Showing category "Humor" (Show all posts)

Sunken ship on the ocean floor

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, October 12, 2019, In : Humor 
Divers found a sunken ship on the ocean floor that kept twitching. It was a nervous wreck.

Website 4 the day:
Copy/paste emojis, characters, etc.:
https://copychar.cc

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Men and women

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, October 12, 2019, In : Humor 
Here’s all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. 
-- George Carlin

Website 4 the day:
Make an infographic map in seconds: 
http://mapinseconds.com/

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A politician's career

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, October 12, 2019, In : Humor 
The politician had a very promising career.

Website 4 the day:
Learn a language:
https://lingvist.com/  

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Elaborate chess

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, October 12, 2019, In : Humor 
Chess is as elaborate a waste of human intelligence as you can find outside an advertising agency.
 -- Raymond Chandler

Website 4 the day:
Where to watch online movies: 
https://www.chilimovie.com 

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Go to high school

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, October 12, 2019, In : Humor 
You shouldn't have to go to high school until you are at least forty, you've had a lot of therapy, and you're ready for it.
-- Marilyn Kentz

Website 4 the day:
How compilers see your code:
https://godbolt.org/

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What I need

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, October 12, 2019, In : Humor 
Why don’t they give us things we can actually use? I don’t need a thinner phone. You know what I need? I need to tortilla chip that can support the weight of guacamole.
-- Ellen DeGeneres

Website 4 the day:
Retaliation at Google: 
https://www.documentcloud.org/documents/6427199-Examples-Retaliation-at-Google.html

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Deep topic

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, October 12, 2019, In : Humor 
I fell into the deep hole from which I fetch water and was stuck there all day. My time was well spent.

Website 4 the day:
Metropolis in color: 
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=t75YCtJJFX0&feature=youtu.be

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Straight in the eye

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, October 12, 2019, In : Humor 
I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it.
-- Garrison Keillor

Website 4 the day:
Stitch images into a composite: 
https://www.microsoft.com/en-us/research/product/computational-photography-applications/image-composite-editor/

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Phones

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, October 12, 2019, In : Humor 
Utility is when you have one telephone, luxury is when you have two, opulence is when you have three – and paradise is when you have none.
-- Doug Larson

Website 4 the day:
Free fall icons and graphics:
https://www.shutterstock.com/blog/free-fall-icons-and-graphics  

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The only crime

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, October 12, 2019, In : Humor 
Bigamy is the only crime where two rites make a wrong.
-- Bob Hope

Website 4 the day:
Programming idioms:
https://www.programming-idioms.org/about#about-block-all-idioms

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Coming in late

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, October 12, 2019, In : Humor 
I asked my boss if I could sleep in tomorrow and come in late. He said "Dream on."

Website 4 the day:
Robot voice generator: 
https://lingojam.com/RobotVoiceGenerator

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A genuine medical need

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, October 12, 2019, In : Humor 
It is inhumane in my opinion, to force people who have a genuine medical need for coffee to wait in line behind people who apparently view it as some kind of recreational activity.
-- Dave Barry

Website 4 the day:
Real-time internet stats: 
https://www.webfx.com/internet-real-time/

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Wooden dream

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, September 29, 2019, In : Humor 
I dreamt that I was a piece of lumber. It wasn't interesting though, I was board.

Website 4 the day:
Celebrities record what you ask for money:   
https://www.cameo.com/

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A gentleman

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, September 29, 2019, In : Humor 
A gentleman is one who never hurts anyone’s feelings unintentionally.
-- Oscar Wilde

Website 4 the day:
Who tweeted it first?
http://ctrlq.org/first/

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Remember anything

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, September 29, 2019, In : Humor 
When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
-- Mark Twain

Website 4 the day:
Free wallpaper: 
https://interfacelift.com/wallpaper/downloads/date/any/

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Birthday candles

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, September 29, 2019, In : Humor 
When I blew out the candles on my birthday cake they were happy. In fact, they were delighted

Website 4 the day:
Guess your age:
https://www.how-old.net/

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Don't succeed at first

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, September 29, 2019, In : Humor 
If at first you don’t succeed you’re running about average.
-- M. H. Alderson

Website 4 the day:
Play musical scales:
https://femurdesign.com/omni/

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Keep giving

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, September 29, 2019, In : Humor 
Guilt the gift that keeps on giving.  
-- Erma Bombeck

Website 4 the day:
Space news: 
https://www.space.com

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Toilet paper

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, September 14, 2019, In : Humor 
Toilet paper plays an important roll in my life.

Website 4 the day:
How to spell a word: 
http://tellspell.com/

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Advice

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, September 14, 2019, In : Humor 
When we ask for advice, we are usually looking for an accomplice.
-- Saul Bellow

Website 4 the day:
How to Create a Short Song in LMMS:
https://www.maketecheasier.com/create-short-song-in-lmms/

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A bank job

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, September 14, 2019, In : Humor 
I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

Website 4 the day:
What the earth looked like in the past: 
http://dinosaurpictures.org/ancient-earth#0

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Honest criticism

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, September 14, 2019, In : Humor 
Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger.
-- Franklin P. Jones

Website 4 the day:
Terrifying declassified government documents: 
https://www.buzzfeed.com/sydrobinson1/declassified-government-documents-terrifying ?yola-link-is-coming=true

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Nature's way

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, September 14, 2019, In : Humor 
Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business.
- Dave Barry

Website 4 the day:
The paper clip: 
https://slate.com/human-interest/2012/05/the-history-of-the-paper-clip-it-was-invented-in-1899-it-hasnt-been-improved-upon-since.html

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Patience admiration

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, September 14, 2019, In : Humor 
Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in the one ahead.
-- Bill McGlashen

Website 4 the day:
Slide rule scales: 
https://www.sliderulemuseum.com/SR_Scales.htm ?yola-link-is-coming=true

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Love your neighbors

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, September 14, 2019, In : Humor 
The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because generally they are the same people.
-- G. K. Chesterton

Website 4 the day:
Enable Windows ransomware protection: 
https://www.maketecheasier.com/enable-ransomware-protection-windows-defender/

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Hunting for food

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, September 14, 2019, In : Humor 
I’m glad I don’t have to hunt for my food, I don’t even know where Sandwiches live.
-- Bill Murray

Website 4 the day:
Quote tracing:
https://quoteinvestigator.com

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Half a bagel

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, September 12, 2019, In : Humor 
Half a bagel is better than nothing.
Nothing is better than heaven.
Therefore half a bagel is better than heaven.

Website 4 the day:
AI creativity:
https://arxiv.org/pdf/1803.03453.pdf

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Blessed are the cracked

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, September 12, 2019, In : Humor 
Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.
-- Groucho Marx

Website 4 the day:
Hacker powered security:
https://www.hackerone.com/sites/default/files/2019-08/hacker-powered-security-report-2019.pdf

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Life's trouble

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, September 12, 2019, In : Humor 
You know the trouble with real life? There’s no danger music.
-- Jim Carrey

Website 4 the day:
Webpage load time: 
https://tools.pingdom.com

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Phobia literature

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, August 30, 2019, In : Humor 
I was going to buy a book on phobias, but I was afraid it wouldn't help me.

Website 4 the day:
Print your own customized gift wrap:
https://wripwrapwrop.com/en/

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Sleep like a baby

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, August 30, 2019, In : Humor 
People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one.
-- Leo J. Burke

Website 4 the day:
What is a day?
https://labs.minutelabs.io/what-is-a-day/#/welcome

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Doctor's joke

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, August 30, 2019, In : Humor 
Recently, my doctor made a joke about my back. It was about a weak back.

Website 4 the day:
Endangered sounds:
http://savethesounds.info/

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The only profession

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, August 30, 2019, In : Humor 
Writing is the only profession where no one considers you ridiculous if you earn no money.
-- Jules Renard

Website 4 the day:
International gun laws:
https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2018/03/02/world/international-gun-laws.html

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Bringing up children

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, August 30, 2019, In : Humor 
Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories.
-- John Wilmot

Website 4 the day:
Free DNS servers:
https://www.maketecheasier.com/best-dynamic-dns-providers/

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Best time to buy

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, August 22, 2019, In : Humor 
A study of economics usually reveals that the best time to buy anything is last year.
-- Marty Allen

Website 4 the day:
Under-ten-cent processors:
https://cpldcpu.wordpress.com/2019/08/12/the-terrible-3-cent-mcu/

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A rainy day

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, August 22, 2019, In : Humor 
The shortest recorded period of time lies between the minute you put some money away for a rainy day and the unexpected arrival of rain.
-- Jane Bryant Quinn

Website 4 the day:
Learn Java by doing:
https://codegym.cc/

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Long-distance

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, August 22, 2019, In : Humor 
I'm in a long-distance relationship. Darn restraining order!

Website 4 the day:
The oldest plant:
https://www.wellandgood.com/good-food/spirulina-sleep/

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An hourglass figure

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, August 15, 2019, In : Humor 
What do you call a girl with an hourglass figure? A waist of time.

Website 4 the day:
Animal/food mash-ups:
https://mymodernmet.com/photo-manipulation-animals-ronald-ong/

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Win or lose

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, August 15, 2019, In : Humor 
It does not matter whether you win or lose, what matters is whether I win or lose!
-- Steven Weinberg

Website 4 the day:
High voltage / high current art:
http://capturedlightning.com/

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Verbal contracts

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, August 15, 2019, In : Humor 
A verbal contract isn’t worth the paper it’s written on.
-- Samuel Goldwyn

Website 4 the day:
Read webpages out loud:
https://talkify.net/

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Inflation

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, August 15, 2019, In : Humor 

Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair.
-- Sam Ewing

Website 4 the day:
What is new on Netflix?
https://usa.newonnetflix.info/

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Marriage

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, August 15, 2019, In : Humor 
We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations – we’re doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.
-- Rodney Dangerfield

Website 4 the day:
Turkey's underground city of 20,000:
https://www.historicmysteries.com/derinkuyu-underground-city-cappadocia/

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Lost in thought

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, August 15, 2019, In : Humor 
The only reason some people get lost in thought is because it’s unfamiliar territory.
-- Paul Fix

Website 4 the day:
Free professionally edited books:
https://standardebooks.org/

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Going bald

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, August 15, 2019, In : Humor 
I knew I was going bald because it was taking longer and longer to wash my face.
-- Harry Hill

Website 4 the day:
Sleep deprivation across the US:
https://www.cdc.gov/sleep/data_statistics.html

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Most likely ...

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, August 9, 2019, In : Humor 
Robert E. Lee's high school yearbook lists him as "Most likely to secede."

Website 4 the day:
Gerrymandered font:
https://techcrunch.com/2019/08/01/this-free-ugly-font-is-made-from-hideously-gerrymandered-districts/

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Jogging adds years

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, August 9, 2019, In : Humor 
My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already.
-- Milton Berle

Website 4 the day:
Random design challenges:
http://protobot.org/#en

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Desire dumber

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, August 9, 2019, In : Humor 
I wish I were dumber so I could be more certain about my opinions. It looks fun.
-- Scott Adams

Website 4 the day:
Vegan recipes:
https://www.thevegancaveman.com/

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No yes-men

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, August 9, 2019, In : Humor 
I don’t want any yes-men around me. I want everybody to tell me the truth even if it costs them their job.
-- Samuel Goldwyn

Website 4 the day:
Practical lock picking:
http://rageuniversity.org/PRISONESCAPE/PRISON%20LOCKS%20AND%20KEYS/Practical.Lock.Picking.pdf

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Sleep-smoking

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, August 2, 2019, In : Humor 
I accidentally fell asleep smoking an e-cigarette and when I woke up my whole house was on the internet.

Website 4 the day:
Cats are liquid:
https://www.boredpanda.com/cats-are-liquids/

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Money vs. happiness

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, August 2, 2019, In : Humor 
Money won’t buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem.
-- Bill Vaughan

Website 4 the day:
Solving a humongous Rubik's cube:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xOJtLb_rPVg

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French food

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, August 2, 2019, In : Humor 
Never doubt the courage of the French. They were the ones who discovered that snails are edible.
-- Doug Larson

Website 4 the day:
3D printed lock pick gun:
https://hackaday.com/2019/07/17/3d-printed-snap-gun-for-automatic-lock-picking/

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Money's worth

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, August 2, 2019, In : Humor 
Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.
-- Jackie Mason

Website 4 the day:
Free JavaScript books:
https://www.reddit.com/r/learnprogramming/comments/cf50qu/you_dont_know_javascript_but_you_could_for_free/

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Volume of news

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, August 2, 2019, In : Humor 
It’s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.
-- Jerry Seinfield

Website 4 the day:
Dress for space:
https://www.washingtonpost.com/graphics/2019/business/immersive-space-suits-history-fashion-and-function/?utm_term=.cbade8bdb56c

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Work out almost daily

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, July 25, 2019, In : Humor 
I work out almost every day. Friday I almost worked out, Saturday I almost worked out, Sunday I almost worked out...

Website 4 the day:
Apollo 11 in real time:
https://apolloinrealtime.org/11/

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Family debates

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, July 25, 2019, In : Humor 
I’ve come to learn that the best time to debate family members is when they have food in their mouths.
-- Kenneth Cole

Website 4 the day:
Python machine learning:
https://www.reddit.com/r/learnprogramming/comments/cfxxcd/machine_learning_get_started_with_python

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Everything predetermined

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, July 25, 2019, In : Humor 
I have noticed that even people who claim everything is pre­determined and that we can do nothing to change it look before they cross the road.
-- Stephen Hawking

Website 4 the day:
Lightworks video editor:
https://www.lwks.com/

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The 3 R's

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, July 25, 2019, In : Humor 
You know there’s a problem when you realize that out of the three Rs, only one begins with an R.
-- Dennis Miller

Website 4 the day:
CD/DVD burner:
http://infrarecorder.org/

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An intellectual

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, July 25, 2019, In : Humor 
My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger.
-- Billy Connolly

Website 4 the day:
Algorithm tutorial:
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLn2ipk-jqgZiAHiA70hOxAj8RMUeqYNK

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Lion vs. calf

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, July 25, 2019, In : Humor 
The lion shall lie down with the calf, but the calf won’t get much sleep
-- Woody Allen

Website 4 the day:
Buy electronics from makers:
https://www.tindie.com/

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Get better soon

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, July 22, 2019, In : Humor 
Got my boss a "get better soon" card. She's not sick, I just think she could get better.

Website 4 the day:
Free movies on YouTube:
http://zerodollarmovies.com/catalog/english

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Why no visitors?

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, July 10, 2019, In : Humor 
Why don't aliens visit our planet? Terrible ratings. One star.

Website 4 the day:
Give homeless money by phone:
https://news.vice.com/en_us/article/wjvavy/this-app-lets-you-give-money-to-homeless-people-from-your-phone

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Diet's 2nd day

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, July 10, 2019, In : Humor 
The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day, you’re off it.
-- Jackie Gleason

Website 4 the day:
Send 5 GBytes for free:
https://transfer.pcloud.com/

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Who are the users?

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, July 10, 2019, In : Humor 
User: the word computer professionals use when they mean “idiot.”
-- Dave Barry

Website 4 the day:
Live filesharing and chat:
https://volafile.org/

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What holds ships together

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, July 10, 2019, In : Humor 
I saw a documentary on how ships are kept together; It was riveting.
-- Stewart Francis

Website 4 the day:
Free images for transfer:
https://thegraphicsfairy.com/

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When I was younger

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, July 10, 2019, In : Humor 
One time, a guy handed me a picture and said, “Here’s a picture of me when I was younger.” Every picture of you is when you were younger.
-- Mitch Hedberg

Website 4 the day:
Draw a stickman:
http://www.drawastickman.com/

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Never boils

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, July 10, 2019, In : Humor 
A watched pot never boils, but it does get paranoid.
-- Lesley Wake

Website 4 the day:
Track when an image is seen:
https://grabify.link/

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An origami store

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, July 7, 2019, In : Humor 
I had a business plan for an origami store, but It folded.

Website 4 the day:
Compare airfares:
https://www.airfarewatchdog.com/

Continue reading ...
 

Confidence

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, July 7, 2019, In : Humor 
Confidence is 10% work and 90% delusion.
-- Tina Fey

Website 4 the day:
Free local TV:
https://www.locast.org/

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Forgetting history

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, July 7, 2019, In : Humor 
There’s an old saying about those who forget history. I don’t remember it, but it’s good.
-- Stephen Colbert

Website 4 the day:
Fool advertisers with Firefox:
https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/43j8qm/firefox-will-give-you-a-fake-browsing-history-to-fool-advertisers

Continue reading ...
 

Insomnia

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, July 7, 2019, In : Humor 
Insomnia is my greatest inspiration.
-- Jon Stewart

Website 4 the day:
Picture yourself on Mt. Everest:
https://thetopofmounteverest.com/#home

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Daydream

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, July 7, 2019, In : Humor 
I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.
-- Steven Wright

Website 4 the day:
Spell words with chemical symbols:
https://www.chemspeller.com/

Continue reading ...
 

Investment anxiety

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, June 25, 2019, In : Humor 
I used to be mildly fearful of residential property investments. Now I have an apartment complex.

Website 4 the day:
Google slides to animated GIFs:
https://talltweets.com/

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A fine place

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, June 25, 2019, In : Humor 
California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange.
-- Fred Allen

Website 4 the day:
Screenshot a web page:
https://screenshot.guru/

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You might as well

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, June 25, 2019, In : Humor 
The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love.
-- Joe E. Lewis

Website 4 the day:
View PCB layout:
https://openboardview.org/

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40,000 piece puzzle

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, June 25, 2019, In : Humor 
I wanna make a jigsaw puzzle that's 40,000 pieces. And when you finish it, it says "go outside."
-- Demetri Martin

Website 4 the day:
Signal waveform editor:
https://wavedrom.com/

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Kangaroo high jumps

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, June 20, 2019, In : Humor 
I saw a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State building, but was only because the building can't jump.

Website 4 the day:
Free 40 minute web/video conferencing:
https://zoom.us/

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Bilingual hockey players

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, June 20, 2019, In : Humor 
All hockey players are bilingual. They know English and profanity.
-- Gordie Howe

Website 4 the day:
It's OK to ask for more time:
https://www.hbs.edu/faculty/Publication%20Files/19-064_8312949a-87f4-493b-8362-d364382c3db4.pdf

Continue reading ...
 

Outdoor fun and more

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, June 20, 2019, In : Humor 
Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face.
-- Dave Barry

Website 4 the day:
Secure OS:
https://tails.boum.org/

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Didn’t say it.

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, June 20, 2019, In : Humor 
I don’t care what the tape says. I didn’t say it.
-- Ray Malavasi

Website 4 the day:
Anonymous OS:
https://www.whonix.org/

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Just can't win

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, June 20, 2019, In : Humor 
We can't win at home. We can't win on the road. I just can't figure out where else to play!
-- Pat Williams

Website 4 the day:
Bootable USB privacy:
https://tails.boum.org/

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Cricket in heaven

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, June 20, 2019, In : Humor 
Oh God, if there be cricket in heaven, let there also be rain.
-- Alec Douglas Home

Website 4 the day:
A person's looks from their speech:
https://arxiv.org/pdf/1905.09773.pdf

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Hippo vs. Zippo

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, June 12, 2019, In : Humor 
The difference Between a Hippo and a Zippo: one's really heavy, the others a little lighter.

Website 4 the day:
Find out about people:
https://thatsthem.com

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Religious differences

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, June 6, 2019, In : Humor 
My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God, and I didn't.

Website 4 the day:
Get stock by buying stuff:
https://bumped.com/

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The inevitable

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, June 6, 2019, In : Humor 
Change is inevitable – except from a vending machine.
-- Robert C. Gallagher

Website 4 the day:
Retargetable decompiler:
https://retdec.com/

Continue reading ...
 

A landscape gardener

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, June 1, 2019, In : Humor 
I tried to hire a landscape gardener but he turned down the job because my yard was laid out as portrait.

Website 4 the day:
Vintage cat photos:
https://petapixel.com/2019/05/24/vintage-photos-of-cats-doing-human-things/

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Middle age

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, June 1, 2019, In : Humor 
Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.
-- Bob Hope

Website 4 the day:
Where is your birthday in Pi?
http://mypiday.com/

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A bad memory

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, June 1, 2019, In : Humor 
The advantage of a bad memory is that one enjoys several times the same good things for the first time.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche

Website 4 the day:
Free textbooks:
https://openstax.org/

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Hard to put up with

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, June 1, 2019, In : Humor 
Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.
-- Mark Twain

Website 4 the day:
Create an avatar:
https://getavataaars.com/

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Man's worst enemy

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, June 1, 2019, In : Humor 
Alcohol may be , but the bible says love your enemy.
-- Frank Sinatra

Website 4 the day:
Stay for free:
https://lifehacker.com/how-to-stay-for-free-anywhere-in-the-world-1832965711

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Foolishly spent

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, June 1, 2019, In : Humor 
Part of the $10 million I spent on gambling, part on booze and part on women. The rest I spent foolishly.
-- George Raft

Website 4 the day:
Virtualbox tutorial:
https://www.systemcodegeeks.com/virtualization/virtualbox/virtualbox-tutorial-virtualization-essentials/

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Firing based on posture

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, May 23, 2019, In : Humor 
My boss is going to fire the employee with the worst posture. I have a hunch, it might be me.

Website 4 the day:
How Bitcoin works:
https://www.bitcoinsimulator.tk/blockchain?chain=public

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A neck brace

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, May 14, 2019, In : Humor 
I had a neck brace fitted years ago and I've never looked back since.

Website 4 the day:
Zoidberg whoop:
http://www.instantwhoop.com/

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Only one drink

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, May 14, 2019, In : Humor 
It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
-- George Burns

Website 4 the day:
Gruesome Body Bakery:
http://inventorspot.com/articles/body_bread_13546

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The finger

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, May 14, 2019, In : Humor 
I didn’t give you the finger…you earned it.
-- Bill Murray

Website 4 the day:
Eat and grow big:
http://slither.io/

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Memory foam

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, May 14, 2019, In : Humor 
I bought myself a memory foam mattress and now it’s trying to blackmail me.
-- Gary Delaney

Website 4 the day:
World Carrot Museum:
http://www.carrotmuseum.co.uk/

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Being run down by a bike

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, May 4, 2019, In : Humor 
Every day this same bike tries to run me down. This happens repeatedly. It is a vicious cycle.

Website 4 the day:
What to watch?
https://neverthink.tv

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Like a nighttime phone call

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, May 4, 2019, In : Humor 
Marriage is like a phone call in the night: first the ring, and then you wake up.
-- Evelyn Hendrickson

Website 4 the day:
Magnetic fluxlines:
https://www.hbs.edu/faculty/Publication%20Files/19-064_8312949a-87f4-493b-8362-d364382c3db4.pdf

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So much left at the end

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, May 4, 2019, In : Humor 
Why is there so much month left at the end of the money?
-- John Barrymore

Website 4 the day:
The true size of countries:
https://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2019-04/nifn-hbt042319.php

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Free will

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, May 4, 2019, In : Humor 
You must believe in free will; there is no choice.
-- Isaac Bashevis Singer

Website 4 the day:
Unlock Windows files:
https://www.iobit.com/en/iobit-unlocker.php#

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Huge drink order

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, May 4, 2019, In : Humor 
A man walks into a bar and orders 10 times the number of drinks as anyone else there.
The bartender responds "Now that is an order of magnitude."

