dangermouse.net/esoteric/piet.html

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Janitor's union

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, January 5, 2017, In : Humor 
The janitor's union called for sweeping reforms.

Website 4 the day:
Live action Futurama:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f-1RMKdWz8M

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Four pieces of pie

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, January 5, 2017, In : Humor 
Cut my pie into four pieces, I do not think I could eat eight.
-- Yogi Berra

Website 4 the day:
Periodic table of fictional elements:
https://www.buymetalonline.co.uk/images/fictional_minerals.jpg

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Following my dreams

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, January 5, 2017, In : Humor 
I’m sick of following my dreams. I’m just going to ask them where they’re going and hook up with them later.
-- Mitch Hedberg

Website 4 the day:
Facebook site for messages only:
https://www.messenger.com/

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Everything coming your way

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, January 5, 2017, In : Humor 
When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
-- Steven Wright

Website 4 the day:
Learn Java programming:
https://www.simplilearn.com/resources-to-learn-java-programming-article

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In case of snake

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, January 5, 2017, In : Humor 
I always keep some whiskey handy in case I see a snake…which I also keep handy.
-- W. C. Fields

Website 4 the day:
Make a musical instrument:
http://www.cigarboxnation.com/page/free-plans

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Judge a man

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, January 5, 2017, In : Philosophy 
Judge a man by his questions, rather than his answers.
-- Voltaire

Website 4 the day:
Book phrase occurrences over time:
https://books.google.com/ngrams

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One drink drunk

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, January 5, 2017, In : Humor 
It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
-- George Burns

Website 4 the day:
Reheat pasta for health:
http://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-29629761

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My candy cane collection

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, January 5, 2017, In : Humor 
Want to see my candy cane collection? They are all in mint condition.

Website 4 the day:
Free Harvard University courses:
http://online-learning.harvard.edu/courses?sort_by=date_added&cost%5B%5D=free

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Washington DC and Wisconsin

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 3, 2017, In : Humor 
Washington, DC, is to lying what Wisconsin is to cheese.
-- Dennis Miller

Website 4 the day:
FreeOffice Microsoft Office alternative:
http://www.freeoffice.com/en/download

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Off the freeway

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 3, 2017, In : Humor 
Coming off the freeway, I saw a guy with a sign that said, "If you were homeless, you'd be home now."
-- John Mendoza

Website 4 the day:
Vulnerability testing:
http://www.tenable.com/products/nessus/select-your-operating-system

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Portrait vs. Painting

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 3, 2017, In : Humor 
A portrait is a painting in which there is something wrong with the mouth.
-- Eugene Speicher

Website 4 the day:
POV tying a tie:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hPjKfAFoXEU

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Dog economy

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 3, 2017, In : Humor 
My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to $1.66 a can. That's almost $12 in dog money.
-- Joe Weinstein

Website 4 the day:
Find my phone:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NpN9NzO4Mo8

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Being a star

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 3, 2017, In : Philosophy 
Being a star is not a profession, it is an accident.
-- Lauren Bacall

Website 4 the day:
Synchronize files across machines:
http://www.cis.upenn.edu/~bcpierce/unison/

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No secrets

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 3, 2017, In : Humor 
I don't have any secrets. I just forget a lot of stuff.
-- Brian Andreas

Website 4 the day:
Popular baby names since 1910:
http://digg.com/2016/most-popular-baby-names-noah-emma

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Hindsight

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 3, 2017, In : Humor 
With hindsight, I wouldn't have sat on that thumbtack.

Website 4 the day:
Wrap packages in cloth:
http://furoshiki.com/techniques/

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Cure seasickness

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 3, 2017, In : Humor 
To cure seasickness, sit under a tree.
-- Spike Milligan

Website 4 the day:
CIA's maps:
https://www.flickr.com/photos/ciagov/

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Eat anything

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 3, 2017, In : Humor 
People will eat anything if it is cut into small enough pieces.
-- Leonard Powell

Website 4 the day:
Who has your data:
http://www.stopdatamining.me/

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The first thing

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 3, 2017, In : Humor 
The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.
-- Oscar Levant

Website 4 the day:
Dead or alive?
http://deadoraliveinfo.com/

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A good listener

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 3, 2017,
A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while knows something.
-- Wilson Mizner

Website 4 the day:
Tour 49,603 historiic places:
http://www.math.uwaterloo.ca/tsp/us/tour.html

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Conscience visits

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 3, 2017, In : Humor 
Conscience is a mother-in-law whose visit never ends.
-- H. L. Mencken

Website 4 the day:
Forward e-mail via SMS:
https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/send-your-email-to-sms-te/ipghnlmkjdejhibmialipjeaoobhaofe

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My name until 13

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 3, 2017, In : Humor 
Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was Shaddup.
-- Daniel Tosh

Website 4 the day:
Stop procrastinating:
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLCZOcsNyk-g7itGkhU7SYkzgp6n7poZCH

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4 bowls of soup

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 3, 2017, In : Humor 
I ate 4 bowls of delicious alphabet soup. After that I had a massive vowel movement.

Website 4 the day:
Coin stacking
http://boingboing.net/2016/12/08/watch-some-fantastic-coin-stac.html

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