Website 4 the day:
Cardboard bike:
https://vimeo.com/37584656

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Feeling alone

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, May 4, 2019, In : Humor 
I never feel more alone than when I’m trying to put sunscreen on my back.
-- Jimmy Kimmel

Website 4 the day:
How long to binge watch ... ?
http://tiii.me/

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Start with a smile

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, May 4, 2019, In : Humor 
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
-- W. C. Fields

Website 4 the day:
YouTube's documentary channel:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC_sXrcURB-Dh4az_FveeQ0Q

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Walk the plank

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, April 22, 2019, In : Humor 

My mother used to make me walk the plank when I was younger, we couldn't afford a dog.

Website 4 the day:
Wasting time:
https://iwastesomuchtime.com/

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Billions for schools and roads

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, April 22, 2019, In : Humor 
It would be nice to spend billions on schools and roads, but right now that money is desperately needed for political ads.
-- Andy Borowitz

Website 4 the day:
Find similar musicians:
https://www.music-map.com/ 

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Why two senators?

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, April 22, 2019, In : Humor 
The reason that there are two senators from each state is so that one can be the designated driver.
-- Jay Leno

Website 4 the day:
Things organized neatly:
http://thingsorganizedneatly.tumblr.com/

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The purpose of the brain

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, April 22, 2019, In : Humor 
The human brain is a device to keep the ears from grating on one another.
-- Peter De Vries

Website 4 the day:
Museum of Flight:
http://www.museumofflight.org/Explore-The-Museum/

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My old neighborhood

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, April 22, 2019, In : Humor 
Where I grew up, you could walk ten blocks and never leave the scene of a crime.
-- Charlie Callas

Website 4 the day:
Audio-only films:
https://thenextweb.com/shareables/2019/04/03/listen-to-movie-at-work/

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How to have a good day

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, April 22, 2019, In : Humor 
My boss told me to have a good day. So I went home.

Website 4 the day:
Free Microsoft courses:  
https://academy.microsoft.com/en-us/professional-program/tracks/

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Only golf

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, April 22, 2019, In : Humor 
Golf is the only sport where the object is to play as little as possible.
-- Charles G. McLoughlin

Website 4 the day:
Gardening tips:
http://freeplants.com/

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A place for hotels

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, April 22, 2019, In : Humor 
A hotel is a place that keeps the makers of twenty-five-watt lightbulbs in business.
-- Shelley Berman

Website 4 the day:
Ring of 48 high-speed cameras:
https://youtu.be/3fu3anMtDS8

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Trouble with NYC

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, April 22, 2019, In : Humor 
The trouble with New York is that it's so convenient to everything I can't afford.
-- Jack Barry

Website 4 the day:
Plant watercolors:
https://usdawatercolors.nal.usda.gov/pom/search.xhtml

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Talking dogs

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, April 22, 2019, In : Humor 
If dogs could talk, they's say things like: "Hey! Hey! Hey!"
Ellen DeGeneres

Website 4 the day:
Check USB manufacturer information:
https://www.softpedia.com/get/System/System-Info/ChipGenius.shtml

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Things to never eat

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, April 22, 2019, In : Humor 
Never eat anything that has to be explained.
-- Charles Schulz

Website 4 the day:
Popular cars through the years:
https://www.popularmechanics.com/cars/g23320934/car-history/

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Blank dictionary

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, April 14, 2019, In : Humor 
I bought a dictionary and when I got home I realized all the pages were blank; I have no words for how angry I am.

Website 4 the day:
How to be a Wikipedia editor:
https://www.maketecheasier.com/howto-become-wikipedia-editor/

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Food for travel

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, April 14, 2019, In : Humor 
Never travel without food in your pocket - if only to throw at attacking dogs.
-- E. S. Bates

Website 4 the day:
Are you owed a refund?
https://paribus.co/

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The Flemish masters

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, April 14, 2019, In : Humor 
We studied the Flemish masters using real phlegm.
-- Lew Cady

Website 4 the day:
Data breach support:
https://www.breachclarity.com/

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Happily married

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, April 14, 2019, In : Humor 
He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.
-- Victor Borge

Website 4 the day:
7.5 billion people on one chart:
https://www.weforum.org/agenda/2019/04/the-world-s-7-5-billion-people-in-one-chart/

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Politics

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, April 14, 2019, In : Humor 
Politics: 'Poli' a Latin word meaning 'many'; and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures.'
-- Robin Williams

Website 4 the day:
The biggest theft:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cnh0Z51H87s

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Magic trapdoor

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, April 5, 2019, In : Humor 
A magician added a trapdoor into his show. But I think it’s just a stage he’s going through.

Website 4 the day:
URL lengthener:
http://aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.com/

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Money in golf

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, April 5, 2019, In : Humor 
You can make a lot of money playing golf. Just ask my ex-wives.
-- Lee Trevino

Website 4 the day:
Unsearchable YouTube videos:
http://defaultfile.name/

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As a porcupine

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, April 5, 2019, In : Humor 
A friend said that in the next life she'd like to come back as a porcupine. She doesn't like crowds.
-- Brian Andreas

Website 4 the day:
Is it normal?
https://www.isitnormal.com/

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Birthday present

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, March 27, 2019, In : Humor 
I gave a bald friend a comb for his birthday. I think he liked the gift because he said he would never part with it.

Website 4 the day:
Three words can pinpoint your location:
https://what3words.com/

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Canine IQ

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, March 27, 2019, In : Humor 
A Canadian psychologist is selling a video that teaches you how to test your dog’s IQ. Here’s how it works: If you spend $12.99 for the video, your dog is smarter than you.
-- Jay Leno

Website 4 the day:
Python data analysis library:
https://pandas.pydata.org/

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Climbing the ladder

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, March 27, 2019, In : Humor 
She's the kind of girl who climbed the ladder of success wrong by wrong.
-- Mae West

Website 4 the day:
59 ways to cook eggs:
https://youtu.be/qWAagS_MANg

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Excellent lawyer

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, March 27, 2019, In : Humor 
I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back.
-- Fred Allen

Website 4 the day:
360-degree view of the Milky Way Galaxy:
https://futurism.com/the-byte/360-degree-video-milky-way-galaxy

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Not even an inkling

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, March 27, 2019, In : Humor 
There are truths of which I have an inkling, but of most I have only a penciling.
-- Robert Brault

Website 4 the day:
Genderless voice:
https://www.fastcompany.com/90321378/the-worlds-first-genderless-ai-voice-is-here-listen-now

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May duct tape be with you

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, March 27, 2019, In : Humor 
Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
-- Carl Zwanzig

Website 4 the day:
Traffic simulation:
http://traffic-simulation.de/

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Born again

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, March 18, 2019, In : Humor 
I thought about being born again, but my mother refused.

Website 4 the day:
Hard pressure points:
https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/324699.php

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Answering an argument

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, March 18, 2019, In : Humor 
If you cannot answer a man's argument, all it not lost; you can still call him vile names.
-- Elbert Hubbard

Website 4 the day:
YouTube mashups:
https://rave.dj/

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Family fun

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, March 18, 2019, In : Humor 
There's no such thing as fun for the whole family.
-- Jerry Seinfeld

Website 4 the day:
How random are you?
https://www.expunctis.com/2019/03/07/Not-so-random.html

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Revealing signatures

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, March 18, 2019, In : Humor 

A signature always reveals a man's character — and sometimes even his name.
-- Evan Esar

Website 4 the day:
Relative cost of living: 
https://www.numbeo.com/cost-of-living/

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My broken marionette

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, March 13, 2019, In : Humor 
I am giving away my broken marionette. No strings attached.

Website 4 the day:
This startup does not exist
https://thisstartupdoesnotexist.com/

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If at first you don't succeed

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, March 13, 2019, In : Humor 
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
-- Steven Wright

Website 4 the day:
8 hours of Star Trek DS9 OPS sounds:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mDEO07viY-g

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Mexican magician

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, February 28, 2019, In : Humor 
A Mexican magician was doing a magic trick. He said, Uno, Dose, and he disappeared without a trace

Website 4 the day:
Video editor:
https://shotcut.org/

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Pessimism

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, February 28, 2019, In : Humor 
My pessimism extends to the point of even suspecting the sincerity of other pessimists.
-- Jean Rostand

Website 4 the day:
Fold clothes like Marie Kondo:
https://www.familyhandyman.com/storage-organization/how-to-fold-clothes-like-marie-kondo/

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Keeping a man guessing

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, February 28, 2019, In : Humor 
Don’t keep a man guessing too long – he’s sure to find the answer somewhere else.
-- Mae West

Website 4 the day:
Search public records:
http://brbpublications.com

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Cleaning after children

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, February 28, 2019, In : Humor 

Cleaning up with children around is like shoveling during a blizzard.
-- Margaret Culkin Banning

Website 4 the day:
Explore math:
https://www.desmos.com/

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Double your money

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, February 28, 2019, In : Humor 
The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.
-- Kin Hubbard

Website 4 the day:
Salaries at Google, Facebook, and Microsoft:
https://www.levels.fyi/SE/Google/Facebook/Microsoft

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Driving me crazy

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, February 28, 2019, In : Humor 
You can't drive me crazy because I am close enough to walk.

Website 4 the day:
Motherboard speaker music?
https://techcrunch.com/2019/02/08/feel-the-beep-this-album-is-played-entirely-on-a-pc-motherboard-speaker/

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Crossing paths

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, February 28, 2019, In : Humor 
A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
-- Groucho Marx

Website 4 the day:
Hiding places:
https://www.familyhandyman.com/smart-homeowner/the-ultimate-guide-for-secret-hiding-places-in-your-home/view-all/

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Invention of high heels

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, February 28, 2019, In : Humor 
High heels were invented by a woman who had been kissed on the forehead.
-- Christopher Morley

Website 4 the day:
Video games as medicine:
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/doctors-may-soon-prescribe-a-video-game-for-mental-health_n_55c9182ae4b0f1cbf1e60df9

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Astrology

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, February 28, 2019, In : Humor 
I don’t believe in astrology; I’m a Sagittarius and we’re skeptical.
-- Arthur C. Clarke

Website 4 the day:
Google knows where you have been:
https://www.google.com/maps/timeline

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Paper or plastic?

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, February 22, 2019, In : Humor 
I bought a box of condoms earlier today. The cashier asked if I'd like a bag. I said "nah, I'll just turn the lights off."

Website 4 the day:
Color consciousness
https://www.eastman.org/sites/default/files/technicolor/pdfs/ColorConsultants_ColorConsciousness.pdf

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I hate nostalgia

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, February 22, 2019, In : Humor 
I hate nostalgia. Hated it then and hat it now.
-- Ed Asner

Website 4 the day:
Free proxy list:
http://free-proxy.cz/en/

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Not all drugs

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, February 22, 2019, In : Humor 
I am not opposed to all drugs. I watch TV.
-- Paul Krassner

Website 4 the day:
Becoming an organism:
http://digg.com/video/cell-division-time-lapse

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Tranquilizers for all

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, February 22, 2019, In : Humor 
If everyone took tranquilizers, nobody would need them.
-- Edmund Orrin

Website 4 the day:
Where is Starman?
https://www.whereisroadster.com/

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Not by words alone

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, February 22, 2019, In : Humor 
Man does not live by words alone, even though he sometimes has to eat them.
-- Adlai Stevenson

Website 4 the day:
Fastest growing US jobs:
https://bit.ly/2RM2voJ

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Baldness

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, February 22, 2019, In : Humor 
If you're bald, remember that grass doesn't grow on a busy street.
-- William Hague

Website 4 the day:
National Forest typeface:
https://nationalparktypeface.com/Download

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I'm a deck of cards!

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, February 5, 2019, In : Humor 
A patient bursts into a doctor’s office, "Doctor, I believe I'm a deck of cards!"
The doctor calmly replies, "Go sit in the waiting room, please, I'll be dealing with you later." |

Website 4 the day:
Google slides to animated GIF:
https://talltweets.com/

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Nobody is Perfect.

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, February 4, 2019, In : Humor 
Nobody is Perfect.
I am Nobody.

Website 4 the day:
Boxes? Hallways?
http://crossdivisions.com/

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Salt water fish

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 29, 2019, In : Humor 
Fish live in salt water because they sneeze in pepper water.

Website 4 the day:
Map of anonymous Wikipedia edits:
http://www.lkozma.net/wpv/index.html

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Not too long

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 29, 2019, In : Humor 
If you are not too long, I will wait here for you all my life.
-- Oscar Wilde

Website 4 the day:
Short films:
http://sheepfilms.co.uk/category/shortfilms/

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Expiration dates

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 29, 2019, In : Humor 
Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
-- George Carlin

Website 4 the day:
Find stigmatized properties:
https://www.housecreep.com/

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Would give my right arm

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, January 24, 2019, In : Humor 
I would give my right arm to be ambidextrous!

Website 4 the day:
Shake your head to see an image:
https://www.iflscience.com/editors-blog/latest-viral-optical-illusion-has-you-shaking-your-head-to-see-hidden-image/

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Shopping for happiness

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, January 24, 2019, In : Humor 
Whoever said money can’t buy happiness didn’t know where to shop.
-- Gertrude Stein

Website 4 the day:
How much of the internet is fake?
https://nymag.com/intelligencer/2018/12/how-much-of-the-internet-is-fake.html

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Write a novel

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, January 24, 2019, In : Humor 
I can’t understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.
-- Fred Allen

Website 4 the day:
Public safety streams:
https://www.broadcastify.com/

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A thirteenth floor

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, January 16, 2019, In : Humor 
Why are builders afraid to have a thirteenth floor but publishers aren't afraid of Chapter 11?

Website 4 the day:
Cat history:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jsj-hDW9bS8

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Jury duty

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, January 16, 2019, In : Humor 
I have never served on a jury because I am usually the accused.
-- Robert Pinske

Website 4 the day:
Free movies:
https://www.imdb.com/freedive/

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Eating and intelligence

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, January 16, 2019, In : Humor 
I won't eat any form of intelligent life, but I would gladly eat a network executive.
-- Marty Feldman

Website 4 the day:
Recover lost photos and videos:
https://www.cgsecurity.org/wiki/PhotoRec

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Cooking tip

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, January 16, 2019, In : Humor 
Cooking tip: wrap turkey leftovers in aluminum foil and throw them out.
-- Nicole Hollander

Website 4 the day:
Recover lost data:
https://www.cgsecurity.org/wiki/TestDisk

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Live by yourself

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, January 16, 2019, In : Humor 
When you live by yourself, all of your annoying habits disappear.
-- Merrill Markoe

Website 4 the day:
Find similar songs:
http://moretrackslikethis.com/

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Selling my vacuum

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 8, 2019, In : Humor 
I decided to sell my vacuum cleaner. It was just collecting dust.

Website 4 the day:
Motivation game-style:
https://lvluplife.com/

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John Madden

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 8, 2019, In : Humor 
John Madden is a man who didn't let success go to his clothes.
-- Mike Ditka

Website 4 the day:
If the moon was one pixel:
http://joshworth.com/dev/pixelspace/pixelspace_solarsystem.html

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Singer from Rhode Island

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 8, 2019, In : Humor 
I first billed myself as a signer from Rhode Island, an act of Providence.
-- George Burns

Website 4 the day:
Memory games:
http://www.memozor.com/memory-game-online-free

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A dental plan

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 8, 2019, In : Humor 
I finally have a dental plan. I chew on the other side.
-- Janine Ditullio

Website 4 the day:
MP3 to text:
https://www.ofoct.com/audio-converter/audio-to-text.html

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Is it a missle?

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, January 5, 2019, In : Humor 
Is it still called a "missile" if it hits the target?

Website 4 the day:
Create a logo:
https://logomaker.thehoth.com/

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No girlfriend

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, January 5, 2019, In : Humor 
I don’t have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who’d be mad at me for saying that.
-- Mitch Hedberg

Website 4 the day:
Web app development community:
https://glitch.com/

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Ruination

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, January 5, 2019, In : Humor 
Reality continues to ruin my life.
-- Bill Watterson

Website 4 the day:
How funny are words?
https://link.springer.com/article/10.3758/s13428-017-0930-6

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So stupid

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, December 25, 2018, In : Humor 
A friend was so stupid that he had to change states and take on an assumed name. He was in the Witless Protection Program.

Website 4 the day:
Guesses the character you are thinking of:
https://en.akinator.com/game

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Only one regret

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, December 25, 2018, In : Humor 
My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.
-- Woody Allen

Website 4 the day:
MP3 tag editor:
https://www.mp3tag.de/

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Be sorry tomorrow

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, December 25, 2018, In : Humor 
If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow, sleep late.
-- Henny Youngman

Website 4 the day:
Network scanner:
https://angryip.org/

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Apple's new car

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, December 19, 2018, In : Humor 
I heard Apple is designing a new automatic car. But they're having trouble installing windows.

Website 4 the day:
#1 song when you were born:
https://playback.fm/birthday-song

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Bureaucrats

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, December 19, 2018, In : Humor 
A bureaucrat is a Democrat who holds an office that a Republican wants.
-- Harry S. Truman

Website 4 the day:
Program in emojis:
https://www.emojicode.org/

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10 percent of brains

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, December 19, 2018, In : Humor 
We only use 10 percent of our brains. Think what we could do if we used the other 60 percent.
-- Ellen DeGeneres

Website 4 the day:
Museum of endangered sounds:
http://savethesounds.info/

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General Failure

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, December 19, 2018, In : Humor 
Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?
-- Steven Wright

Website 4 the day:
Free PDF editor:
http://pdfedit.cz/en/index.html

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Sandwich in a bar

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, December 16, 2018, In : Humor 
A sandwich walks into a bar and orders a whiskey.
“Sorry,” growls the bartender, “we don’t serve food here.”

Website 4 the day:
Cat, solid or liquid?
https://www.sunnyskyz.com/blog/2649/Physicist-Wins-Ig-Noble-Prize-For-Study-On-Whether-Cats-Should-Be-Classified-As-Liquids-Or-Solids

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Keep your facts

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, December 16, 2018, In : Humor 
Keep your facts, I'm going with the truth.
-- Stephen Colbert

Website 4 the day:
Find your perfect Linux distribution:
https://librehunt.org/

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Motivational tapes

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, December 16, 2018, In : Humor 
I have a set of motivational tapes, but I never feel like watching them.
-- Daniel Liebert

Website 4 the day:
Download videos:
https://www.xvideothief.com/

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Bought a staple gun

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, December 16, 2018, In : Humor 
My husband bought a staple gun. Now we have to bring food to the cat.
-- Rita Rudner

Website 4 the day:
Free streaming movies:
https://www.kanopy.com/

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Fine line of cooking

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, December 16, 2018, In : Humor 
My wife treads a fine line between cooking and arson.
-- Bill Hoest

Website 4 the day:
Is your Flash drive fake?
https://www.rmprepusb.com/tutorials/-fake-usb-flash-memory-drives

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Failed magicians

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, December 9, 2018, In : Humor 
I come from a family of failed magicians. I have two half-sisters.

Website 4 the day:
Free magic tricks:
https://trickshop.com/free-downloads.html

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Why a magician?

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, December 9, 2018, In : Humor 
I became a magician when my sister told me she got $100 a trick.
-- Michael Finney

Website 4 the day:
$99 Linux laptop:
https://www.forbes.com/sites/jasonevangelho/2018/11/21/pinebook-my-first-few-surprising-hours-with-a-99-linux-laptop/#298169725be2

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The noblest dog

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, December 9, 2018, In : Humor 
The noblest dog is the hot dog, which feeds the hand that bites it.
-- Laurence J. Peter

Website 4 the day:
US population by state:
https://www.reddit.com/r/dataisbeautiful/comments/9yasnn/us_population_growth_by_state_19002017_oc/

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Too much music

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, December 9, 2018, In : Humor 
Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.
-- Igor Stravinsky

Website 4 the day:
Google products that flopped:
https://gcemetery.co/

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Psychoanalysis takes years

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, December 9, 2018, In : Humor 

Psychoanalysis is a process that usually takes years, which is why Freudians have such lovely summer homes.
-- Cynthia Heimel

Website 4 the day:
Recover deleted files:
https://www.ccleaner.com/recuva

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17 days straight

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, December 9, 2018, In : Humor 
I've been straight for seventeen days . . . but not all in a row.
-- sam Kinison

Website 4 the day:
Free graphic viewer:
https://www.irfanview.com/

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A theatrical performance

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, November 27, 2018, In : Humor 
I saw a theatrical performance of a dictionary. It was a play on words.

Website 4 the day:
Quantum gravity research:
http://www.quantumgravityresearch.org/

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Life is short

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, November 27, 2018, In : Humor 
Life is too short to learn German.
-- Oscar Wilde

Website 4 the day:
Free TV:
https://view.yahoo.com/

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Balloon exercising

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, November 19, 2018, In : Humor 
I used to lift balloons for exercise. But, I stopped because It wasn't really working out.

Website 4 the day:
Pedestrian devoured by sink hole:
https://digg.com/video/sinkhole-lanzhou-city?utm_source=digg&utm_medium=email

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Fishing

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, November 19, 2018, In : Humor 
Teach a man to fish and he eats for a day. Teach him how to fish and you get rid of him for the whole weekend.
-- Zenna Schaffer

Website 4 the day:
Einstein's concern a decade before rise of Nazis:
https://noox.app/us/3395960

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Used to do drugs

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, November 19, 2018, In : Humor 
I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too.
-- Mitch Hedberg

Website 4 the day:
Social media and depression:
https://www.businessinsider.com/facebook-instagram-snapchat-social-media-well-being-2018-11

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Truth is beauty

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, November 19, 2018, In : Humor 
It's difficult to reconcile that concept that truth is beauty with orthodontia and nose jobs.
-- Judith Viorst

Website 4 the day:
AI for all:
https://www.acumos.org/

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A good listener

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, November 19, 2018, In : Humor 
A good listener is a good talker with a sore throat.
-- Katherine Whitehorn

Website 4 the day:
An app to save everything:
https://collect.wetransfer.com/

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Sale at a turf farm

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, November 12, 2018, In : Humor 
I just heard that the local turf farm was having a yard sale.

Website 4 the day:
Cheat sheets:
https://www.cheatography.com/

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Object in motion or rest

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, November 12, 2018, In : Humor 
An object in motion will continue in the wrong direction. An object at rest will remain in the wrong place.
-- David Gerold

Website 4 the day:
Site for early adopters:
https://betalist.com/

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My retirement plan

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, November 12, 2018, In : Humor 
My retirement plan is a slippery floor in a department store.
-- Keith McGill

Website 4 the day:
Make an app or game without programming:
https://www.buildbox.com/

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Information booth job

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, November 12, 2018, In : Humor 
I was hired for a job in an information booth with no questions asked.
-- Jay London

Website 4 the day:
Sub-$1 microcontrollers compared:
https://jaycarlson.net/microcontrollers/

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The auto body shop

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, October 31, 2018, In : Humor 
The auto body shop was wreck-a-mended.

Website 4 the day:
Home for introverts:
https://www.riskology.co/blog/

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Breeding rabbits

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, October 27, 2018, In : Humor 
Breeding rabbits was a hare-raising experience.

Website 4 the day:
Penny pictures:
http://www.fincher.org/Misc/Pennies/BigTower.shtml

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Refuse to admit

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, October 27, 2018, In : Humor 
I refuse to admit I'm more than fifty-two, even if that does make my sons illegitimate.
-- Nancy Astor

Website 4 the day:
Calculus from over 100 years ago:
https://www.gutenberg.org/files/33283/33283-pdf.pdf

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Middle aged

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, October 27, 2018, In : Humor 
I'm 59 and people call me middle aged. How many 118 year old men do you know?
-- Barry Cryer

Website 4 the day:
Meet halfway:
https://www.meetways.com/

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This morning

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, October 17, 2018, In : Humor 
Waking up this morning was an eye-opening experience.

Website 4 the day:
Trumpet vs. hair:
http://trumpdonald.org/

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Intelligent life

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, October 17, 2018, In : Humor 
Personally, I don't think there's intelligent life on other planets. Why should other planets be any different from this one?
-- Bob Monkhouse

Website 4 the day:
Odd research:
https://www.improbable.com/ig/winners/

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Ultimate frustration

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, October 17, 2018, In : Humor 
Nothing is as frustrating as arguing with someone who knows what he's talking about.
-- Sam Ewing

Website 4 the day:
Stephen Hawkings' final paper:
https://arxiv.org/pdf/1810.01847.pdf

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Soar in the clouds

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, October 17, 2018, In : Humor 
Eagles may soar in the clouds, but weasels never get sucked into jet engines.
-- Steven Wright

Website 4 the day:
8 hours of Star Trek bridge sounds:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vnU2qn6-hz4

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Camping in nature

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, October 17, 2018, In : Humor 
Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business.
-- Dave Barry

Website 4 the day:
Count sheep:
http://www.icantsleep.help/

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Fond of children

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, October 17, 2018, In : Humor 
I am fond of children - except boys.
-- Lewis Carroll

Website 4 the day:
Count the flashes:
https://digg.com/video/rabbit-illusion

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Russian Dolls

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, October 15, 2018, In : Humor 
I hate Russian Dolls. They're so full of themselves.

Website 4 the day:
Click to remove:
http://www.clicktoremove.com/

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Writing a book

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, October 15, 2018, In : Humor 
I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.
-- Steven Wright

Website 4 the day:
This guy wants your money:
http://www.ijustwantyourmoney.com/

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Internet answers

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, October 15, 2018, In : Humor 
The best way to get the right answer on the internet is not to ask a question; it's to post the wrong answer.
-- Ward Cunningham

Website 4 the day:
Recover from brain freeze:
https://cdn2.hubspot.net/hub/124879/file-1305051026-pdf/GENARD_METHOD_CHEAT_SHEETS/Genard_Method_Cheat_Sheet_5WaysToRecoverFromABrainFreeze_PDF.pdf

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Increased esteem

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, October 15, 2018, In : Humor 
My esteem for this country has gone up substantially. It is very nice now that when people wave at me, they use all their fingers.
-- Jimmy Carter

Website 4 the day:
Data visualization:
https://serialmentor.com/dataviz/

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Never date a tennis player

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, October 6, 2018, In : Humor 
Never date a tennis player. Love means nothing to them.

Website 4 the day:
SPAM® museum:
http://www.spam.com/museum

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Knowledge vs. underwear

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, October 5, 2018, In : Humor 
Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but not necessary to show it off.
-- Bill Murray

Website 4 the day:
Learn photography:
http://photoskop.com/

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So surprised

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, October 5, 2018, In : Humor 
When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half.
-- Gracie Allen

Website 4 the day:
Result of a nuclear bomb:
https://outrider.org/nuclear-weapons/interactive/bomb-blast

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Ain't sleeping

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, October 5, 2018, In : Humor 
I ain't sleeping. I'm just taking a good look at the insides of my eyelids.
-- Jonathan Raban

Website 4 the day:
What's it like to be dyslexic:
https://geon.github.io/programming/2016/03/03/dsxyliea

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Invention of swearing

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, October 5, 2018, In : Humor 
Swearing was invented as a compromise between running away and fighting.
-- Finley Peter Dunne

Website 4 the day:
Watch a palate make sounds
https://dood.al/pinktrombone/

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Every successful man

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, October 5, 2018, In : Humor 
Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.
-- Maryon Pearson

Website 4 the day:
Behind the news:
http://time.com/photography/lightbox/

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Neighbor's chickens

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, September 25, 2018, In : Humor 
My neighbor's chickens were eating my garden, so I put up a fence. Now it is impeccable.

Website 4 the day:
If you are bored:
https://www.boredbutton.com/

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They laughed at Joan of Arc

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, September 25, 2018, In : Humor 
They laughed at Joan of Arc, but she went right ahead and built it anyway.
-- Gracie Allen

Website 4 the day:
Free wallpaper:
https://interfacelift.com/

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Meek inheritance

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, September 25, 2018, In : Humor 
The meek shall inherit the earth. They won't have the nerve to refuse it.
-- Jackie Vernon

Website 4 the day:
Make things:
https://www.tinkercad.com/#/

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Only flair

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, September 25, 2018, In : Humor 
Her only flair is in her nostrils.
-- Pauline Kael

Website 4 the day:
Chart of Electromagnetic Radiations:
https://www.flickr.com/photos/llnl/9403051123/sizes/l/

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Sued the airline

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, September 22, 2018, In : Humor 
When I sued the airline for my missing luggage, the verdict was that I lost my case.

Website 4 the day:
USA in numbers:
https://usafacts.org/

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Major problem mistakes

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, September 22, 2018, In : Humor 
It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes.
-- Douglas Adams

Website 4 the day:
Machine learning with Python:
https://towardsdatascience.com/a-complete-machine-learning-walk-through-in-python-part-one-c62152f39420

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A dirty bird

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, September 16, 2018, In : Humor 
My parrot was dirty, so I bought a feather duster.

Website 4 the day:
Lightning map: 
http://en.blitzortung.org/live_lightning_maps.php?map=30

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Went for a massage

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, September 10, 2018, In : Humor 
I went for a massage because I wanted to be kneaded.

Website 4 the day:
Accomplishments by your age:
http://www.museumofconceptualart.com/accomplished/index.html

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Photographing Shirley Temple

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, September 10, 2018, In : Humor 
They used to photograph Shirley Temple through gauze. They should photograph me through linoleum.
-- Tallulah Bankhead

Website 4 the day:
Better CLI commands:
https://remysharp.com/2018/08/23/cli-improved

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Violin vs. viola

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, September 10, 2018, In : Humor 
The difference between a violin and a viola is that a viola burns longer.
-- Victor Borge

Website 4 the day:
Make slogan great again:
http://beat2020.com/

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Of doors and dogs

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, September 10, 2018, In : Humor 
A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.
-- Ogden Nash

Website 4 the day:
Online TV:
http://xumo.tv

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Missing eggs

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, August 31, 2018, In : Humor 
The chicken couldn't find her eggs. She must have mislaid them.

Website 4 the day:
Conference call simulator:
http://conferencecall.biz/

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Full of it

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, August 31, 2018, In : Humor 
Life is full of obstacle illusions.
-- Grant Frazier

Website 4 the day:
Who loves you more?
https://melmagazine.com/ranking-every-kind-of-pet-by-how-capable-it-is-of-loving-you-72d38f87e20f 

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Nobody listens

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, August 31, 2018, In : Humor 
No one really listens to anyone else, and if you try it for a while you'll see why.
-- Mignon McLaughlin

Website 4 the day:
I said don't call me!
http://isaiddontcall.me/

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Awake in case of emergency

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, August 31, 2018, In : Humor 
I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting.
-- Ronald Reagan

Website 4 the day:
Library e-books and audiobooks:
https://meet.libbyapp.com/

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Comes a time

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, August 31, 2018, In : Humor 
There comes a time in every man's life and I've had many of them.
-- Casey Stengel

Website 4 the day:
Text to image:
http://t2i.cvalenzuelab.com/

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Walking on water

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, August 31, 2018, In : Humor 
If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read "President Can't Swim".
-- Lyndon B. Johnson

Website 4 the day:
Python introduction:
https://medium.freecodecamp.org/learning-python-from-zero-to-hero-120ea540b567

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Dog from a hat

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, August 17, 2018, In : Humor 
I saw a magician pull a full-sized dog out of a large hat. It was a Labracadabrador.

Website 4 the day:
Worst search result:
http://feelingunlucky.today/

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Dinner music

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, August 17, 2018, In : Humor 
Music with dinner is an insult both to the cook and the violinist.
-- G. K. Chesterton

Website 4 the day:
Your animal weight:
http://myanimalweight.com/

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A good listener

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, August 17, 2018, In : Humor 
A good listener is usually thinking about something else.
-- Kin Hubbard

Website 4 the day:
Listen to the moon trip:
https://www.newsweek.com/inside-apollo-11-you-can-now-listen-buzz-aldrin-and-neil-armstrongs-1043435

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Back on your feet

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, August 16, 2018, In : Humor 
The best way to get back on your feet — miss a car payment.

Website 4 the day:
The customer is not always right:
https://notalwaysright.com/

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Rides from strange men

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, August 16, 2018, In : Humor 
Don't accept rides from strange men, and remember that all men are strange.
-- Robin Morgan

Website 4 the day:
How fast is your internet download?
https://fast.com/

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Paying taxes

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, August 11, 2018, In : Humor 
I believe we should all pay our tax bill with a smile. I tried — but they wanted cash.

Website 4 the day:
Tour the stars:
http://stars.chromeexperiments.com/

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Dog adoption

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, August 11, 2018, In : Humor 
I’m planning to adopt a dog soon, it wasn’t my first choice but my doctor told me I can’t have any biologically.
-- Bill Murray

Website 4 the day:
Quantum computers, explained:
https://www.explainingcomputers.com/quantum.html

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The 2nd oldest profession

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, August 11, 2018, In : Humor 
Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.
-- Ronald Reagan

Website 4 the day:
Curated coding videos:
https://www.codingvideoz.com/

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My dream job

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, August 11, 2018, In : Humor 
My dream job would be the Karma delivery service.
-- Bill Murray

Website 4 the day:
1 second on the internet:
https://tecsynt.com/image/iot-white-paper-one-second.jpg

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Chicken crossing the road

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, August 11, 2018, In : Humor 
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you didn’t cook it!
-- Gordon Ramsay

Website 4 the day:
Time wasting website:
https://clickclickclick.click

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It's useless

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, August 11, 2018, In : Humor 
It’s useless to hold a person to anything they say when they are in love, drunk or running for office.
-- Shirley MacLaine

Website 4 the day:
Classic TV shows are sped up:
http://www.slate.com/blogs/browbeat/2015/03/04/tv_shows_sped_up_to_make_room_for_ads_can_you_tell_the_difference_a_quiz.html

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Emotional wedding

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, August 4, 2018, In : Humor 
I went to a really emotional wedding the other day. The cake was in tiers.

Website 4 the day:
Sacred texts:
http://www.sacred-texts.com/index.htm

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What giraffes don't smell

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, August 4, 2018, In : Humor 
I bet giraffes don’t even know what farts smell like.
-- Bill Murray

Website 4 the day:
Create your own web page:
https://about.me/

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Catching my eye

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, August 4, 2018, In : Humor 
I tell you what always catches my eye. Short people with an umbrella.
-- Gary Delaney

Website 4 the day:
Reddit University:
http://ureddit.com/

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Who is weaker?

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, August 4, 2018, In : Humor 
If you think women are the weaker sex, try pulling the blanket back to your side.
-- Stuart Turner

Website 4 the day:
Track a package:
http://www.boxoh.com/

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The biggest critics

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, August 4, 2018, In : Humor 
The biggest critics of my books are the people who never read them 
-- Jackie Collins 

Website 4 the day:
Living wage calculator: 
http://livingwage.mit.edu/

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A new store

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, July 26, 2018, In : Humor 
I am going to start a new store that only sells Cheerios, bagels, and donuts. It will be called "Hole Foods."

Website 4 the day:
8 hours of Star Trek DS9 Quark's bar sounds:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yyi-5BWRWdM

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Terrible things

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, July 26, 2018, In : Humor 
I've lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened
-- Mark Twain

Website 4 the day:
Free stock videos:
http://makerbook.net/video/

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Life v. art

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, July 26, 2018, In : Humor 
Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.
-- Woody Allen

Website 4 the day:
Free images:
https://www.typeform.com/blog/ask-awesomely/free-pics/

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Not going to the nude beach

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, July 21, 2018, In : Humor 
My wife refuses to go to a nude beach with me. She's just being clothes-minded.

Website 4 the day:
Paint on a speaker:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4lm75v4Ndlg

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If we can't fix it

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, July 21, 2018, In : Humor 
If we can't fix it, it ain't broken.
-- Walt Weir

Website 4 the day:
Programming books:
https://github.com/tpn/pdfs

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Fall of the Roman Empire

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, July 21, 2018, In : Humor 
One of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.''
-- Robert Firth

Website 4 the day:
Open source GUI prototyping:
http://pencil.evolus.vn/Default.html

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Letter friendly

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, July 14, 2018, In : Humor 
I’m friendly with 25 letters of the alphabet, but I don’t know why.

Website 4 the day:
Log into sites that need a user/password:
http://login2.me/

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Cute sleep

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, July 14, 2018, In : Humor 
Sleep is so cute when it tries to compete with the internet.
-- Will Ferrell

Website 4 the day:
Relax with soothing kitten images: 
http://www.eyebleach.me/

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Nothing but respect

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, July 14, 2018, In : Humor 
I have nothing but respect for you – and not much of that.
-- Groucho Marx

Website 4 the day:
Conspiracy theory list:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_conspiracy_theories

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Weather forecast

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, July 14, 2018, In : Humor 
Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
-- George Carlin

Website 4 the day:
Worm follows mouse:
http://www.staggeringbeauty.com/

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I want to win

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, July 4, 2018, In : Humor 
I want to win a huge lottery payoff, just like my dad. He never won, but he wanted to.

Website 4 the day:
Free videos:
http://videos.pexels.com

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Flowers for no reason

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, July 4, 2018, In : Humor 
When a man brings his wife flowers for no reason, there’s a reason.
-- Molly McGee

Website 4 the day:
Low power Linux:
http://www.bodhilinux.com/

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Life's problem

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, July 4, 2018, In : Humor 
The problem with life is, by the time you can read women like a book, your library card has expired.
-- Milton Berle

Website 4 the day:
HTML e-mail for Gmail:
https://htmlmail.pro/

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Health club position

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, June 23, 2018, In : Humor 
I applied for a position in a health club, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.

Website 4 the day:
Innovators and entrepreneurs:
http://www.npr.org/podcasts/510313/how-i-built-this

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Terrified by women

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, June 23, 2018, In : Humor 
The most terrifying thing any woman can say to me is “Notice anything different?
-- Mike Vanatta

Website 4 the day:
Computational cognitive neuroscience:
https://grey.colorado.edu/mediawiki/sites/CompCogNeuro/images/0/0e/ccnbook_08_2016.pdf

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Getting a child's attention

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, June 23, 2018, In : Humor 
The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.
-- Lane Olinghouse

Website 4 the day:
Rewriter tools:
https://www.rewritertools.com/

Continue reading ...
 

Coffee or tea?

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, June 23, 2018, In : Humor 
If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee.
-- Abraham Lincoln

Website 4 the day:
Details on any web site:
http://builtwith.com

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Facebook name

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, June 23, 2018, In : Humor 
I'm changing my name to 'Benefits' on Facebook. Next time someone adds me, It will say "you are now friends with Benefits."

Website 4 the day:
Web programming playground:
https://webmakerapp.com

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Watching my drinking

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, June 23, 2018, In : Humor 
My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.
-- Rodney Dangerfield

Website 4 the day:
Make a comic:
https://www.pixton.com/

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Addicted

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, June 23, 2018, In : Humor 
I’m addicted to placebos.
-- Steven Wright

Website 4 the day:
Generate spreadsheet mock data:
https://mockaroo.com/

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No talent

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, June 23, 2018, In : Humor 
It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn’t give it up because by then I was too famous.
-- Robert Benchley

Website 4 the day:
Goldbach Conjecture calculator:
http://wims.unice.fr/wims/wims.cgi?module=tool/number/goldbach.en

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Chapstick v. Glue Stick

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, June 11, 2018, In : Humor 
My girlfriend asked me to pass her the Chapstick and I accidentally passed her the Glue Stick! She hasn't said a word to me since.

Website 4 the day:
Hi-def NYC flyover:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UN3uF3990Q0

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Everybody lies

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, June 11, 2018, In : Humor 
Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter because nobody listens.
-- Nick Diamos

Website 4 the day:
VPN comparison:
https://thatoneprivacysite.net/vpn-comparison-chart/

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Indonesian drivers

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, June 11, 2018, In : Humor 
Once you see the drivers in Indonesia, you understand why religion plays such a big part in their lives.
-- Erma Bombeck

Website 4 the day:
Digital literacy terms:
https://www.tolerance.org/magazine/fall-2017/speaking-of-digital-literacy

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Going to an opera

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, June 11, 2018, In : Humor 
Going to an opera, like getting drunk, is a sin that carries its own punishment.
-- Hannah More

Website 4 the day:
Thinking in systems:
http://ncase.me/loopy/

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An oboe

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, June 11, 2018, In : Humor 
An oboe is an ill wind that nobody blows good.
-- Will Rogers

Website 4 the day:
Software project management (free for a three-member team):
https://clubhouse.io/

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High heating bill

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, June 11, 2018, In : Humor 
My landlord wanted to make an appointment to talk to me about how high my heating bill is. I told him, "My door is always open".

Website 4 the day:
Audio-only television:
http://blindy.tv/

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Love my friends

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, June 11, 2018, In : Humor 
I love my friends. Without them, I'd be the most screwed-up person I know.
-- Margo Black

Website 4 the day:
Remove website malware:
https://hackercombat.com/fix-malware-from-your-website-free/

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Driving too fast

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, June 11, 2018, In : Humor 
I drive much too fast to worry about cholesterol.
-- Steven Wright

Website 4 the day:
Check files or websites for viruses:
https://www.virustotal.com/#/home/upload

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Ignorance is bliss

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, June 11, 2018, In : Humor 
If ignorance is bliss, why aren't there more happy people?
-- Philip Howard

Website 4 the day:
AI Algorithms:
http://wps.aw.com/wps/media/objects/5771/5909832/PDF/Luger_0136070477_1.pdf


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Shoveling snow

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, June 2, 2018, In : Humor 
I told my wife that it was her turn to shovel and salt the front steps. All I got was icy stares.

Website 4 the day:
Why we like junk food:
http://jamesclear.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/why-humans-like-junk-food-steven-witherly.pdf

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Dissatisfied with life

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, June 2, 2018, In : Humor 
When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.
-- Will Rogers

Website 4 the day:
Mount. St. Helens missing photos:
https://www.whas11.com/mobile/article/news/local/mount-st-helens-eruption-never-before-published-photos/417-550397455

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Blonde jokes

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, June 1, 2018, In : Humor 
I'm not offended by all the dumb-blonde jokes because I know that I'm not dumb. I also know I'm not blonde.
-- Dolly Parton

Website 4 the day:
Remove USB write protection:
https://windows101tricks.com/how-to-remove-write-protection-from-usb

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Great reflexes

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, May 30, 2018, In : Humor 
With great reflexes comes great response ability.

Website 4 the day:
Laws of spacecraft design:
https://spacecraft.ssl.umd.edu/akins_laws.html

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Making exercise fun

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, May 30, 2018, In : Humor 
Wouldn’t exercise be more fun if calories screamed while you burned them?“
-- Bill Murray

Website 4 the day:
Free 3D CAD:
https://www.onshape.com/

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Avoid temptation

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, May 30, 2018, In : Humor 
Do not worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older it will avoid you.
-- Joey Adams

Website 4 the day:
Chrome browser's malware detector:
https://www.bleepingcomputer.com/tips/web-browsers/using-chrome-settings-cleanup-to-scan-for-unwanted-software-using-chrome/

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Laziness

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, May 30, 2018, In : Humor 
Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.
-- Jules Renard

Website 4 the day:
Audio books:

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Congressmen

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, May 30, 2018, In : Humor 
You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think.
-- Milton Berle

Website 4 the day:
Classic DOS games:
https://classicreload.com/

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Girl named Ilene

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, May 18, 2018, In : Humor 
A girl called herself Ilene because one leg was shorter than the other. 

Website 4 the day:
A hub for inspiration: 
https://www.ideaspies.com/

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All men are equal

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, May 18, 2018, In : Humor 
One man is a good as another until he has written a book.
-- Benjamin Jowett

Website 4 the day:
Free photos:
http://imcreator.com/free

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Five and dime

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, May 18, 2018, In : Humor 
A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore.
-- Yogi Berra

Website 4 the day:
Artificial Intelligence:
http://myweb.sabanciuniv.edu/rdehkharghani/files/2016/02/Prentice-Hall-Series-in-Artificial-Intelligence-Stuart-Russell-Peter-Norvig-Artificial-Intelligence_-A-Modern-Approach-Prentice-Hall-2010.pdf

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Positively bald

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, May 18, 2018, In : Humor 
There's one thing about baldness, it's neat.
-- Don Herold

Website 4 the day:
Firefox tips:
https://www.maketecheasier.com/tips-tricks-firefox

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Bought batteries

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, May 18, 2018, In : Humor 
I bought some batteries, but they weren't included.
-- Steven Wright

Website 4 the day:
Blockchain course:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qOVAbKKSH10

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A red tomato

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, May 14, 2018, In : Humor 
The tomato was red because it saw the salad dressing.

Website 4 the day:
Zoom quilt:
http://zoomquilt2.com/

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Naive kid

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, May 14, 2018, In : Humor 
I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing.
-- Johnny Carson

Website 4 the day:
Monitor Windows connections:
https://www.nirsoft.net/utils/cports.html

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Seeking a blessing

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, May 14, 2018, In : Humor 
What I am looking for is a blessing not in disguise.
-- Jerome K. Jerome

Website 4 the day:
Make a podcast:
https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.spreaker.android.studio

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The opening before

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, May 14, 2018, In : Humor 
Before I refuse to take your questions, I have an opening statement.
-- Ronald Reagan

Website 4 the day:
Research content:
http://buzzsumo.com/

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Moses was first

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, May 3, 2018, In : Humor 
Moses was the first person to bring data down from the cloud.

Website 4 the day:
Arbitrary online calculator:
https://apfloat.appspot.com/

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Don't trust children

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, May 3, 2018, In : Humor 
Folks, I don't trust children. They're here to replace us.
-- Stephen Colbert

Website 4 the day:
Learn GIT:
http://gitimmersion.com

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Noisy brakes

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, May 3, 2018, In : Humor 
I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
-- Steven Wright

Website 4 the day:
Automatically get credit card benefits:
https://www.siftwallet.com/

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A rich man

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, May 3, 2018, In : Humor 
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
-- W. C. Fields

Website 4 the day:
Privacy-focused Linux:
http://pureos.net

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Laugh at yourself

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, May 3, 2018, In : Humor 
If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
-- Groucho Marx

Website 4 the day:
Experimental security feature of Chrome:
https://www.maketecheasier.com/enable-chrome-strict-site-isolation/

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Library birthday party

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, April 27, 2018, In : Humor 
As a bibliophile, I wanted to reserve the library for my birthday party, but it was all booked up.

Website 4 the day:
Free sound effects:
https://www.soundjay.com/

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Avoid typos

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, April 18, 2018, In : Humor 
If you don't avoid typos, the errorists win.

Website 4 the day:
Interesting images from Google Street View:
http://9-eyes.com/

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A book for a desert island

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, April 18, 2018, In : Humor 
Someone asked me, if I were stranded on a desert island what book would I bring… ‘How to Build a Boat.’
-- Steven Wright

Website 4 the day:
Will robots take my job?
https://www.replacedbyrobot.info/

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Importance of a dog

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, April 18, 2018, In : Humor 
When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.
-- Nora Ephron

Website 4 the day:
Decode encoded URLs:
https://www.urlencoder.org/

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Rice is great

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, April 18, 2018, In : Humor 
I like rice. Rice is great when you’re hungry and you want 2000 of something.
-- Mitch Hedberg

Website 4 the day:
Torrent websites:
http://www.alltorrentsites.com/

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Life gives you lemons

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, April 18, 2018, In : Humor 
When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.
-- Cathy Guisewite

Website 4 the day:
The American Museum of the House Cat:
http://tiny.cc/housecat

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Marriage is grand

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, April 13, 2018, In : Humor 
Marriage is Grand. Divorce is 100 Grand.

Website 4 the day:
Vulgar words of the past:
http://publicdomainreview.org/collections/a-classical-dictionary-of-the-vulgar-tongue-1788/

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My family tree

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, April 13, 2018, In : Humor 
I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.
-- Rodney Dangerfield

Website 4 the day:
Public domain images:
http://publicdomainarchive.com/

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Gambling definition

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, April 13, 2018, In : Humor 
Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something.
-- Wilson Mizner

Website 4 the day:
Better media player:
https://mpc-hc.org/

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The art of procrastination

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, April 13, 2018, In : Humor 
Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.
-- Don Marquis

Website 4 the day:
Block ads by DNS:
https://adguard.com/en/adguard-dns/overview.html

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If at first

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, April 13, 2018, In : Humor 
If at first you don't succeed, find out if the loser gets anything.
-- William Lyon Phelps

Website 4 the day:
Title generator: 
https://www.portent.com/tools/title-maker

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No sleep

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, April 9, 2018, In : Humor 
I won't sleep until I find a cure for my insomnia.

Website 4 the day:
Do you have a twin:
http://www.twinstrangers.com/

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Not by bread alone

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, April 9, 2018, In : Humor 
Man cannot live by bread alone; he must have peanut butter.
-- James A. Garfield

Website 4 the day:
Improved dart board:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MHTizZ_XcUM

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Why "rush hour"?

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, April 9, 2018, In : Humor 
Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?
-- Robin Williams

Website 4 the day:
Share text across the same network:
http://copy-paste.online

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There is no "I"

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, April 9, 2018, In : Humor 
There's no "I" in denial.
-- Peter Serafinowicz 

Website 4 the day:
Learn Perl in 2.5 hours:
http://qntm.org/perl

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Odorless air fresheners

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, March 31, 2018, In : Humor 
I didn't buy the odorless air fresheners. They made no scents.

Website 4 the day:
Baby map:
http://neal.fun/baby-map/

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Two birds on a perch

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, March 26, 2018, In : Humor 
Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says “Do you smell fish?”

Website 4 the day:
Airbnb horror stories:
https://www.asherfergusson.com/airbnb/

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Talking on cellphones

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, March 26, 2018, In : Humor 
If god meant for people to talk into cellphones, he would've put our mouths on the side of our heads.
-- Devon Sampson

Website 4 the day:
Group locations:
https://karavanapp.org/

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No cactus expert

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, March 26, 2018, In : Humor 
I’m no cactus expert, but I know a prick when I see one.
-- Mark A. Cooper

Website 4 the day:
Adventures of Dr. Eval:
https://alexnisnevich.github.io/untrusted/

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How is this possible?

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, March 26, 2018, In : Humor 
How is it possible to have a civil war?
-- George Carlin

Website 4 the day:
Run a fictitious old Windows version:
https://www.windows93.net/

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Started with nothing

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, March 25, 2018, In : Humor 
I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
-- Seasick Steve

Website 4 the day:
Make your own comic strip:
http://stripcreator.com

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Gym refusal

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, March 16, 2018, In : Humor 
My boyfriend refused to go to the gym with me. I guess the two of us aren't going to work out.

Website 4 the day:
The Roominator:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CleTKq093sI

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The birds and bees

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, March 16, 2018, In : Humor 
What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife.
-- Rodney Dangerfield

Website 4 the day:
Transition to 100% renewable energy:
http://thesolutionsproject.org/

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Talking to yourself

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, March 16, 2018, In : Humor 
One advantage of talking to yourself is that you know at least somebody's listening.
-- Franklin P. Jones

Website 4 the day:
Asteroid database:
http://www.asterank.com/

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Belt of watches

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, March 11, 2018, In : Humor 
I once made a belt out of a lot of watches. It turned out to be a waist of time.

Website 4 the day:
Street views of Disneyland parks:
https://www.theverge.com/2018/3/6/17084348/google-maps-disneyland

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Two wrongs don't make a right

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, March 11, 2018, In : Humor 
Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse. 
-- Thomas Szasz

Website 4 the day:
Generate a fake name:
http://scrapgenerator.com/name/

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When you're in jail

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, March 11, 2018, In : Humor 
When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun.'
-- Groucho Marx

Website 4 the day:
How much is your domain name worth?
https://www.godaddy.com/domain-value-appraisal

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Hide and seek

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, February 24, 2018, In : Humor 
Leopards don't play hide and seek because they are always spotted.

Website 4 the day:
Where is Starman?
http://www.whereisroadster.com/index.html

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Whiskey diet

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, February 2, 2018, In : Humor 
I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already.

Website 4 the day:
Planetarium for your PC:
http://stellarium.org/en_GB/

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Not everyone an engineer

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, February 2, 2018, In : Humor 
We don't want everyone to be an engineer. The fashion crisis alone would be troubling.
-- Bill Nye

Website 4 the day:
Website security tester:
https://portswigger.net/

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Mime gang

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, February 2, 2018, In : Humor 
I was beaten up by a gang of mimes. They did unspeakable things to me.

Website 4 the day:
Anatomy:
http://teachmeanatomy.info/

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A rare thing

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, February 2, 2018, In : Humor 
Truth is such a rare thing it is delightful to tell it.
-- Emily Dickinson

Website 4 the day:
What is trending on Google:
https://trends.google.com/trends/

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Flying south for the winter

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, February 2, 2018, In : Humor 
Birds fly south for the winter because it is too far to walk.

Website 4 the day:
Find a site's backlinks:
http://www.backlinkwatch.com/

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The truth will set you free

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, February 2, 2018, In : Humor 
The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.
-- Joe Klaas

Website 4 the day:
Online tone generator:
http://onlinetonegenerator.com/

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Cole's Law

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, January 29, 2018, In : Humor 
Cole’s Law: Thinly Sliced Cabbage.

Website 4 the day:
Lego Antikythera Mechanism:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RLPVCJjTNgk

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A blind date

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, January 12, 2018, In : Humor 
My buddy set me up on a blind date & said, "Heads up, she's expecting a baby." Felt like an idiot sitting in the bar wearing just a diaper.

Website 4 the day:
Mark Twain's patented game:
http://timeonline.uoregon.edu/twain/index.php

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Restaurant at Sea World

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, January 12, 2018, In : Humor 
Sea World has a seafood restaurant. What do they server, slow learners?
-- Lynda Montgomery

Website 4 the day:
Birds'-eye view of New York City:
http://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2017/12/drone-photos-of-new-york-city.html

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Fettuccine Alfredo

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, January 12, 2018, In : Humor 
Fettuccine Alfredo is macaroni and cheese for adults.
-- Mitch Hedberg

Website 4 the day:
Make your own cryptocurrency:
https://coinlaunch.market/coincreator

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A in philosophy

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, January 12, 2018, In : Humor 
I got an A in philosophy because I proved that my professor didn't exist.
-- Judy Tenuta

Website 4 the day:
Cookbook programming examples:
http://pleac.sourceforge.net/

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Marriages made in Heaven

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, January 12, 2018, In : Humor 
They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.
-- Clint Eastwood

Website 4 the day:
Anonymous web surfing:
http://anonymouse.org/anonwww.html

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Police toilets

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, January 8, 2018, In : Humor 
Someone stole all the toilets in the police station and the officers have nothing to go on.

Website 4 the day:
Equation solver:
https://www.symbolab.com/solver

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Not an island

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, January 8, 2018, In : Humor 
No man is an island, so don't tie your boat to a guy.
-- Johnny Carson

Website 4 the day:
Free online PDF tools:
https://www.cleverpdf.com/

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When all else fails

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, January 8, 2018, In : Humor 
When all else fails, there is always self-delusion
-- Conan O'Brien

Website 4 the day:
Chat with a stranger:
http://Strangermeetup.Com

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Sense of superiority

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, January 8, 2018, In : Humor 
What a sense of superiority it gives one not to read a book that everybody else is reading.
-- Alice James

Website 4 the day:
Listen/vent to a stranger:
http://blahtherapy.com/chat-hub/

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Who you know

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, January 8, 2018, In : Humor 
It's not who you know. It's whom.
-- Reverend Peter Gomes

Website 4 the day:
Morse Code visual guide:
https://imgur.com/gallery/P9SoUiM

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Eating snails

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, January 6, 2018, In : Humor 
Why do the French eat snails? They don't like fast food.

Website 4 the day:
Every meeting ever:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K7agjXFFQJU

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Predatory criminals

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, January 6, 2018, In : Humor 
A criminal is a person with predatory instincts who lacks the capital to form a corporation.
-- Howard Scott

Website 4 the day:
How to package bubble wrap:
http://video.dailymail.co.uk/video/mol/2017/11/21/5271212558922528731/640x360_MP4_5271212558922528731.mp4

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Back to the land

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, January 6, 2018, In : Humor 
I'm not the type who wants to go back to the land. I'me the type who wants to go back to the hotel.
-- Fran Lebowitz

Website 4 the day:
Conference call "on hold" music:
https://soundcloud.com/alexcornell/im-on-hold-by-alex-cornell

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Sent a telegram

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, January 6, 2018, In : Humor 
I once sent a dozen friends a telegram saying "Flee at once - All is discovered." They all left town immediately.
-- Mark Twain

Website 4 the day:
The Magnus Effect:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2OSrvzNW9FE

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Two diets

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, January 6, 2018, In : Humor 
I had to go on two diets at once because one wasn't giving me enough food.
-- Barry Marter

Website 4 the day:
Underground cities:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YKUFtgcUlzY 

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A lifetime guarantee

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, December 15, 2017, In : Humor 
A friend's TV came with a lifetime guarantee. When the TV broke, they killed him.

Website 4 the day:
Marriage tweets:
https://imgur.com/gallery/Vv7RH

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Time is an illusion

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, December 15, 2017, In : Humor 
Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.
-- Douglas adams

Website 4 the day:
Well timed photos:
http://www.kickvick.com/perfectly-timed-photos

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List of the richest

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, December 15, 2017, In : Humor 
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.
-- Robert Orben

Website 4 the day:
Sync / backup drives:
https://www.2brightsparks.com/download-syncbackfree.html

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Got rich through hard work

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, December 15, 2017, In : Humor 
When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: 'Whose?'
-- Don Marquis

Website 4 the day:
Washington DC Landmarks:
https://digg.com/video/washington-dc-hyperlapse

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Fell into upholstery machine

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, December 15, 2017, In : Humor 
My uncle fell into an upholstery machine. He's fully recovered now.

Website 4 the day:
Electro-Boom:
https://www.youtube.com/user/msadaghd

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All the money I need

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, December 15, 2017, In : Humor 
I've got all the money I'll ever need, if I die by four o'clock.
-- Henny Youngman

Website 4 the day:
Build a custom Linux:
http://www.instalinux.com/

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Better marriages

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, December 15, 2017, In : Humor 
Many marriages would be better if the husband and wife clearly understood that they're on the same side.
-- Zig Ziglar

Website 4 the day:
Free online classes:
https://outschool.com/

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Eating animals

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, December 15, 2017, In : Humor 
If we're not supposed to eat animals, how come they're made out of meat?
-- Tom Snyder

Website 4 the day:
Planetary motions and Homer Simpson:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QVuU2YCwHjw

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Help you move

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, December 15, 2017, In : Humor 
An old friend will help you move. A good friend will help you move a dead body.
-- Jim Hayes

Website 4 the day:
What countries are best at:
https://static.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/international-number-ones-statistics-world-map-2016-original.jpg

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A cheap taser

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, December 15, 2017, In : Humor 
When I bought a cheap taser on the internet and it turned out to be broken, no one was shocked.

Website 4 the day:
Walk on Mars:
http://www.deccanchronicle.com/technology/in-other-news/231017/google-now-lets-you-take-a-walk-on-mars-from-your-smartphone.html

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Retirement problem

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, December 15, 2017, In : Humor 
The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off
-- Abe Lemons

Website 4 the day:
Pet handouts:
http://www.ddfl.org/resources-publications/pet-behavior-handouts/

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Funny as a child

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, December 15, 2017, In : Humor 
People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, no, I was an accountant.
-- Ellen DeGeneres

Website 4 the day:
JFK assassination collection:
https://www.archives.gov/research/jfk/background

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Power corrupts

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, December 15, 2017, In : Humor 
All power corrupts, but we need electricity.
-- Diana Wynne Jones

Website 4 the day:
Framework to scrape websites:
https://scrapy.org/

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A wonderful thing

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, December 15, 2017, In : Humor 
Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again
-- Franklin Jones

Website 4 the day:
Free movies:
https://tubitv.com/

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Fish and vistors

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, December 15, 2017, In : Humor 
Fish and visitors stink after three days.
-- Ben Franklin

Website 4 the day:
Build a better mousetrap: 
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLQv9MGcwQg4vvbdVw61mx-XMyhsq9EgmR

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Drug dealer shoes

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, December 6, 2017, In : Humor 
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day.

Website 4 the day:
Make music:
https://lmms.io/

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Cloning

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, December 6, 2017, In : Humor 
We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins.
-- Robin Williams

Website 4 the day:
Wiki entries near you:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Nearby

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Don't eat health food

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, December 6, 2017, In : Humor 
Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.
-- Robert Orben

Website 4 the day:
Online HTML editor:
https://html-online.com/editor/

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Housekeeping

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, December 6, 2017, In : Humor 
He taught me housekeeping; when I divorce I keep the house.
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor

Website 4 the day:
Universal document converter:
https://pandoc.org/

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Avoiding temptation

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, December 6, 2017, In : Humor 
Do not worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older it will avoid you.
-- Joey Adams

Website 4 the day:
What is contemporary art?
https://www.google.com/culturalinstitute/beta/u/0/project/contemporary-art

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Trash collector work

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, December 6, 2017, In : Humor 
When I started work as a trash collector, there was no training. I just picked it up as I went along.

Website 4 the day:
Weight of the internet:
http://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/pictofact/9/4/6/608946_v1.jpg

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Love interests

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, December 6, 2017, In : Humor 
I have a love interest in every one of my films: a gun.
-- Arnold Schwarzenegger

Website 4 the day:
Make an avatar:
http://www.theavatarmaker.com/

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Behind every great man

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, December 6, 2017, In : Humor 
Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.
-- Jim Carrey

Website 4 the day:
Create bibliographies:
http://www.bibme.org/

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What's the correct age?

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, December 6, 2017, In : Humor 
At what age do you think it's appropriate to tell a highway it's adopted?
-- Zach Galifianakis

Website 4 the day:
Free mind-mapping:
https://sourceforge.net/projects/freeplane/

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Cross country skiing

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, December 5, 2017, In : Humor 
Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.
-- Steven Wright

Website 4 the day:
Excel art:
http://digg.com/video/excel-artist

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Buying stock

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, December 5, 2017, In : Humor 
A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, "At my age, I don't even buy green bananas."
-- Claude Pepper

Website 4 the day:
Free video calls:
https://imo.im/

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Life needs

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, December 3, 2017, In : Humor 
My life needs editing.
 -- Mort Sahl

Website 4 the day:
Meme generator:
https://memegenerator.net/

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Bicycling behind a bus

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, November 20, 2017, In : Humor 
After bicycling behind a bus, I became exhausted.

Website 4 the day:
Comedy wildlife photos:
https://www.comedywildlifephoto.com/gallery/2017_finalists.php

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Checkers vs. chess

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, November 20, 2017, In : Humor 
Checkers is safer to play than chess because in checkers you can't fall asleep and get a king stuck in your eye.
-- Jim Loy

Website 4 the day:
Useful Latin?
http://web.mit.edu/afs/athena.mit.edu/user/d/r/dryfoo/www/Funny-pages/handy-latin.html

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School I attended

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, November 20, 2017, In : Humor 
I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.
-- Woody Allen

Website 4 the day:
Check your website's links:
https://wummel.github.io/linkchecker/

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Christmastime

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, November 20, 2017, In : Humor 
Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered.
-- Phyllis Diller

Website 4 the day:
AI-assisted landing page designs:
https://firedrop.ai/

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A trapped boy

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, November 20, 2017, In : Humor 
I used to be a boy trapped in a woman's body. But after 9 long months, I was finally born!

Website 4 the day:
Classic Science Fiction:
http://www.voidspace.org.uk/library/classic_scifi.shtml

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Come on over

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, November 20, 2017, In : Humor 
A girl phoned me the other day and said… ‘Come on over, there’s nobody home.’ I went over. Nobody was home.
-- Rodney Dangerfield

Website 4 the day:
Create a wireframe:
http://quirktools.com/wires/

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A long time

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, November 20, 2017, In : Humor 
Eternity is a very long time, especially towards the end.
-- Woody Allen

Website 4 the day:
DefCon tools:
https://www.defcon.org/html/links/dc-tools.html

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Reversible jackets

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, November 13, 2017, In : Humor 
Did you hear about these new reversible jackets? I'm excited to see how they turn out.

Website 4 the day:
Where did that word come from?
http://www.etymonline.com/

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Getting on a plane

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, November 13, 2017, In : Humor 
Getting on a plane, I told the ticket lady, ‘Send one of my bags to New York, send one to Los Angeles, and send one to Miami.’ She said, ‘We can’t do that!’ I told her, ‘You did it last week!’”
-- Henny Youngman

Website 4 the day:
Cryptographic proof of a file's existence:
https://proofofexistence.com/

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Get back my youth

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, November 13, 2017, In : Humor 
To get back my youth I would do anything in the world, except take exercise, get up early, or be respectable.
-- Oscar Wilde

Website 4 the day:
Life Saver lightning:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=tW8q_JfmcbU

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Back covered in lard

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, November 7, 2017, In : Humor 
About a month before he died, my uncle had his back covered in lard. After that, he went down hill fast.

Website 4 the day:
Black on the Air:
http://feeds.feedburner.com/LarryWilmoreBlackOnTheAir

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Illegal immigrants

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, November 7, 2017, In : Humor 
They say there are about 12 million illegal immigrants in this country, but if you ask a native American, that number is more like 300 million.
-- David Letterman

Website 4 the day:
100+ HTML templates:
https://themefisher.com/best-free-html5-templates/

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A drinking problem

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, November 7, 2017, In : Humor 
You know you have a drinking problem when the bartender knows your name… and you’ve never been to that bar before.
-- Zach Galifianakis

Website 4 the day:
Securely share files:
https://onionshare.org/

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Key to happiness

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, November 7, 2017, In : Humor 
People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.
-- Joan Rivers

Website 4 the day:
Personal recycling:
https://preciousplastic.com/en/videos/intro.html

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Useless eBay

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, October 23, 2017, In : Humor 
eBay is so useless. I tried to look up lighters and all they had was 13,749 matches.

Website 4 the day:
Does it fart?
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/19gMMn4Wmw3BNLWMojEy7kgrjnjVB2JlMSwd1s-nYyUc/edit#gid=0

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Everyone hates me

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, October 23, 2017, In : Humor 
I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous—everyone hasn’t met me yet.
-- Rodney Dangerfield

Website 4 the day:
Android apps on PCs:
https://www.bignox.com/

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Dipolmacy

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, October 23, 2017, In : Humor 
A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age.
-- Robert Frost

Website 4 the day:
AI blog:
https://dzone.com/artificial-intelligence-tutorials-tools-news

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Beautiful words

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, October 23, 2017, In : Humor 
The four most beautiful words in our common language? I told you so.
-- Gore Vidal

Website 4 the day:
Google Now commands:
https://www.maketecheasier.com/secret-google-now-commands/

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Little gowns

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, October 23, 2017, In : Humor 
As soon as the hospital made me put on one of those little gowns, I knew the end was in sight.

Website 4 the day:
Cat kaleidoscope:
http://catleidoscope.sergethew.com/

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Death and taxes

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, October 23, 2017, In : Humor 
The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets.
-- Will Rogers

Website 4 the day:
Washington Post's Trump archive:
https://www.washingtonpost.com/graphics/politics/trump-revealed-book-reporting-archive/

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A sleepwalking nun

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, October 14, 2017, In : Humor 
What do you call a sleepwalking nun? A roamin' Catholic.

Website 4 the day:
E-mail in real life: 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HTgYHHKs0Zw

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Parked hospital bed

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, October 14, 2017, In : Humor 
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
-- Groucho Marx

Website 4 the day:
Jumping into a field of mouse traps:
https://www.cnet.com/news/1000-mousetraps-dive-trampoline-slow-mo-guys-you-tube/

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A valued customer

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, October 14, 2017, In : Humor 
They said I was a valued customer, now they send me hate mail.
-- Sophie Kinsella

Website 4 the day:
Compelling first lines:
http://landofmaps.com/2016/06/16/the-first-lines-of-some-of-the-most-iconic-books-ever-written

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Enduring adversity

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, October 14, 2017, In : Humor 
By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity – another man’s, I mean.
-- Mark Twain

Website 4 the day:
The economy:
http://www.core-econ.org/the-economy/book/text/0-3-contents.html

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Hated driving

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, September 28, 2017, In : Humor 
Heisenberg hated driving because every time he looked at the speedometer, he'd get lost.

Website 4 the day:
Can you spot the fakes:
https://warwickpsych.eu.qualtrics.com/SE/?SID=SV_a34DwCbDSlcGgiF&Q_JFE=0

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One day at a time

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, September 28, 2017, In : Humor 
When people go through something rough in life, they say, “I’m taking it one day at a time.” Yes, so is everybody. Because that’s how time works.
-- Hannibal Buress

Website 4 the day:
Your webpage on different browsers:
http://browsershots.org/

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Against picketing

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, September 28, 2017, In : Humor 
I’m against picketing, but I don’t know how to show it.
-- Mitch Hedberg

Website 4 the day:
Repeat a Youtube video:
https://listenonrepeat.com/

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The smell of books

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, September 28, 2017, In : Humor 
If people say they just love the smell of books, I always want to pull them aside and ask, To be clear, do you know how reading works?
-- Bridger Winegar

Website 4 the day:
Rare aircraft films:
https://www.youtube.com/user/DrydenTV/playlists

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Perfection

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, September 28, 2017, In : Humor 
The closest a person ever comes to perfection is when he fills out a job application form.
-- Stanley Randall

Website 4 the day:
Web based circuit simulator:
http://www.falstad.com/circuit/circuitjs.html

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The other side

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, September 27, 2017, In : Humor 
To get to the other side. Why did the tachyon cross the road?

Website 4 the day:
Odd weather reports:
https://www.weatherfrom.com

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Word to the wise

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, September 27, 2017, In : Humor 
A word to the wise is infuriating.
-- Hunter S. Thompson

Website 4 the day:
Types of civilizations:
https://futurism.com/images/kardashev-scale-the-kinds-of-alien-civilizations-in-our-universe/

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Organized political party

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, September 27, 2017, In : Humor 
I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat.
-- Will Rogers

Website 4 the day:
Lithium ion batteries dangerous when punctured:
https://digg.com/2017/hydraulic-press-battery-pack

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A Wonderful Organ

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, September 26, 2017, In : Humor 
The brain is a wonderful organ, it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.
-- Robert Frost

Website 4 the day:
3D from your smartphone camera:
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Comparison_of_photogrammetry_software

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I had potential

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, September 25, 2017, In : Humor 
My physics professor said I had potential. Then he pushed me off a building.

Website 4 the day:
Welcome to the future:
http://www.futuretimeline.net/

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Happiness

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, September 25, 2017, In : Humor 
Money can't buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it.
-- David Lee Roth

Website 4 the day:
The only knot you need:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TfpzRE9sgRY

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List of things

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, September 25, 2017, In : Humor 
Everyone should write a list of things they ought to do before they die ... their oughtobiography.

Website 4 the day:
Museum of unworkable devices:
http://www.lhup.edu/~dsimanek/museum/unwork.htm

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Another word

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, September 4, 2017, In : Humor 
What's another word for Thesaurus?
-- Steven Wright

Website 4 the day:
Most expensive Google Adwords:
https://www.inc.com/larry-kim/these-are-the-10-most-expensive-google-keywords.html

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Long walks

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, September 4, 2017, In : Humor 
I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
-- Fred Allen

Website 4 the day:
Recognizing pictured dishes:
http://www.vision.ee.ethz.ch/datasets_extra/food-101/

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Diet's 2nd day

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, September 4, 2017, In : Humor 
The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day, you’re off it.
-- Jackie Gleason

Website 4 the day:
Robot lights:
www.treehugger.com/sustainable-product-design/reactive-solar-powered-lights-species-illumination-bob-de-graaf.html

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Smoking an e-cigarette

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, September 4, 2017, In : Humor 
Accidentally fell asleep smoking an e-cigarette and when I woke up my whole house was on the internet.

Website 4 the day:
Domino row building machine:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N1-wU9NgsV4

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Divorce

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, September 4, 2017, In : Humor 
My cross-eyed wife and I just got a divorce. I also found out she was seeing someone on the side.

Website 4 the day:
Rock music:
https://vimeo.com/208067675

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A balanced diet

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, September 4, 2017, In : Humor 
My idea of a balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

Website 4 the day:
Turbo encapulator:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ac7G7xOG2Ag

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New cliches

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, August 14, 2017, In : Humor 
What we need are new cliches.
-- Samuel Goldwyn

Website 4 the day:
Unfold a building:
https://vimeo.com/193884074

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Tax code

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, August 14, 2017, In : Humor 
The tax code is ten times bigger than the Bible without the good news.
-- Dave Camp

Website 4 the day:
Moon landing video:
http://sploid.gizmodo.com/this-beautiful-short-film-recreates-the-moon-landing-us-1795928746

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Helpful earthquakes

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, August 14, 2017, In : Humor 
Earthquakes are helpful if you are bowling.
-- Henry Cho

Website 4 the day:
Make your own GIFs: 
http://www.popsci.com/gifs-made-easy

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Committee meetings

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, August 14, 2017, In : Humor 
Overexposure to committee meetings can lead to a staff infection.
-- Dr. Mardy Grothe

Website 4 the day:
Ransomware protection:
https://ransomfree.cybereason.com/

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Vegetarian

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, August 14, 2017, In : Humor 
"Vegetarian" is an old Indian word meaning "lousy hunter."
-- Andy Rooney

Website 4 the day:
Founding Fathers and religion:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jeff-schweitzer/founding-fathers-we-are-n_b_6761840.html

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16th birthday surprise

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, August 14, 2017, In : Humor 
On my sixteenth birthday, my parents tried to surprise me with a car, but they missed.
-- Tom Cotter

Website 4 the day:
USPS dropbox and mailbox locator:
http://www.payphone-project.com/usps-mailboxes/index.html

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U.S. Taxes

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, August 14, 2017, In : Humor 
I am proud to be paying taxes in the United States, but I would be just as proud for half the money.
-- Arthur Godfrey

Website 4 the day:
Build a Chrome extension:
https://www.codebite.pk/wp-content/cache/all/create-chrome-extension/index.html

Continue reading ...
 

A revolving door

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, August 14, 2017, In : Humor 
I knew a couple who met in a revolving door. I think they're still going round together.

Website 4 the day:
Amazon's warehouse robots:
http://www.chonday.com/Videos/how-the-amazon-warehouse-works

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Ben Hur, the cat

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, August 14, 2017, In : Humor 
We have a cat named Ben Hur. We called it Ben until it had kittens.
-- Sally Poplin

Website 4 the day:
15 useful Windows command line commands:
http://www.makeuseof.com/tag/15-cmd-commands-every-windows-user-know/

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TV for sale

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, August 13, 2017, In : Humor 
I saw an advert that read: "Television for sale, $1, volume stuck on full" I thought to myself, I can't turn that down.

Website 4 the day:
LEGO breakfast:
http://digg.com/video/lego-stop-motion-breakfast

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Original theory of relativity

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, July 30, 2017, In : Humor 
Einstein's original theory of relativity is that time slows down when you are with relatives.
-- Garrison Keillor

Website 4 the day:
Oldest multicolor book:
https://cudl.lib.cam.ac.uk/view/PR-FH-00910-00083-00098/1

Continue reading ...
 

Opportunity

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, July 30, 2017, In : Humor 
A window of opportunity for me usually involves a rock.
-- Jay London

Website 4 the day:
Ransomware protection:
https://ransomfree.cybereason.com/

Continue reading ...
 

Billiards

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, July 30, 2017, In : Humor 
The game of billiards has destroyed my naturally sweet disposition.
-- Mark Twain

Website 4 the day:
Live virtually forever:
http://eterni.me/

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Refused to eat

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, July 30, 2017, In : Humor 
In general, my children refused to eat anything that hadn't danced on TV.
-- Erma Bombeck

Website 4 the day:
Easy woodworking plans:
http://build-basic.com/

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Watch for children

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, July 30, 2017, In : Humor 
I saw a sign that said: "Watch for children" and thought is sounded like a fair trade.

Website 4 the day:
Hamster self-portrait:
https://vimeo.com/173067576

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Ban pit pull breeding

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, July 30, 2017, In : Humor 
Britain plans to ban the breeding of pit bulls. It's hard enough to put a muzzle on a pit bull; lots of luck with those condoms.
-- Jay Leno.

Website 4 the day:
Robot room:
https://www.orisystems.com/

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A man's heart

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, July 30, 2017, In : Humor 
The way to a man's heart is through is aorta.
-- Jerome Manheim, MD

Website 4 the day:
Free handwriting fonts:
http://www.creativebloq.com/features/8-free-handwriting-fonts-for-2017

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An attractive spouse

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, July 30, 2017, In : Humor 
Your spouse should be just attractive enough to turn you on. Anything more is trouble.
-- Albert Brooks

Website 4 the day:
No more ransomware:
https://www.nomoreransom.org/

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Good friend of letters

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, July 30, 2017, In : Humor 
I’m very good friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know why.

Website 4 the day:
Homemade waterjet:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lg__B6Ca3jc

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Blind dates

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, July 17, 2017, In : Humor 
I've been on so many blind dates I should get a free dog.
-- Wendy Liebman

Website 4 the day:
Tie one (or more) on:
https://www.fieggen.com/shoelace/lacingmethods.htm

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Musical talent

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, July 17, 2017, In : Humor 
My musical talent s less God-given than taketh away.
-- Steve Rubenstein

Website 4 the day:
Old software versions:
http://www.oldversion.com/

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Lady of Spain

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, July 17, 2017, In : Humor 
Accordions don't play "Lady of Spain," people do.
-- Herb Caen

Website 4 the day:
Age estimate from photos:
https://how-old.net/

Continue reading ...
 

Flowers and age

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, July 17, 2017, In : Humor 
At my age, flowers scare me.
-- George Burns

Website 4 the day:
Search for animated GIFs:
https://gfycat.com

Continue reading ...
 

Ground beef

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, July 17, 2017, In : Humor 
Ground beef: a cow with no legs.

Website 4 the day:
Fake news?
http://factitious.augamestudio.com/#/

Continue reading ...
 

Two doors for chickens

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, July 17, 2017, In : Humor 
A chicken coop only has two doors because if it had four it would be a sedan.

Website 4 the day:
Create your purr:
https://purrli.com/

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Miserly relatives

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, July 5, 2017, In : Humor 
Misers make wonderful ancestors.
-- David Brenner

Website 4 the day:
Short by District 9's director:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VjQ2t_yNHQs

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They laughed

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, July 5, 2017, In : Humor 
They laughed when I said I wanted to be a comedian. Well, they're not laughing now.
-- Steve Altman

Website 4 the day:
Watch blocked Youtube videos:
https://www.proxfree.com/youtube-proxy.php

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Fashion

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, July 5, 2017, In : Humor 
Fashion is something that goes in one year and out the other.

Website 4 the day:
Spy Museum online:
https://www.spymuseum.org/about/virtual-tour/

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Wormlike creatures

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, July 5, 2017, In : Humor 
All modern men are descended from wormlike creatures, but it shows more on some people.
-- Will Cuppy

Website 4 the day:
Oriental Institute Museum online:
http://www.nwhm.org/online-exhibits/

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Prison van collision

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, July 5, 2017, In : Humor 
A concrete truck has collided with a prison van. Motorists should watch for hardened criminals.
-- Ronnie Corbett

Website 4 the day:
National Women's History Museum online:
http://www.nwhm.org/online-exhibits/

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Insects take over the world

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, July 5, 2017, In : Humor 
When insects take over the world, I hope they remember how we used to take them along on picnics.
-- Bill Vaughan

Website 4 the day:
Le Louvre online:
http://www.louvre.fr/en/visites-en-ligne#tabs

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Left to her cat

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, July 5, 2017, In : Humor 
A friend of mine left $15,000 to her cat. Today that cat is broke.
-- Ann Landers

Website 4 the day:
Hamster self-portrait:
https://vimeo.com/173067576

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Hard work deaths

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, July 4, 2017, In : Humor 
Hard work never killed anybody who supervised it.
-- Harry C. Bauer

Website 4 the day:
Free recycling:
https://www.freecycle.org

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Morse code knowledge

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, July 4, 2017, In : Humor 
If you know Morse code, tap dancers drive you crazy.
-- Mitch Hedberg

Website 4 the day:
Compare book prices:
http://www.directtextbook.com

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Two people types

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, July 2, 2017, In : Humor 
There are two types of people: those who need closure

Website 4 the day:
Typewriter simulator:
http://uniqcode.com/typewriter/

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If the shoe fits

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, June 29, 2017, In : Humor 
If the shoe fits, it's too expensive
-- Adrienne Gusoff

Website 4 the day:
Our nation in numbers:
http://usafacts.org/

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Not getting married again

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, June 26, 2017, In : Humor 
Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and just give her a house.
-- Rod Stewart

Website 4 the day:
Music on disk drives:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ox3EohATwGg

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Salt water fish

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, June 25, 2017, In : Humor 
Fish live in salt water because pepper water makes them sneeze.

Website 4 the day:
Japanese Rube Goldberg machine and story:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=trDnp3dWlXk

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Never boils

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, June 22, 2017, In : Humor 
A watched pot never boils, but it does get paranoid.
-- Lesley Wake

Website 4 the day:
Ad-free surfing:
http://www.slimjet.com/

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Hair highlights

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, June 22, 2017, In : Humor 
I got my hair highlighted because I thought some strands were more important than others.
-- Mitch Hedberg

Website 4 the day:
Compelling first lines:
http://landofmaps.com/2016/06/16/the-first-lines-of-some-of-the-most-iconic-books-ever-written

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A filing cabinet

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, June 21, 2017, In : Humor 
A filing cabinet is a place where you can lose things systematically.
-- T. H. Thompson

Website 4 the day:
Japanese Rube Goldberg machine and story:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=trDnp3dWlXk

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Fish in salt water

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, June 19, 2017, In : Humor 
Fish live in salt water because pepper water makes them sneeze.

Website 4 the day:
Original Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy animated:
https://digg.com/video/animated-hitchhikers-guide-galaxy

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Advantage of the telephone

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, June 17, 2017, In : Humor 
The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer them a drink.
-- Fran Lebowitz

Website 4 the day:
Sketch to cat "photo":
https://affinelayer.com/pixsrv/index.html

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My own little world

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, June 16, 2017, In : Humor 
I live in my own little world. But its ok, they know me here.
-- Lauren Myracle

Website 4 the day:
Couch surfing:
https://www.couchsurfing.com/

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Hard to laugh at yourself

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, June 15, 2017, In : Humor 
If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.
-- Groucho Marx

Website 4 the day:
Sketch to portrait:
http://fotogenerator.npocloud.nl/

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Red sky at night

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, June 13, 2017, In : Humor 
Red sky at night, shepherd’s delight. Blue sky at night, day.
-- Tom Parry

Website 4 the day:
Wolves in Yellowstone:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ysa5OBhXz-Q

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Artist arrested

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, June 11, 2017, In : Humor 
A courtroom artist was arrested today for an unknown reason... details are sketchy.

Website 4 the day:
Stalin's Soviet Union:
https://www.rferl.org/a/the-manhoff-archive/28359558.html

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No prom for a ghost

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, May 29, 2017, In : Humor 
The ghost didn't go to prom because he had no body to dance with.

Website 4 the day:
Making a chicken sandwich:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=URvWSsAgtJE

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Like this book

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, May 29, 2017, In : Humor 
For the sort of people who like this book, it is the sort of book those people will like.
-- Abraham Lincoln

Website 4 the day:
Trump news:
https://presterity.org/

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All of a person's veins and arteries

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, May 29, 2017, In : Humor 
If you removed all of a person's veins and arteries and laid them end to end, then that person will die.
-- Neil deGrasse Tyson

Website 4 the day:
How to climb a rope:
http://www.artofmanliness.com/2017/01/13/3-ways-climb-rope/

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Girlfriend's instruction

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, May 29, 2017, In : Humor 
My girlfriend told me to go out and get something that makes her look sexy, so I got drunk.

Website 4 the day:
Youtube tricks:
http://jnanweb.com/2016/02/29/youtube-tricks

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Eat a live frog

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, May 15, 2017, In : Humor 
Eat a live frog every morning, and nothing worse will happen to yu the rest of the day.
-- Mark Twain

Website 4 the day:
Best way to tie your shoe laces:
https://www.bloomberg.com/news/features/2015-11-12/how-to-tie-your-shoes-and-lace-your-shoes-the-best-way

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Clown attack

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, May 15, 2017, In : Humor 
If attacked by a clown mob, go for the juggler.

Website 4 the day:
A truly random website:
https://www.random.org/

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Seeing people you know

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, May 15, 2017, In : Humor 
The only problem with seeing people you know is that they know you.
-- Brent Runyon

Website 4 the day:
Open source game library:
http://flixel.org/

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Stepladders

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, May 15, 2017, In : Humor 
I have a stepladder, because my real ladder left when I was a kid.

Website 4 the day:
Doodle:
http://kleki.com/

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Photon without luggage

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, April 13, 2017, In : Humor 
A photon never carries luggage because it is traveling light.

Website 4 the day:
Slinky seismometer:
http://www.kjmagnetics.com/blog.asp?p=seismometer-2

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Solipsisticly speaking

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, April 13, 2017, In : Humor 
Is it solipsistic in here, or is it just me?

Website 4 the day:
Cardboard card sorter:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ILHtAPY29I

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Filling a mall

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, April 13, 2017, In : Humor 
To fill a mall with shoppers takes a whole lot of cars.

Website 4 the day:
Alter faces:
http://www.theverge.com/2017/2/15/14621902/face-altering-app-faceapp-neural-network-android

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Dominate a dinner-table

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, April 13, 2017, In : Humor 
The man who can dominate a London dinner-table can dominate the world.
-- Oscar Wilde

Website 4 the day:
Met Museum releases 375,000 images:
https://www.cnet.com/news/met-museum-free-images-creative-commons/

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Always in love

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, April 13, 2017, In : Humor 
One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry.
-- Oscar Wilde

Website 4 the day:
Share a screenshot:
http://jetscreenshot.com/

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What do we want?

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, April 13, 2017, In : Humor 
What do we want: A time machine.
When do we want it? Doesn't matter.
-- Neil deGrasse Tyson

Website 4 the day:
Share mouse and keyboard across four WIndows 10 PCs:
https://www.microsoft.com/en-us/download/details.aspx?id=35460

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Accused of plagiarism

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, April 13, 2017, In : Humor 
My teacher accused me of plagiarism. His words, not mine.

Website 4 the day:
Learn to design DNA:
http://synthhttp://syntheticbiology1.com/ticbiology1.com/

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Like a sewer

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, March 22, 2017, In : Humor 
Life is like a sewer. What you get out of it depends on what you put into it.
-- Tom Lehrer

Website 4 the day:
Inside an internal combustion cylinder:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jdW1t8r8qYc

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Most beautiful words

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, March 21, 2017, In : Humor 
The four most beautiful words in our common language: I told you so.
-- Gore Vidal

Website 4 the day:
Quote investigator:
http://quoteinvestigator.com/

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Pass on advice

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, March 21, 2017, In : Humor 
I always pass on good advice. It is the only thing to do with it. It is never of any use to oneself.
-- Oscar Wilde

Website 4 the day:
Communicate privately:
https://www.wickr.com/personal

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The difference

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, March 21, 2017, In : Humor 
What's the difference between deer nuts and beer nuts? A bag of beer nuts cost $2 but deer nuts are under a buck.

Website 4 the day:
Japanese museum of rock faces:
http://www.thisiscolossal.com/2016/11/the-japanese-museum-of-rocks-that-look-like-faces/

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Couples at the gym

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, March 21, 2017, In : Humor 
Some couples don't go to the gym because not all relationships work out.

Website 4 the day:
Garage inventor:
http://www.colinfurze.com/

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Behind failures

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, March 21, 2017, In : Humor 
Behind every failure is an opportunity somebody wishes they had missed.
-- Lily Tomlin

Website 4 the day:
SXSW music archive:
http://www.sxswtorrent.com/

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20%

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, March 21, 2017, In : Humor 
One fifth of people are two tense.

Website 4 the day:
Candy sorting machine:
https://willemm.nl/mm-skittles-sorting-machine/

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Chicken coop's doors

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, March 11, 2017, In : Humor 
Why does a chicken coop have two doors? Because if it had four doors it would be a chicken sedan.

Website 4 the day:
Create your own executive order:
https://www.cnet.com/news/trump-executive-order-generator-online/

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Looking back

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, March 11, 2017, In : Humor 
Lot's wife looked back at Sodom and was turned into a pillar of salt.
My mom looked back once while she was driving, She turned into a telephone pole!

Website 4 the day:
Pictures defy logic:
http://www.albasun.com/2015/02/18-images-that-contradict-to-any-logic.html

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The gift of procrastination

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 17, 2017, In : Humor 
Procrastination gives you something to look forward to.
-- Joan Konner

Website 4 the day:
Chainsaw art:
http://www.wickedreport.com/awesome-wooden-art

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An expert

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 17, 2017, In : Humor 
An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field.
-- Niels Bohr

Website 4 the day:
Improve your productivity
http://www.inc.com/jeff-haden/first-90-days-90-ways-to-boost-your-productivity.html

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Two kinds of people

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 17, 2017, In : Humor 
There are two kinds of people. You're not one of them.
-- Bruce Erik Kaplan

Website 4 the day:
Distorted button effects:
http://tympanus.net/Development/DistortedButtonEffects

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The book-writing profession

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 17, 2017, In : Humor 
The profession of book-writing makes horse racing seem like a solid, stable business.
-- John Steinbeck

Website 4 the day:
Bash by examples:
http://www.linuxintro.org/wiki/BaBE

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Similar sheep

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 17, 2017, In : Humor 
By shear coincidence, all these sheep look the same.

Website 4 the day:
Maze algorithms
http://www.jamisbuck.org/mazes

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A national pastime

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 17, 2017, In : Humor 
Not reading poetry amounts to a national pastime in America.
Phyllis McGinley

Website 4 the day:
Private web searching:
http://startpage.com/do/mypage.pl

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Not getting what we pay for

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 17, 2017, In : Humor 
Thank heavens we don't get all the government we pay for.
-- Will Rogers

Website 4 the day:
The purpose of life is to live forever:
https://arxiv.org/pdf/1506.05869v2.pdf

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Quit looking for work

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 17, 2017, In : Humor 
A lot of people quit looking for work as soon as they get a job.
-- Zig Ziglar

Website 4 the day:
Build a Van de Graaff generator:
http://rimstar.org/equip/build_make_van_de_graaff.htm

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Consider jogging

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 17, 2017, In : Humor 
I'll consider jogging if I ever see a jogger smiling.
-- Joan Rivers

Website 4 the day:
Regular expressions cheat sheet:
http://www.cheatography.com/davechild/cheat-sheets/regular-expressions

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There was no Ritalin

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 17, 2017, In : Humor 
When I was in school, there was no Ritalin for attention deficit disorder, just a big nun with a ruler.
-- Maureen Dowd

Website 4 the day:
free resume templates:
http://blog.spoongraphics.co.uk/articles/20-free-editable-cvresume-templates-for-ps-ai

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Optimistic devil

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 17, 2017, In : Humor 
The devil is an optimist if he thinks he can make people worse than they are.
-- Karl Kraus

Website 4 the day:
Earth alerts:
http://earthalerts.manyjourneys.com/web

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Can't be an athlete

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 17, 2017, In : Humor 
If you can't be an athlete, be an athletic supporter.

Website 4 the day:
Live action Futurama:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f-1RMKdWz8M

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Never seen headline

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 17, 2017, In : Humor 
Here's a headline you never see: “Psychic Wins Lottery.”
-- Dennis Miller

Website 4 the day:
Graph book occurrences over time:
https://books.google.com/ngrams/

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Computers and tattoos

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 17, 2017, In : Humor 
Computers are everywhere. Now tattoo parlors have to spell check.
-- Jay Leno

Website 4 the day:
US immigration history:
metrocosm.com/us-immigration-history-map.html

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Ex-heavy gambler

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 17, 2017, In : Humor 
I used to be a heavy gambler, now I just make mental bets. That's how I lost my mind.
-- Steve Allen

Website 4 the day:
Make a musical instrument:
http://www.cigarboxnation.com/page/free-plans

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Staying longer

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 17, 2017, In : Humor 
Some people can stay longer in an hour than others can in a week.
-- William Dean Howells

Website 4 the day:
Learn Java programming:
https://www.simplilearn.com/resources-to-learn-java-programming-article

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New York City for my health

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 17, 2017, In : Humor 
I moved to New York City for my health. I'm paranoid and it was the only placed where my fears where justified.
-- Anita Weiss

Website 4 the day:
Facebook site for messages only:
https://www.messenger.com/

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Americans like travel

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 17, 2017, In : Humor 
Americans have always liked travel, that being how we got here in the first place.
-- Otto Friedrich

Website 4 the day:
Periodic table of fictional elements:
https://www.buymetalonline.co.uk/images/fictional_minerals.jpg

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An archaeologist's life

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 17, 2017, In : Humor 
A friend is an archaeologist. His life is in ruins.

Website 4 the day:
Bioengineered pet spoof:
http://www.genpets.com/

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Horse sense

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 17, 2017, In : Humor 
Horse sense is what keeps horses from betting on people.
W. C. Fields

Website 4 the day:
Delete Amazon Echo and Google Home recordings:
http://bgr.com/2016/12/30/how-to-delete-amazon-echo/

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Soft head correlation

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 17, 2017, In : Humor 
The softer a man's head, the louder his socks.
-- Helen Rowland

Website 4 the day:
Paper V8:
http://www.popularmechanics.com/cars/a24561/make-your-own-tiny-paper-v8-engine-with-these-plans/

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Hot music

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 17, 2017, In : Humor 
The hot music now is a combination of country and rap. It's call crap.
-- Bud E. Luv

Website 4 the day:
Free first aid training:
http://www.firstaidforfree.com/

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Sweet revenge

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 17, 2017, In : Humor 
Revenge is sweet and not fattening.
-- Alfred Hitchcock

Website 4 the day:
Reheat pasta for health:
http://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-29629761

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Speaking Esperanto

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 17, 2017, In : Humor 
I speak Esperanto like a native.
-- Spike Milligan

Website 4 the day:
Unlock your mind:
http://thegeniusdeck.com/

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Lock picking advantage

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 17, 2017, In : Humor 
Knowing how to pick locks has really opened a lot of doors for me.

Website 4 the day:
You can't see this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0NPH_udOOek

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Nutrition and potato chips

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 17, 2017, In : Humor 
Chips have little nutritional value. That’s why you need to eat the whole bag.
-- Bill Murray

Website 4 the day:
OpenBSD release songs:
http://www.openbsd.org/lyrics.html

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Photo of a wheat field

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 17, 2017, In : Humor 
I took a photo of a wheat field. It came out grainy.

Website 4 the day:
Review charities:
http://www.charitynavigator.org/

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Sleeping comes naturally

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 17, 2017, In : Humor 
Sleeping comes naturally to me. I can do it with my eyes closed.

Website 4 the day:
Learn magic tricks:
http://www.learnmagictricks.org/

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When I was a boy

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 17, 2017, In : Humor 
When I was a boy, the Dead Sea was only sick.
-- George Burns

Website 4 the day:
New image compression 4x better:
http://thenextweb.com/google/2017/01/12/googles-new-compression-tool-uses-75-less-bandwidth-without-sacrificing-image-quality/

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What crabs think

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 17, 2017, In : Humor 
Do crabs think we walk sideways?
-- Bill Murray

Website 4 the day:
How to dispense ketchup:
https://munchies.vice.com/en/articles/this-is-the-best-way-to-get-ketchup-out-of-the-bottle-according-to-science

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An astronomy course

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 17, 2017, In : Humor 
I took an astronomy course, but it was over my head.

Website 4 the day:
Bioengineered pet spoof:
http://www.genpets.com/

Continue reading ...
 

Beer and pizza vs. celery

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, January 5, 2017, In : Humor 
They don’t make pizza or beer out of celery. And that is all you need to know about celery.
-- Bill Murray

Website 4 the day:
Old-style CRT at 100 FPS:
http://digg.com/video/crt-tv-screens-refresh

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Live to be one hundred

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, January 5, 2017, In : Humor 
If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age.
-- George Burns

Website 4 the day:
Delete Amazon Echo and Google Home recordings:
http://bgr.com/2016/12/30/how-to-delete-amazon-echo/

Continue reading ...
 

Derivation of politics

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, January 5, 2017, In : Humor 
Politics: “Poli” a Latin word meaning “many”; and "tics" meaning “bloodsucking creatures”.
-- Robin Williams

Website 4 the day:
:uʍop-ǝpısdn ǝdʎʇ
http://www.sevenwires.com/play/UpsideDownLetters.html

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Fun exercise

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, January 5, 2017, In : Humor 
Wouldn’t exercise be more fun if calories screamed while you burned them?
-- Bill Murray

Website 4 the day:
Code in colored blocks:
http://www.dangermouse.net/esoteric/piet.html

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Janitor's union

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, January 5, 2017, In : Humor 
The janitor's union called for sweeping reforms.

Website 4 the day:
Live action Futurama:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f-1RMKdWz8M

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Four pieces of pie

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, January 5, 2017, In : Humor 
Cut my pie into four pieces, I do not think I could eat eight.
-- Yogi Berra

Website 4 the day:
Periodic table of fictional elements:
https://www.buymetalonline.co.uk/images/fictional_minerals.jpg

Continue reading ...
 

Following my dreams

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, January 5, 2017, In : Humor 
I’m sick of following my dreams. I’m just going to ask them where they’re going and hook up with them later.
-- Mitch Hedberg

Website 4 the day:
Facebook site for messages only:
https://www.messenger.com/

Continue reading ...
 

Everything coming your way

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, January 5, 2017, In : Humor 
When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
-- Steven Wright

Website 4 the day:
Learn Java programming:
https://www.simplilearn.com/resources-to-learn-java-programming-article

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In case of snake

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, January 5, 2017, In : Humor 
I always keep some whiskey handy in case I see a snake…which I also keep handy.
-- W. C. Fields

Website 4 the day:
Make a musical instrument:
http://www.cigarboxnation.com/page/free-plans

Continue reading ...
 

One drink drunk

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, January 5, 2017, In : Humor 
It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
-- George Burns

Website 4 the day:
Reheat pasta for health:
http://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-29629761

Continue reading ...
 

My candy cane collection

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, January 5, 2017, In : Humor 
Want to see my candy cane collection? They are all in mint condition.

Website 4 the day:
Free Harvard University courses:
http://online-learning.harvard.edu/courses?sort_by=date_added&cost%5B%5D=free

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Washington DC and Wisconsin

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 3, 2017, In : Humor 
Washington, DC, is to lying what Wisconsin is to cheese.
-- Dennis Miller

Website 4 the day:
FreeOffice Microsoft Office alternative:
http://www.freeoffice.com/en/download

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Off the freeway

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 3, 2017, In : Humor 
Coming off the freeway, I saw a guy with a sign that said, "If you were homeless, you'd be home now."
-- John Mendoza

Website 4 the day:
Vulnerability testing:
http://www.tenable.com/products/nessus/select-your-operating-system

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Portrait vs. Painting

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 3, 2017, In : Humor 
A portrait is a painting in which there is something wrong with the mouth.
-- Eugene Speicher

Website 4 the day:
POV tying a tie:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hPjKfAFoXEU

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Dog economy

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 3, 2017, In : Humor 
My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to $1.66 a can. That's almost $12 in dog money.
-- Joe Weinstein

Website 4 the day:
Find my phone:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NpN9NzO4Mo8

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No secrets

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 3, 2017, In : Humor 
I don't have any secrets. I just forget a lot of stuff.
-- Brian Andreas

Website 4 the day:
Popular baby names since 1910:
http://digg.com/2016/most-popular-baby-names-noah-emma

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Hindsight

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 3, 2017, In : Humor 
With hindsight, I wouldn't have sat on that thumbtack.

Website 4 the day:
Wrap packages in cloth:
http://furoshiki.com/techniques/

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Cure seasickness

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 3, 2017, In : Humor 
To cure seasickness, sit under a tree.
-- Spike Milligan

Website 4 the day:
CIA's maps:
https://www.flickr.com/photos/ciagov/

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Eat anything

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 3, 2017, In : Humor 
People will eat anything if it is cut into small enough pieces.
-- Leonard Powell

Website 4 the day:
Who has your data:
http://www.stopdatamining.me/

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The first thing

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 3, 2017, In : Humor 
The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.
-- Oscar Levant

Website 4 the day:
Dead or alive?
http://deadoraliveinfo.com/

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Conscience visits

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 3, 2017, In : Humor 
Conscience is a mother-in-law whose visit never ends.
-- H. L. Mencken

Website 4 the day:
Forward e-mail via SMS:
https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/send-your-email-to-sms-te/ipghnlmkjdejhibmialipjeaoobhaofe

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My name until 13

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 3, 2017, In : Humor 
Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was Shaddup.
-- Daniel Tosh

Website 4 the day:
Stop procrastinating:
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLCZOcsNyk-g7itGkhU7SYkzgp6n7poZCH

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4 bowls of soup

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 3, 2017, In : Humor 
I ate 4 bowls of delicious alphabet soup. After that I had a massive vowel movement.

Website 4 the day:
Coin stacking
http://boingboing.net/2016/12/08/watch-some-fantastic-coin-stac.html

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Sporting goods companies payments

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, December 11, 2016, In : Humor 
Sporting goods companies pay me not to endorse their products.
-- Bob Uecker

Website 4 the day:
Stupid test answers:
http://www.smosh.com/smosh-pit/photos/16-wonderfully-stupid-test-answers

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Sleeping dogs

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, December 11, 2016, In : Humor 
Don't let sleeping dogs lie. Insist on the truth.
-- Cynthia Nelms

Website 4 the day:
OnlyOffice:
https://www.onlyoffice.com/download-desktop.aspx

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New York time

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, December 11, 2016, In : Humor 
When it's three o'clock in New York, it's still 1938 in London. 
-- Bette Midler 

Website 4 the day:
Russian propaganda echos: 
http://www.propornot.com/p/the-list.html

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The actor fell through

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, December 11, 2016, In : Humor 
Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboards? He was just going through a stage.

Website 4 the day:
'Bohemian Rhapsody' as a crime thriller:
http://mashable.com/2016/12/06/queen-bohemian-rhapsody-literally

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I'd horsewhip you

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, December 11, 2016, In : Humor 
I'd horsewhip you if I had a horse.
-- S. J. Perelman

Website 4 the day:
Dogs of Amazon:
https://www.amazon.com/p/feature/d8j6je99gnx65bk?ref_=doa_red

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Scottish food

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, December 11, 2016, In : Humor 
My theory is that all Scottish food is based on a dare.
-- Mike Myers

Website 4 the day:
Camera sees around corner:
http://www.popularmechanics.com/science/a18428/camera-sees-around-corners/

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Waiting 2 weeks

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, December 11, 2016, In : Humor 
Whenever something good happens to me, I wait two weeks before telling anybody because I like to use the word fortnight.
-- Demetri Martin

Website 4 the day:
Multi-platform notes:
https://www.google.com/keep/

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Break a leg

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, December 11, 2016, In : Humor 
We tell actors to "Break a leg" because every play needs a cast.

Website 4 the day:
Google Santa Info:
https://santatracker.google.com/village.html

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A Marxist and a fascist

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, December 5, 2016, In : Humor 
I have been married to one Marxist and one fascist and neither would take out the garbage.
-- Lee Grant

Website 4 the day:
Cool animated short:


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A plain, simple woman

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, December 5, 2016, In : Humor 
I stand before you as a plain, simple woman. The beautician can't take me until tomorrow.
-- Gracie Allen

Website 4 the day:
First response PC repair kit:
http://paul.is-a-geek.org/aio-srt/aio-srt-lite/

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Everyone is entitled

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, December 5, 2016, In : Humor 
Everyone is entitled to my opinion.
-- Ashleigh Brilliant

Website 4 the day:
News heat map:
http://newsmap.jp/

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Delusions of grandeur

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, December 5, 2016, In : Humor 
Delusions of grandeur make me feel better about myself.
-- Jane Wagner

Website 4 the day:
Remove yourself from the Internet:
https://www.deseat.me/

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Woman in labor

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, December 5, 2016, In : Humor 
A woman in labor suddenly shouted, "Shouldn't! Wouldn't! Couldn't! Didn't! Can't!" She was having contractions. 

Website 4 the day:
Check for fake reviews: 
http://fakespot.com/

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Horseshoe luck

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, November 26, 2016, In : Humor 
A horseshoe can't bring good luck because every horse in the race carries four.
-- Walter "Red" Smith

Website 4 the day:
Hacker's operating system:
http://tools4hackers.com/parrot-3-0-hackers-operating-system

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Fear of negative numbers

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, November 26, 2016, In : Humor 
The mathematician was afraid of negative numbers. He would stop at nothing to avoid them.

Website 4 the day:
South Korean Toilet Museum:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2HWg9mMFN50

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Can't answer an argument

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, November 21, 2016, In : Humor 
If you can't answer a man's argument, all is not lost; you can still call him vile names.
-- Elbert Hubbard

Website 4 the day:
Humans through time:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PUwmA3Q0_OE

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Women and cats

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, November 21, 2016, In : Humor 
Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.
-- Robert A. Heinlein

Website 4 the day:
Inexpensive mental health counseling:
http://lifehacker.com/top-10-free-and-affordable-mental-health-and-counseling-1788814933

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What's on TV

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, November 21, 2016, In : Humor 
Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV.
-- Jerry Seinfeld

Website 4 the day:
Make word art:
http://makewordart.com/

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Dumb-blonde jokes

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, November 21, 2016, In : Humor 
I'm not offended by all the dumb-blonde jokes because I know that I'm not dumb. I also know I'm not blonde.
-- Dolly Parton

Website 4 the day:
DIY riot mask:
http://survivallife.com/stay-prepared-diy-riot-mask/

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Life is too short

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, November 21, 2016, In : Humor 
Life is too short to learn German.
-- Richard Porson

Website 4 the day:
Nano exploration:
http://vimeo.com/9068558

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Learning braille

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, November 21, 2016, In : Humor 
I’ve been learning braille. I’m sure I’ll master it once I get a feel for it.

Website 4 the day:
Windows tricks:
http://www.talktogamer.com/2015/10/50-tricks-and-hacks-which-you-dont-know.html

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Never hated enough

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, November 3, 2016, In : Humor 
I never hated a man enough to give him his diamonds back.
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor

Website 4 the day:
The Blue Brain project:
http://bluebrain.epfl.ch/

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Always and never

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, November 3, 2016, In : Humor 
Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.
-- Wendell Johnson

Website 4 the day:
Building sawhorses:
http://woodgears.ca/sawhorse/

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Becoming a witch

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, November 3, 2016, In : Humor 
I thought about becoming a witch, so I tried it for a spell.

Website 4 the day:
Free Microsoft Office online tools:
https://products.office.com/en-us/office-online/documents-spreadsheets-presentations-office-online

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Why Waldo wears stripes

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, November 3, 2016, In : Humor 
Waldo wears stripes so that he won't be spotted.

Website 4 the day:
Zombie preparedness:
http://www.cdc.gov/phpr/documents/zombie_gn_final.pdf

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Seeking a blessing

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, October 26, 2016, In : Humor 
What I am looking for is a blessing not in disguise.
Jerome K. Jerome

Website 4 the day:
Lie with statistics:
http://lifehacker.com/how-to-lie-to-yourself-and-others-with-statistics-1788184031

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Name switching

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, October 26, 2016, In : Humor 
“Pickup artists” and “garbagemen” should switch names.

Website 4 the day:
Slang dictionary:
https://greensdictofslang.com/

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Stop eating doughnuts

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, October 22, 2016, In : Humor 
If you stop eating doughnuts you will live three years longer, but it’s just three more years that you’ll want a doughnut.
-- Lewis Black

Website 4 the day:
Consumer complaints:
https://www.pissedconsumer.com/

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User definition

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, October 22, 2016, In : Humor 
"User": the word computer professionals use when they mean “idiot.”
-- Dave Barry

Website 4 the day:
Linux for routers:
http://wiki.openwrt.org/doc/start

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Close to perfection

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, October 21, 2016, In : Humor 
The closest a person ever comes to perfection is when he fills out a job application form.
-- Stanley Randall

Website 4 the day:
What Pixar animators do in their spare time:
https://vimeo.com/187257744

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Shoe factory tragedy

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, October 19, 2016, In : Humor 
The shoe factory suffered a horrible fire and many soles were lost.

Website 4 the day:
Inside Teddy Ruxpin:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sJ5cD9xvqew

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Beginnings of auto racing

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, October 19, 2016, In : Humor 
Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built.
-- Henry Ford

Website 4 the day:
Build a house with only a screwdriver:
http://www.businessinsider.com/popup-house-pack-home-build-like-lego-pieces-2016-10

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I ain't afraid

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, October 19, 2016, In : Humor 
I ain't afraid to love a man. I ain't afraid to shoot him either.
-- Annie Oakley

Website 4 the day:
WikiTravel:
http://wikitravel.org/en/Main_Page

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Save money

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, October 19, 2016, In : Humor 
Augstine's Law Number LII: People working in the private sector should try to save money. There remains the possibility that it may someday be valuable again.
-- Norman Ralph Augustine

Website 4 the day:
Clown car style packing:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L5UlxHsgD58

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America's tricentennial

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, October 18, 2016, In : Humor 
Augstine's Law Number LI: By the time of the United States Tricentennial, there will be more government workers than there are workers.
-- Norman Ralph Augustine

Website 4 the day:
Compare products:
https://www.productchart.com/

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Life spans

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, October 17, 2016, In : Humor 
Augstine's Law Number L: The average regulation has a life span one-fifth as long as a chimpanzee's and one-tenth as long as a human's, but four times as long as the official's who created it.
-- Norman Ralph Augustine

Website 4 the day:
Mood music:
http://focusmusic.fm/

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Regulation growth

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, October 16, 2016, In : Humor 
Augstine's Law Number XLIX: Regulations grow at the same rate as weeds.
-- Norman Ralph Augustine

Website 4 the day:
Crayon art:
https://www.color.works/

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Long-necked pink bird

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, October 16, 2016, In : Humor 
I saw a long-necked pink bird with a hacking cough in my yard. It was a phlegmingo.

Website 4 the day:
The speed dating of TED talks:
http://www.ignitetalks.io/

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More time is less time

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, October 14, 2016, In : Humor 
Augstine's Law Number XLVIII: The more time you spend talking about what you have been doing, the less time you have to spend doing what you have been talking about. Eventually, you spend more and more time talking about less and less until finally you spend all your time talking about nothing.
-- Norman Ralph Augustine

Website 4 the day:
How to read sheet music:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-3WuQxnA7Hg

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Covered with water

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, October 14, 2016, In : Humor 
Augstine's Law Number XLVII: Two-thirds of the Earth's surface is covered with water. The other third is covered with auditors from headquarters.
-- Norman Ralph Augustine

Website 4 the day:
10 companies control your food:
http://www.businessinsider.com/10-companies-control-the-food-industry-2016-9/

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Saving a billion

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, October 12, 2016, In : Humor 
Augstine's Law Number XLVI: A billion saved is a billion earned.
-- Norman Ralph Augustine

Website 4 the day:
Tie two sticks together:
http://lifehacker.com/learn-the-basics-of-tying-wood-together-with-these-thre-1787219750

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Expected

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, October 11, 2016, In : Humor 
Augstine's Law Number XLV: One should expect that the expected can be prevented, but the unexpected should have been expected.
-- Norman Ralph Augustine

Website 4 the day:
City VR experience:
https://cityvr.com/ 

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21st century air flight

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, October 10, 2016, In : Humor 
Augstine's Law Number XLIV: Aircraft flight in the 21st century will always be in a westerly direction, preferably supersonic, crossing time zones to provide the additional hours needed to fix the broken electronics.
-- Norman Ralph Augustine

Website 4 the day:
Vegetarian Chinese take-out:
http://www.onegreenplanet.org/vegan-food/vegan-chinese-dishes/

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Working hardware

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, October 10, 2016, In : Humor 
Augstine's Law Number XLIII: Hardware works best when it matters the least.
-- Norman Ralph Augustine

Website 4 the day:
Literature infographics:
https://www.coursehero.com/infographics/

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Clown's open door

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, October 10, 2016, In : Humor 
The other day I held the door open for a clown. I thought it was a nice jester.

Website 4 the day:
Collaborative story telling:
http://ficly.com/

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Impossible systems

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, October 7, 2016, In : Humor 
Augstine's Law Number XLII: Simple systems are not feasible because they require infinite testing.
-- Norman Ralph Augustine

Website 4 the day:
Planet unknown:
https://vimeo.com/183577091

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More is less

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, October 6, 2016, In : Humor 
Augstine's Law Number XLI: The more one produces, the less one gets.
-- Norman Ralph Augustine

Website 4 the day:
Make 2D hand-drawn animations:
https://pencil2d.github.io/

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Start out slowly

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, October 6, 2016, In : Humor 
Augstine's Law Number XL: Most projects start out slowly, and then sort of taper off.
-- Norman Ralph Augustine

Website 4 the day:
Binaural beats generator:
https://sourceforge.net/projects/gnaural/

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Never promise

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, October 5, 2016, In : Humor 
Augstine's Law Number XXXIX: Never promise to complete any project within six months of the end of the year, in either direction.
-- Norman Ralph Augustine

Website 4 the day:
Mathematical algorithm system:
http://axiom-developer.org/

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Birds v. worms

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, October 4, 2016, In : Humor 
Augstine's Law Number XXXVIII: The early bird gets the worm. The early worm...gets eaten.
-- Norman Ralph Augustine

Website 4 the day:
Why cats do what they do:
http://www.vetstreet.com/our-pet-experts/is-my-cat-trying-to-annoy-me-5-strange-cat-behaviors-explained

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Worse than you expect

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, October 3, 2016, In : Humor 
Augstine's Law Number XXXVII: Ninety percent of the time things will turn out worse than you expect. The other 10 percent of the time you had no right to expect so much.
-- Norman Ralph Augustine

Website 4 the day:
Deep mind for better speech:
https://deepmind.com/blog/wavenet-generative-model-raw-audio/

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Eyeball to eyeball

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, October 3, 2016, In : Humor 
One eyeball says to the other: "Between you and me, something smells."

Website 4 the day:
Lewd sounding town names:
http://laughingsquid.com/a-map-highlighting-the-lewdest-sounding-town-name-in-each-state-in-the-united-states/

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Proposal thickness

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, September 30, 2016, In : Humor 
Augstine's Law Number XXXVI: The thickness of the proposal required to win a multimillion dollar contract is about one millimeter per million dollars. If all the proposals conforming to this standard were piled on top of each other at the bottom of the Grand Canyon it would probably be a good idea.
-- Norman Ralph Augustine

Website 4 the day:
DIY medicine:
https://fourthievesvinegar.org/

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Weak data

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, September 30, 2016, In : Humor 
Augstine's Law Number XXXV: The weaker the data available upon which to base one's conclusion, the greater the precision which should be quoted in order to give the data authenticity.
-- Norman Ralph Augustine

Website 4 the day:
Human perspective on self-driving cars:
http://moralmachine.mit.edu/

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Competitive selection

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, September 29, 2016, In : Humor 
Augstine's Law Number XXXIV: The process of competitively selecting contractors to perform work is based on a system of rewards and penalties, all distributed randomly.
-- Norman Ralph Augustine

Website 4 the day:
Organize health info:
https://carezone.com/home

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Rushing fools

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, September 28, 2016, In : Humor 
Augstine's Law Number XXXIII: Fools rush in where incumbents fear to tread.
-- Norman Ralph Augustine

Website 4 the day:
Downloadable and online graphics editor:
http://vectr.com/

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Problems into gold

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, September 27, 2016, In : Humor 
Augstine's Law Number XXXII: Hiring consultants to conduct studies can be an excellent means of turning problems into gold, your problems into their gold.
-- Norman Ralph Augustine

Website 4 the day:
H20 (water) prank:
http://www.dhmo.org/

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Optimum committee size

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, September 26, 2016, In : Humor 
Augstine's Law Number XXXI: The optimum committee has no members.
-- Norman Ralph Augustine

Website 4 the day:
Summaries of the day's important news:
http://www.theskimm.com/?r=1baabd86.

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Skunks

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, September 25, 2016, In : Humor 
Skunks are very scent-imental!

Website 4 the day:
R2D2 translator:
http://www.r2d2translator.com/

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People asking questions

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, September 23, 2016, In : Humor 
Augstine's Law Number XXX: By the time the people asking the questions are ready for the answers, the people doing the work have lost track of the questions.
-- Norman Ralph Augustine

Website 4 the day:
Wobulator:
http://webaudio.prototyping.bbc.co.uk/wobbulator/

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Executive longevity

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, September 22, 2016, In : Humor 
Augstine's Law Number XXIX: Executives who do not produce successful results hold on to their jobs only about five years. Those who produce effective results hang on about half a decade.
-- Norman Ralph Augustine

Website 4 the day:
Animated text:
http://www.stilllife.studio/txtwav

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When it is better

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, September 22, 2016, In : Humor 
Augstine's Law Number XXVIII: It is better to be the reorganizer than the reorganizee.
-- Norman Ralph Augustine

Website 4 the day:
E-coli evolves to tolerate antibiotics:
https://player.vimeo.com/video/180908160

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Not intimidating

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, September 21, 2016, In : Humor 
Augstine's Law Number XXVII: Rank does not intimidate hardware. Neither does the lack of rank.
-- Norman Ralph Augustine

Website 4 the day:
Check out people:
http://mentalfloss.com/article/68055/library-lets-you-check-out-people-instead-books

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Superimposed management layers

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, September 21, 2016, In : Humor 
Augstine's Law Number XXVI: If a sufficient number of management layers are superimposed on each other, it can be assured that disaster is not left to chance.
-- Norman Ralph Augustine

Website 4 the day:
Youtube science shows:
http://www.dailydot.com/parsec/best-youtube-science-shows/

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A schedule as a canvas

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, September 19, 2016, In : Humor 
Augstine's Law Number XXV: A revised schedule is to business what a new season is to an athlete or a new canvas to an artist.
-- Norman Ralph Augustine

Website 4 the day:
DIgital photography course:
https://sites.google.com/site/marclevoylectures/schedule

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Lights out

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, September 17, 2016, In : Humor 
The lights went out because they liked each other.

Website 4 the day:
Murphy's Law calculator:
http://andrew.triumf.ca/cgi-bin/murphy.html

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The most costly action

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, September 16, 2016, In : Humor 
Augstine's Law Number XXIV: The only thing more costly than stretching the schedule of an established project is accelerating it, which is itself the most costly action known to man.
-- Norman Ralph Augustine

Website 4 the day:
Convert videos and photos to works of art:
http://neuralstyler.com/

Continue reading ...
 

Completed in 4/3rd the time

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, September 15, 2016, In : Humor 
Augstine's Law Number XXIII: Any task can be completed in only one-third more time than is currently estimated.
-- Norman Ralph Augustine

Website 4 the day:
Sitemap creator:
http://simplesitemapcreator.matthewhipkin.co.uk/

Continue reading ...
 

Market experts

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, September 14, 2016, In : Humor 
Augstine's Law Number XXII: If stock market experts were so expert, they would be buying stock, not selling advice.
-- Norman Ralph Augustine

Website 4 the day:
Foreign travel info:
https://www.thebasetrip.com/

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Easy loans

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, September 13, 2016, In : Humor 
Augstine's Law Number XXI: It's easy to get a loan unless you need it.
-- Norman Ralph Augustine

Website 4 the day:
Old age without children:
http://twocents.lifehacker.com/how-to-prepare-for-old-age-when-you-don-t-have-kids-1785370803

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Congressional funding

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, September 13, 2016, In : Humor 
Augstine's Law Number XX: In any given year, Congress will appropriate the amount of funding approved the prior year plus three-fourths of whatever change the administration requests, minus 4-percent tax.
-- Norman Ralph Augustine

Website 4 the day:
Pet-friendly hotels:
http://www.pet-friendly-hotels.net/

Continue reading ...
 

Products too costly

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, September 12, 2016, In : Humor 
Augstine's Law Number XIX: Although most products will soon be too costly to purchase, there will be a thriving market in the sale of books on how to fix them.
-- Norman Ralph Augustine

Website 4 the day:
Pet travel guide:
http://www.dogfriendly.com/

Continue reading ...
 

Naked in the bathroom

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, September 11, 2016, In : Humor 
When I get naked in the bathroom, the shower usually gets turned on.

Website 4 the day:
Hotels that allow pets:
http://pets-allowed-hotels.com/

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Expensive unreliability

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, September 9, 2016, In : Humor 
Augstine's Law Number XVIII: It is very expensive to achieve high unreliability. It is not uncommon to increase the cost of an item by a factor of ten for each factor of ten degradation accomplished.
-- Norman Ralph Augustine

Website 4 the day:
Pet-friendly travel:
http://www.bringfido.com/

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Software and entropy

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, September 8, 2016, In : Humor 
Augstine's Law Number XVII: Software is like entropy. It is difficult to grasp, weighs nothing, and obeys the Second Law of Thermodynamics; i.e., it always increases.
-- Norman Ralph Augustine

Website 4 the day:
Old SF:
http://www.oldsf.org/#

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2054 aircraft

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, September 7, 2016, In : Humor 
Augstine's Law Number XVI: In the year 2054, the entire defense budget will purchase just one aircraft. This aircraft will have to be shared by the Air Force and Navy 3-1/2 days each per week except for leap year, when it will be made available to the Marines for the extra day.
-- Norman Ralph Augustine

Website 4 the day:
IoT search engine:
https://www.shodan.io

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Last 10 percent

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, September 7, 2016, In : Humor 
Augstine'sAugstine's Law Number XV: The last 10 percent of performance generates one-third of the cost and two-thirds of the problems.
-- Norman Ralph Augustine

Website 4 the day:
Hidden worlds of national parks:
https://artsandculture.withgoogle.com/en-us/

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No more plane crashes

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, September 6, 2016, In : Humor 

Augstine's Law Number XIV: After the year 2015, there will be no airplane crashes. There will be no takeoffs either, because electronics will occupy 100 percent of every airplane's weight.
-- Norman Ralph Augustine

Website 4 the day:
Moving balls:
http://www.haneke.net/

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Highly successful businesses

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, September 5, 2016, In : Humor 
Augstine's Law Number XIII: There are many highly successful businesses in the United States. There are also many highly paid executives. The policy is not to intermingle the two.
-- Norman Ralph Augustine

Website 4 the day:
Website info:
http://builtwith.com/

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Cinderella off the team

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, September 4, 2016, In : Humor 
Cinderella thrown off the basketball team because she ran away from the ball.

Website 4 the day:
Hamster butts:
https://twitter.com/9GAG/status/767036031975694336

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Cost of bad products

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, September 2, 2016, In : Humor 
Augstine's Law Number XII: It costs a lot to build bad products.
-- Norman Ralph Augustine

Website 4 the day:
Hot glue hacks:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=IahCw6plBhs

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Rotating Earth faster

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, September 1, 2016, In : Humor 
Augstine's Law Number XI: If the Earth could be made to rotate twice as fast, managers would get twice as much done. If the Earth could be made to rotate twenty times as fast, everyone else would get twice as much done since all the managers would fly off.
-- Norman Ralph Augustine

Website 4 the day:
See pages Google cached:
http://cachedview.com/

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Fight winners

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, August 31, 2016, In : Humor 
Augstine's Law Number X: Bulls do not win bullfights; people do. People do not win people fights; lawyers do.
-- Norman Ralph Augustine

Website 4 the day:
Free USGS Quads:
http://www.natgeomaps.com/trail-maps/pdf-quads

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Acronyms and abbreviations

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, August 31, 2016, In : Humor 
Augstine's Law Number IX: Acronyms and abbreviations should be used to the maximum extent possible to make trivial ideas profound...Q.E.D.
-- Norman Ralph Augustine

Website 4 the day:
Alzheimer's checklist:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-3714806/Will-Alzheimer-s-Answer-questions-Checklist-shows-symptoms-disease-memory-loss.html

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Unsuccessful four years

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, August 30, 2016, In : Humor 
Augstine's Law Number VIII: The most unsuccessful four years in the education of a cost-estimator is fifth grade arithmetic.
-- Norman Ralph Augustine

Website 4 the day:
Office workout:
http://darebee.com/workouts/office-workout.html

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Increasing overhead

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, August 29, 2016, In : Humor 
Augstine's Law Number VII: Decreased business base increases overhead. So does increased business base.
-- Norman Ralph Augustine

Website 4 the day:
Free Microsoft Expression Design:
https://www.microsoft.com/en-us/download/details.aspx?id=36180

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Thrown off the team

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, August 28, 2016, In : Humor 
Cinderella thrown off the basketball team because she ran away from the ball.

Website 4 the day:
Catipedia:
https://www.catchow.com/catipedia/

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Hungry hunting dogs

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, August 27, 2016, In : Humor 
Augstine's Law Number VI: A hungry dog hunts best. A hungrier dog hunts even better.
-- Norman Ralph Augustine

Website 4 the day:
Free sound clips:
http://soundbible.com/

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Producing participants

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, August 26, 2016, In : Humor 
Augstine's Law Number V: One-tenth of the participants produce over one-third of the output. Increasing the number of participants merely reduces the average output.
-- Norman Ralph Augustine

Website 4 the day:
Speech accent archive:
http://accent.gmu.edu/

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Afford to advertise

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, August 25, 2016, In : Humor 
Augstine's Law Number IV: If you can afford to advertise, you don't need to.
-- Norman Ralph Augustine

Website 4 the day:
Google free fonts:
https://fonts.google.com/

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Lazy hunters

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, August 23, 2016, In : Humor 
Augstine's Law Number III: There are no lazy veteran lion hunters.
-- Norman Ralph Augustine

Website 4 the day:
Hack your Ikea:
http://www.ikeahackers.net/

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If today were half as good

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, August 23, 2016, In : Humor 
Augstine's Law Number II: If today were half as good as tomorrow is supposed to be, it would probably be twice as good as yesterday was.
-- Norman Ralph Augustine

Website 4 the day:
Mars Rover Game:
http://mars.nasa.gov/gamee-rover/

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Making a silk purse

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, August 21, 2016, In : Humor 
Augstine's Law Number I: The best way to make a silk purse from a sow's ear is to begin with a silk sow. The same is true of money.
-- Norman Ralph Augustine

Website 4 the day:
Taco Bell's vegie menu:
https://www.tacobell.com/feed/how-to-eat-veggie

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Horse relationships

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, August 21, 2016, In : Humor 
Horses have stable relationships.

Website 4 the day:
How web designers trick us:
http://darkpatterns.org/

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Where not to stand

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, August 19, 2016, In : Humor 
Never stand between a dog and a fire hydrant.
-- John Peer

Website 4 the day:
Self-treatment for choking:
http://www.resuscitationjournal.com/article/S0300-9572(16)00087-3/pdf

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Dresses to kill

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, August 18, 2016, In : Humor 
My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
-- Henny Youngman

Website 4 the day:
Mindfullness resources:
http://www.freemindfulness.org/download

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Live like a poor man

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, August 16, 2016, In : Humor 
I'd like to live like a poor man - only with lots of money.
-- Pablo Picasso

Website 4 the day:
SketchUp tutorial:
http://www.woodcraftmagazine.com/sketchups.php

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Wife wants to drive

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, August 16, 2016, In : Humor 
If your wife wants to learn to drive, don't stand in her way.
-- Sam Levenson

Website 4 the day:
Interactive historical perspective of sleep:
http://healthysleep.med.harvard.edu/interactive/timeline

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Kissing advice

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, August 15, 2016, In : Humor 
Never let a fool kiss you, or a kiss fool you.
-- Joey Adams

Website 4 the day:
3D animation and rendering:
https://www.daz3d.com/get_studio

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Everything stolen

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, August 13, 2016, In : Humor 
Thieves stole everything in my house except my soap, shower gel, towels and deodorant. Dirty Bastards.

Website 4 the day:
Make a money shirt:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=0Nv_J5JeIjI

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Wasted life

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, August 11, 2016, In : Humor 
Life is wasted on the living.
-- Douglas Adams

Website 4 the day:
Intelligent flash cards:
http://ankisrs.net/

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Time is money

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, August 8, 2016, In : Humor 
Time is money. Overtime is more money.

Website 4 the day:
Popular Mechanics DIY tips:
http://www.popularmechanics.com/home/how-to/g88/know-your-stuff-the-110-best-diy-tips-ever/

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Eyesight problem

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, August 4, 2016, In : Humor 
There is something wrong with my eyesight. I can't see going to work.
-- Teddy Bergeron

Website 4 the day:
Fairest way to share:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=prh72BLNjIk

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University definition

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, August 2, 2016, In : Humor 
A university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest in the students.
-- John Ciardi

Website 4 the day:
A billion degrees of separation:
www.bbc.com/future/story/20131218-absolute-zero-to-absolute-hot

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Atlanta was a void

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, July 31, 2016, In : Humor 
In the beginning, Atlanta was a void without form. It still is.
-- Roy Blount, Jr.

Website 4 the day:
Find a companion:
http://petfinder.com

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A non-stop flight

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, July 30, 2016, In : Humor 
I didn't take a non-stop flight on my vacation because I couldn't figure out how to get off the plane.

Website 4 the day:
Avoid airline fees:
http://twocents.lifehacker.com/how-to-get-around-most-airlines-hidden-fees-1782372680

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Change

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, July 30, 2016, In : Humor 
People change and forget to tell each other.
-- Lillian Hellman

Website 4 the day:
Simple JavaScript charts:
http://gionkunz.github.io/chartist-js/

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Viagra cost

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, July 28, 2016, In : Humor 
The average cost of one Viagra pill is about $90, given the cost of the drinks and the room.
-- Argus Hamilton

Website 4 the day:
Methods of mathematical proof:
http://jwilson.coe.uga.edu/EMT668/EMAT6680.F99/Challen/proof/proof.html

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Eagles soar

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, July 27, 2016, In : Humor 
The eagle may soar, but the weasel never gets sucked into a jet engine.
-- John Benfield

Website 4 the day:
Uses for hydrogen peroxide:
http://sevennutrition.com/digital/11-little-known-uses-for-hydrogen-peroxide/

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Future energy

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, July 23, 2016, In : Humor 
Fusion is the energy of the future, and always will be.

Website 4 the day:
Music genres:
http://everynoise.com/engenremap.html

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The greatest thing since ...

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, July 22, 2016, In : Humor 
It's the greatest thing since they reinvented unsliced bread.
-- William Keegan

Website 4 the day:
Make a programmable outlet:
http://www.mechtechlab.com/portlet/

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One's principles

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, July 22, 2016, In : Humor 
If one sticks too rigidly to one's principles, one would hardly see anybody.
-- Agatha Christie

Website 4 the day:
Make a tiny FM transmitter:
http://makezine.com/projects/make-tiny-fm-transmitter-spying/

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Favorite gym machine

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, July 22, 2016, In : Humor 
My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine
.-- Caroline Rhea

Website 4 the day:
First aid and CPR training online:
http://www.firstaidforfree.com

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God and voting

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, July 21, 2016, In : Humor 
If God wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates.
-- Jay Leno

Website 4 the day:
Fonts in use:
http://fontsinuse.com/

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eBay down for hours

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, July 20, 2016, In : Humor 
eBay was shut down for three hours, which led to a loss of $6 million worth of useless crap.
-- Colin Quinn

Website 4 the day:
Herb-drug interactions:
https://www.standardprocess.com/MediHerb-Document-Library/Catalog-Files/herb-drug-interaction-chart.pdf

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Items you lose

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, July 19, 2016, In : Humor 
Any item you lose automatically doubles in value.
-- Mignon McLaughlin

Website 4 the day:
HTML cheat sheet:
http://lifehacker.com/get-a-jump-start-on-your-next-web-site-with-this-html-c-1782183641/

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911 calls in NYC

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, July 18, 2016, In : Humor 
When you call 911 in New York City, the poerator says, "This better be good."
-- David Letterman

Website 4 the day:
E-mail reminders:
https://www.followupthen.com/

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Tomorrow

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, July 18, 2016, In : Humor 
Tomorrow is the busiest day of the week.

Website 4 the day:
1980's TV:
http://my80stv.com/

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Keep an open mind

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, July 16, 2016, In : Humor 
It pays to keep an open mind, but not so open your brains fall out.
-- Carl Sagan

Website 4 the day:
Use of "irony":
http://theoatmeal.com/comics/irony

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See me jogging

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, July 14, 2016, In : Humor 
If you ever see me jogging, tell the bus driver that my arm is caught in the door.
-- Jeff Shaw

Website 4 the day:
When to use a semicolon :
http://theoatmeal.com/comics/semicolon

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Lousy dishes

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, July 13, 2016, In : Humor 
More lousy dishes are presented under the banner of pâté than any other.
-- Kingsley Amis

Website 4 the day:
When to use an apostrophe:
http://theoatmeal.com/comics/apostrophe

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Sex education in school

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, July 12, 2016, In : Humor 
Sex education in school may be a good idea, but there should be no homework.
-- Bill Cosby

Website 4 the day:
Where major services are down:
http://downdetector.com/

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A glass of water

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, July 10, 2016, In : Humor 
After the waiter brought a glass of water, I commented on my rough day and asked for something harder. So he came back with a glass of ice.

Website 4 the day:
All of Key and Peele:
http://www.cc.com/shows/key-and-peele

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The key to happiness

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, July 9, 2016, In : Humor 
People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.
-- Joan Rivers

Website 4 the day:
Dr. Google will see you now:
http://www.theverge.com/2016/6/20/11978338/google-symptom-search-app-web-md-health-doctor

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Is nothing impossible?

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, July 7, 2016, In : Humor 
People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.
-- Winnie the Pooh

Website 4 the day:
Capture and edit screen video:
https://screentogif.codeplex.com/

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When you see ...

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, July 7, 2016, In : Humor 
What should you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
-- George Carlin

Website 4 the day:
Simple screen video capture: 
http://blog.bahraniapps.com/gifcam/

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The best husband

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, July 5, 2016, In : Humor 
An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets the more interested he is in her.
-- Agatha Christie

Website 4 the day:
Vegetarian starter guide:
http://tryveg.com/assets/pdf/vsg0501.pdf

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Pitter-patter of little feet

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, July 5, 2016, In : Humor 
We’ve begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet, so we bought a dog. It’s cheaper, and you get more feet.
-- Rita Rudner

Website 4 the day:
California healthcare compare:
http://www.consumerreports.org/cro/health/california-health-cost-and-quality---consumer-reports/index.htm

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Necking

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, July 4, 2016, In : Humor 
Whoever named it necking is a poor judge of anatomy.
-- Groucho Marx

Website 4 the day:
NRA contributions to your representatives:
http://whoismyvoice.com/

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Backwards rabbits

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, July 3, 2016, In : Humor 
Rabbits walking backwards, all in a row, are a receding hare line.

Website 4 the day:
Klingon Wikipedia:
http://klingon.wikia.com/wiki/ghItlh%27a%27

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What I want for my children

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, July 2, 2016, In : Humor 
I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them.
-- Phyllis Diller

Website 4 the day:
Our changing diet:
http://flowingdata.com/2016/05/17/the-changing-american-diet/

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Not overweight

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, July 1, 2016, In : Humor 
I am not overweight. I'm nine inches too short.
-- Shelley Winters

Website 4 the day:
Veggie cooking cheat sheet:
http://sevennutrition.com/digital/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/veggie-cheat-sheet.jpg

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Dying fake plants

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, June 29, 2016, In : Humor 
My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
-- Mitch Hedberg

Website 4 the day:
Combining typefaces:
https://typekit.files.wordpress.com/2016/04/combiningtypefaces.pdf

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Become a better person

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, June 29, 2016, In : Humor 
My girlfriend wants me to become a better person so I can get a better girlfriend.
-- Anthony Jeselnik

Website 4 the day:
Amazon Echo in a browser: /
http://www.makeuseof.com/tag/how-to-test-drive-the-amazon-echo-in-a-browser

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Nothing nice to say

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, June 28, 2016, In : Humor 
If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
-- Alice Roosevelt Longworth

Website 4 the day:
Learn ethical hacking:
http://www.prophethacker.com/2016/05/websites-learn-ethical-hacking-2016.html

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Why we are here

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, June 26, 2016, In : Humor 
We are all here on earth to help others; what on earth the others are here for I don't know.
-- W. H. Auden

Website 4 the day:
Coding with Chrome:
http://www.omgchrome.com/coding-chrome-google-ide-extension/

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Haunted house elevator

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, June 26, 2016, In : Humor 
I installed an elevator in my haunted house to lift my spirits.

Website 4 the day:
Snowflake font:
https://www.fontsquirrel.com/fonts/Faux-Snow-BRK

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Golf clubs, etc.

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, June 24, 2016, In : Humor 
Give me golf clubs, fresh air, and a beautiful partner and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.
-- Jack Benny

Website 4 the day:
Flower font:
https://www.fontsquirrel.com/fonts/Kalocsai-Flowers

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Irony

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, June 24, 2016, In : Humor 
Speaking of irony, there's a newspaper in Britain called the Sun.
-- Stewart Francis

Website 4 the day:
Happy font:
http://www.myfonts.com/fonts/fontry-west/jls-smiles/sampler/

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Humans and dogs

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, June 23, 2016, In : Humor 
Humans have all the qualities of dogs except loyalty.
-- W. C. Fields

Website 4 the day:
Sugary font:
http://www.bvfonts.com/fonts/details.php?id=4

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Hate music

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, June 21, 2016, In : Humor 
I hate music, especially when it's played.
Jimmy Durante

Website 4 the day:
Stately font:
https://www.fontsquirrel.com/fonts/stateface

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Measuring success

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, June 20, 2016, In : Humor 
One measure of success is the number of things written about you that aren't trhttps://www.futurelearn.com/ue.
-- Cybill Shepherd

Website 4 the day:
Rosette font:
http://www.fontspace.com/agasilva/rosette110621

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Only one fault

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, June 20, 2016, In : Humor 
The play had only one fault. It was kind of lousy.
-- James Thurber

Website 4 the day:
Splat font:
http://www.fontspace.com/24hourfonts/split-splat-splodge

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Line of rabbits

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, June 20, 2016, In : Humor 
Rabbits walking backwards, all in a row, are a receding hare line.

Website 4 the day:
Free alternative to Microsoft Office:
http://www.freeoffice.com/en/

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Bridge club

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, June 17, 2016, In : Humor 
My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday.
-- Rodney Dangerfield

Website 4 the day:
Universe expanding faster than expected:
http://hubblesite.org/newscenter/archive/releases/2016/17/text/

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Only young once

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, June 17, 2016, In : Humor 
You're only young once, but you can be immature forever.
-- Germaine Greer

Website 4 the day:
Open IoT platform:
https://thingspeak.com/

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Only exercise

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, June 15, 2016, In : Humor 
The only exercise I have time for is a run in my stockings.
-- Donna Gephart

Website 4 the day:
Burp web security testing tool:
https://portswigger.net/burp/

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Hemorrhoid sufferers

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, June 14, 2016, In : Humor 
Seven out of ten people suffer from hemorrhoids. Do the other three enjoy them?
-- Sal Davino

Website 4 the day:
Beginners guide to web sites:
http://lifehacker.com/5790955/how-to-make-a-web-site-the-complete-guide

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Kitchen ransacked

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, June 13, 2016, In : Humor 
The ransacked kitchen was covered with cake, fruit, and custard. The police are a trifle concerned.

Website 4 the day:
Do it yourself AC:
http://www.popularmechanics.com/home/interior-projects/how-to/g2632/diy-air-conditioner/

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One who writes

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, June 11, 2016, In : Humor 

A writer is somebody for whom writing is more difficult than it is for other people.
-- Thomas Mann

Website 4 the day:
Google streetcam shots:
http://9-eyes.com/

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Lost rifle

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, June 10, 2016, In : Humor 
When I was in the army, I lost my rifle and was charged $85. That's why in the navy the captain goes down in the ship.
-- Dick Gregory

Website 4 the day:
Have you been pwned?
https://haveibeenpwned.com/

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Be haunted

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, June 7, 2016, In : Humor 
You don't have to be a house to be haunted.
-- Emily Dickinson

Website 4 the day:
Audio only website:
https://croaciaaudio.com

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Weed money

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, June 5, 2016, In : Humor 
Put your money in weeds. The price of weeds never goes down.
-- Wanda Sykes

Website 4 the day:
Free online courses:
https://www.futurelearn.com/

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Well dressed vs. scruffy

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, June 4, 2016, In : Humor 
The difference between a well dressed guy on a bicycle and a scruffy guy on a unicycle is a tire.

Website 4 the day:
How old do you look?
http://how-old.net/

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The best policy

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, June 3, 2016, In : Humor 
Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense.
-- Steve Landesberg

Website 4 the day:
Bizarre cold war experiments:
http://allday.com/post/8545-these-are-the-most-bizarre-research-experiments-to-come-out-of-the-cold-war/

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Airplane prank

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, June 3, 2016, In : Humor 
Next time you fly, squirt ketchup on each ear and then ask the flight attendant, "Is this supposed to happen?"
-- Brad Stine

Website 4 the day:
Install Chrome extensions into Opera:
http://www.makeuseof.com/tag/how-to-install-google-chrome-extensions-in-opera-browser/

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Animals and us separated

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, June 1, 2016, In : Humor 
What separates us from all other animals is that we aren't afraid of vacuum cleaners.
-- Jeff Stilson

Website 4 the day:
Vegie burgers:
http://www.onegreenplanet.org/vegan-food/vegetables-you-can-make-burgers-with/

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Plastic surgery

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, June 1, 2016, In : Humor 
I was going to have plastic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso.
-- Rita Rudner

Website 4 the day:
How to remove a splinter:
https://www.aad.org/media/news-releases/how-to-remove-a-splinter

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Good listener

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, May 30, 2016, In : Humor 
A good listener is thinking about something else.
-- Kin Hubbard

Website 4 the day:
Free HTML UI kit:
http://demos.creative-tim.com/material-kit/index.html

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Email complaints

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, May 30, 2016, In : Humor 
Since my complaint email was full of profanities, it was only logical that I use cursive font.

Website 4 the day:
Death in space:
https://vimeo.com/138802207

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Travel to faraway places

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, May 27, 2016, In : Humor 
People travel to faraway places to watch in fascination the kind of people they ignore at home.
-- Dagobert Runes

Website 4 the day:
Veracrypt vs Bitlocker:
http://lifehacker.com/windows-encryption-showdown-veracrypt-vs-bitlocker-1777855025

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Health conscious

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, May 25, 2016, In : Humor 
I'm very health conscious. I'm in terrible shpe, but I'm aware of it.
-- Stevie Ray Fromstein

Website 4 the day:
Resume to Chat-Bot:
http://lifehacker.com/how-i-turned-my-resume-into-a-chat-bot-1775565350

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Hair loss book

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, May 24, 2016, In : Humor 
I bought a book on hair loss and the pages kept falling out.
-- Jay London

Website 4 the day:
Stuff in space:
http://stuffin.space/

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Nightly prayers

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, May 23, 2016, In : Humor 

A nun who said nightly prayers in the shower did so out of habit.

Website 4 the day:
Real-time wind and wave map:
https://www.windyty.com/

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Hammer rentals

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, May 15, 2016, In : Humor 
The price of renting a hammer was by the pound.

Website 4 the day:
What your cat is saying:
http://www.temptationslab.com/

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Restaurant signs

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, May 13, 2016, In : Humor 
In Tulsa, restaurants have signs that say SORRY, WE'RE OPEN.
-- Roseanne Barr

Website 4 the day:
Cracking ransomware:
http://www.makeuseof.com/tag/will-petya-ransomware-crack-bring-back-files/

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Looking at reality

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, May 13, 2016, In : Humor 
I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it.
-- Garrison Keillor

Website 4 the day:
Wooden gear template generator:
https://woodgears.ca/gear_cutting/template.html

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Invisible cows

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, May 8, 2016, In : Humor 
The invisible cows were herd but not seen.

Website 4 the day:
Reverse dictionary:
http://www.onelook.com/reverse-dictionary.shtml

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Ban shredded cheese

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, May 1, 2016, In : Humor 
Ban the sale of shredded cheese and make America grate again.

Website 4 the day:
Ready to use Linux OSs:
http://www.osboxes.org/

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One person to blame

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, April 30, 2016, In : Humor 
We have only one person to blame, and that's each other.
-- Barry Back

Website 4 the day:
Ideacide:
http://99u.com/articles/53751/ideacide-the-perils-of-self-censoring-and-how-you-can-stop-it

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Only quotations

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, April 27, 2016, In : Humor 
Misquotations are the only quotations that are never misquoted.
-- Hesketh Pearson

Website 4 the day:
Make Obama say what you want:
http://talkobamato.me/

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A lot of baseball

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, April 23, 2016, In : Humor 
I watch a lot of baseball on radio.
-- Gerald Ford

Website 4 the day:
Cats destressed by cardboard boxes:
http://www.techtimes.com/articles/31715/20150210/cats-experience-less-stress-when-they-have-access-to-boxes-says-study.htm

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Crime in Germany

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, April 21, 2016, In : Humor 
There is so little crime in Germany, it that it's against the law.
-- Alex Levin

Website 4 the day:
WIndows XP tweaks:
https://web.archive.org/web/20140122022925/http://www.kellys-korner-xp.com/xp_tweaks.htm

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Retired Jersey

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, April 20, 2016, In : Humor 
When I left high school, they retired my jersey, but it was for sanitary reasons.
-- George Carlin

Website 4 the day:
Retirement calculator:
https://retirementplans.vanguard.com/VGApp/pe/pubeducation/calculators/RetirementIncomeCalc.jsf

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Merely a Canadian

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, April 19, 2016, In : Humor 
A Canadian is merely an unarmed American with good health care.
- John Wing

Website 4 the day:
Shopbot of shopbots:
http://www.megashopbot.com/

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Defective radio inventory

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, April 17, 2016, In : Humor 
The electronics store had a huge inventory of defective radios that would not play very loud. So they offered a volume discount.

Website 4 the day:
Limit your vocabulary:
http://xkcd.com/simplewriter/

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Can't count to ten

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, April 15, 2016, In : Humor 
It's easy to identify people who can't count to ten. They're in front of you in the supermarket express lane.
-- June Henderson

Website 4 the day:
Synthetic life:
https://www.theguardian.com/science/2016/mar/24/landmark-lab-creates-synthetic-cell-with-minimum-genes-needed-for-life-craig-ventner

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Money doesn't make you happy

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, April 14, 2016, In : Humor 
Money doesn't make you happy. I now have $50 million but I was just as happy when I had $48 million.
-- Arnold Schwarzenegger

Website 4 the day:
Free image editor:
https://www.google.com/nikcollection/

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Life's purpose

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, April 12, 2016, In : Humor 
Everyone has a purpose in life. Perhaps yours is watching television.
-- David Letterman

Website 4 the day:
Glue tips:
http://makezine.com/2016/03/25/dont-glue-anything-without-handy-reference-chart/

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Think of the past

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, April 11, 2016, In : Humor 
Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories...
-- Steven Alexander Wright

Website 4 the day:
People called bad names:
http://www.bbc.com/future/story/20160325-the-names-that-break-computer-systems

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The cheese diet

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, April 11, 2016, In : Humor 
I'm on the cheese diet because I need to cheddar few pounds

Website 4 the day:
Internet vulnerability tests:
https://www.grc.com/shieldsup

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Like life

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, April 9, 2016, In : Humor 
I like life. It's something to do.
-- Ronnie Shakes

Website 4 the day:
Eat bugs:
http://viewpure.com/GjSIvCTe8Qo

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Look to the future

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, April 4, 2016, In : Humor 
I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life.
-- George Burns

Website 4 the day:
Malware museum:
https://archive.org/details/malwaremuseum

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Sickly con artist

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, April 4, 2016, In : Humor 
The sickly con artist was found to be lying on his deathbed.

Website 4 the day:
Weird patent coloring book:
https://archivesaotus.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/patentscoloringbook.pdf

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Coffee causing eye pain

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, April 2, 2016, In : Humor 
If your eyes hurt after drinking coffee, try drinking it without the spoon in the cup.
-- Norm Crosby

Website 4 the day:
Learn music theory:
https://soundfly.com/courses/theory-for-producers-the-black-keys

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Astrological errors

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, April 1, 2016, In : Humor 
The margin of error in astrology is plus or minus 100 percent.
-- Calvin Trillin

Website 4 the day:
Animated Gif from Youtube:
https://gifs.com/

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Satisfaction of being shot

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, March 31, 2016, In : Humor 
Next to being shot at and missed, nothing is quite as satisfying as an income tax refund.
-- F. J. Raymond

Website 4 the day:
Sunrise, sunset:
http://www.suncalc.org/

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Can't plead guilty

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, March 30, 2016, In : Humor 
Your Honor, I can't plead guilty or non guilty because I haven't yet heard the evidence.
-- Jonathan S. Benton

Website 4 the day:
How ETFs work:
http://www.bloomberg.com/features/2016-etf-files/toy/

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Jogger's yearning

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, March 29, 2016, In : Humor 
Inside every jogger is a potato yearning for a couch.
-- Robert Fredericks

Website 4 the day:
VPN comparison chart:
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1FJTvWT5RHFSYuEoFVpAeQjuQPU4BVzbOigT0xebxTOw/edit#gid=0

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No one complains

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, March 29, 2016, In : Humor 
Just because no one complains doesn't mean all parachutes are perfect.
-- Benny Hill

Website 4 the day:
Early Jazz legends:
https://archive.org/details/davidwnivenjazz

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Elevator phobia

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, March 27, 2016, In : Humor 
Being afraid of elevators, I take steps to avoid them.

Website 4 the day:
Incredible Star Wars fan movie:
http://viewpure.com/Djo_91jN3Pk

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Left Alabama

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, March 25, 2016, In : Humor 
I was born in Alabama, but I left after one month because I had already done all there was to do.
-- Paula Poundstone

Website 4 the day:
Marble music:
http://viewpure.com/IvUU8joBb1Q

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Men destroyed

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, March 25, 2016, In : Humor 
Fast food has destroyed more men than fast women.
-- Jim Murray

Website 4 the day:
Internet vulnerability tests: https://www.grc.com/shieldsup Old food:
http://www.businessinsider.com/what-foods-looked-like-before-genetic-modification-2016-1

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Talking cats

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, March 24, 2016, In : Humor 
If cats could talk, they would lie.
-- J. Kopack

Website 4 the day:
Cincinnati's subway that wasn't:
http://wackulus.com/cincinnati-has-a-subway-system-that-was-never-finished-and-left-abandoned/

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Anything for a good body

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, March 23, 2016, In : Humor 
I'll do anything for a good body except diet and exercise.
-- Steve Martin

Website 4 the day:
Truth or fiction?
https://www.truthorfiction.com

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Catch of the day

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, March 22, 2016, In : Humor 
In some restaurants, the catch of the day is the waiter.
-- Phyllis Diller

Website 4 the day:
Clothing symbol decoder:
http://www.textileaffairs.com/docs/lguide.pdf

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King George's thought

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, March 20, 2016, In : Humor 
King George thought that the American colonists were revolting.

Website 4 the day:
Insults through e-mail:
http://reginald.io/

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Lucky rabbit's foot

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, March 18, 2016, In : Humor 
Depend on the rabbit's foot if you wish, but remember that it didn't work for the rabbit.
-- R. E. Shay

Website 4 the day:
Weather small talk:
http://graphics.wsj.com/weather-small-talk/

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Fond of pigs

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, March 17, 2016, In : Humor 
I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.
-- Winston Churchill

Website 4 the day:
SED one liners:
http://www.pement.org/sed/sed1line.txt

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Truly a bargain

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, March 16, 2016, In : Humor 
I know this dress was a bargain because I overheard the clerk in the store say that I got it for a ridiculous figure.
-- Minnie Pearl

Website 4 the day:
Free vector icons and fonts:
http://uxrepo.com/

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Soon we all will have

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, March 15, 2016, In : Humor 
Because of web pages, everyone on earth will soon have fifteen megabytes of fame.
-- M. G. Siriam

Website 4 the day:
Interactive math and science simulations:
https://phet.colorado.edu/

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Man's worst enemy

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, March 14, 2016, In : Humor 
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy.
-- Frank Sinatra

Website 4 the day:
Redo photos in famous art style:
http://www.deepart.io/

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Restaurant on the moon

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, March 13, 2016, In : Humor 
The restaurant on the moon had great food, but no atmosphere.

Website 4 the day:
Weird patent coloring book:
https://archivesaotus.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/patentscoloringbook.pdf

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Biblical times and today

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, March 13, 2016, In : Humor 
My people wandered in the wilderness for forty years because even in biblical times men would not stop to ask for directions.
-- Elayne Boosler

Website 4 the day:
Send telemarketer to a robot:
http://jollyrogertelephone.com/how-to-send-your-telemarketers-to-this-robot/

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Becoming nearsighted

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, March 10, 2016, In : Humor 
Since I have become nearsighted, I can't see dust of squalor and conceive of myself as living in splendor.
-- Alice James

Website 4 the day:
Install Linux Mint on your PC:
http://www.zdnet.com/article/how-to-install-linux-mint-on-your-windows-pc/

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The world is turning

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, March 9, 2016, In : Humor 
As long as the world is turning, we're going to be dizzy and make mistakes.
-- Mel Brooks

Website 4 the day:
Society of the Mind course:
http://ocw.mit.edu/6-868JF11

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Men are frauds

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, March 8, 2016, In : Humor 
All men are frauds. The only difference between them is that some admit it. I myself deny it.
-- H. L. Mencken

Website 4 the day:
On-demand roadside assitance:
http://urgent.ly/

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Thin person inside

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, March 8, 2016, In : Humor 
Inside me there’s a thin person struggling to get out, but I can usually sedate him with four or five cupcakes.
-- Bob Thaves

Website 4 the day:
Smart phone wallpapers:
https://www.reddit.com/r/Android/comments/41bje7/high_quality_vertical_wallpapers_vol_2_amoled/

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Great power

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, March 6, 2016, In : Humor 
With great power comes great electricity bills.

Website 4 the day:
Simpsons screen caps:
https://frinkiac.com/

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Priceless politicians

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, March 4, 2016, In : Humor 
A statesman is a politician whose price is unknown.
-- Robert Brenneman

Website 4 the day:
1960's adult coloring books:
https://newrepublic.com/article/126580/radical-history-1960s-adult-coloring-books

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3,000 baseball hits

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, March 4, 2016, In : Humor 
It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon playing golf.
-- Hank Aaron

Website 4 the day:
House painting help:
http://www.housepaintingguide.org/

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A city boy

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, March 2, 2016, In : Humor 
I'm a city boy. When I hunt, it's for a parking place, when I fish, it's for compliments.
-- Jon Carroll

Website 4 the day:
Health answers:
http://goaskalice.columbia.edu/

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What is a horse?

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, March 2, 2016, In : Humor 
A horse is dangerous at both ends and uncomfortable in the middle.
-- Ian Fleming

Website 4 the day:
How to land a plane:
http://viewpure.com/7a2n97rm0Gs

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Cursing calendars

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, February 29, 2016, In : Humor 
After Tuesday, all calendars go W T F.

Website 4 the day:
NASA's travel posters:
http://www.jpl.nasa.gov/visions-of-the-future/

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Planting what?

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, February 27, 2016, In : Humor 
What are they planting to grow seedless watermelons?
-- Jerry Seinfeld

Website 4 the day:
Real-time astronomy:
http://www.rtgui.com/

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A priest went to Lourdes

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, February 26, 2016, In : Humor 
Consider the case of Father La Tour, a priest who went to Lourdes for his asthma and died of a heart attack.
-- Charles Bragg

Website 4 the day:
Animated knot tying guide:
http://www.animatedknots.com/knotlist.php

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You're old when

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, February 25, 2016, In : Humor 
You know you're old when somebody compliments you on your alligator shoes and you're barefoot.
-- Phyllis Diller

Website 4 the day:
Frequency and volume of familiar sounds:
http://www.archildrens.org/documents/services/audiology/familiarsoundsaudiogram.pdf

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A tennis ball

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, February 24, 2016, In : Humor 
A tennis ball is worse than a tennis elbow.
-- John Burkhart

Website 4 the day:
Size up your business:
https://www.sizeup.com/

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Smokers laid end-to-end

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, February 22, 2016, In : Humor 
If you laid all the smokers end to end around the world, 67 percent of them would drown.
-- Steve Altman

Website 4 the day:
Small business tools:
https://www.sba.gov/tools/

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A dedicated life

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, February 21, 2016, In : Humor 
The biologist dedicated her life to studying sponges because she found them so absorbing.

Website 4 the day:
Top 10 lists:Top 10 lists:
http://www.toptenz.net/

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Buried in Chicago

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, February 20, 2016, In : Humor 
I want to be buried in Chicago so I can stay active in politics.
-- Mark Russell

Website 4 the day:
Cruise the web of yesteryear:
http://oldweb.today/

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Economic forecasters

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, February 18, 2016, In : Humor 
Economic forecasters exist to make astrologers look good.
-- Robert B. Reich

Website 4 the day:
Amazingly real drawings:
http://viewpure.com/ohaMAB7AlTY

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Solving problems

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, February 17, 2016, In : Humor 
Engineers like to solve problems. If there aren't any, they will create some.
-- Scott Adams

Website 4 the day:
Netflix category searches:
http://netflixcodes.me/

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Why I quit coaching

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, February 17, 2016, In : Humor 
I quit coaching because of illness and fatigue. The fans were sick and tired of me.
-- John Ralston

Website 4 the day:
Shakespeare original and modern English:
http://nfs.sparknotes.com/

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Fishing is boring until

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, February 15, 2016, In : Humor 
Fishing is boring until you catch a fish, when it becomes disgusting.
-- Dave Barry

Website 4 the day:
Find available names:
https://namechk.com/

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Printer music

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, February 14, 2016, In : Humor 
I heard music coming from my printer and knew that the paper was jamming.

Website 4 the day:
Shrink what bothers you and relax:
http://www.pixelthoughts.co/

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The city that never sleeps

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, February 13, 2016, In : Humor 
New York is the city that never sleeps, which is why it looks like hell in the morning.
-- Bill Maher

Website 4 the day:
Check files for malware:
https://www.virustotal.com/

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Interesting travel

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, February 12, 2016, In : Humor 
The only aspect of travels that is interesting to others is disaster. 
-- Martha Gellman 

Website 4 the day:
Create a resume: 
http://ineedaresu.me/#/

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Playing first chair

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, February 11, 2016, In : Humor 
I played first chair in the high school band until they gave me an instrument.
-- George R. Hext

Website 4 the day:
Android on any PC:
http://www.jide.com/en/remixos-for-pc

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Ask a woman

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, February 9, 2016, In : Humor 
Only a doctor can ask a woman to undress and then send a bill to her husband.
-- Jackie Mason

Website 4 the day:
Intro to CS with Java:
http://chortle.ccsu.edu/java5/

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Cooking with wine

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, February 8, 2016, In : Humor 
I cook with wine. Sometimes I add it to the food.
-- Robert Morley

Website 4 the day:
Words named after people:
http://viewpure.com/0FChlYp5MDo

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Lawyer thrown from saloon

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, February 7, 2016, In : Humor 
Did you hear about the lawyer who was thrown out of a saloon? He was disbarred.

Website 4 the day:
Google Maps view of the largest model railroad:
http://www.google.com/maps/about/behind-the-scenes/streetview/treks/miniatur-wunderland/

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The cow

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, February 6, 2016, In : Humor 
The cow is of the bovine ilk;
One end is moo, the other milk.
-- Obden Nash

Website 4 the day:
Social intro cards:
http://gizmodo.com/young-people-used-these-absurd-little-cards-to-get-laid-1751387386

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Ear doctor's solution

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, February 4, 2016, In : Humor 
A friend of mine went to a doctor for a ringing in his ear. The doctor gave him an unlisted ear.
-- Charlie Callas

Website 4 the day:
Free Yoga videos:
https://www.doyogawithme.com/

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Giving food

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, February 3, 2016, In : Humor 
Food gives meaning to dining-room furniture.
-- Fran Lebowitz

Website 4 the day:
VR glasses make cancers glow:
http://viewpure.com/2UVxqMMgv1w

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Mealtime choice

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, February 3, 2016, In : Humor 
At mealtime, my mother gave the family a choice: take it or leave it.
-- Robert Orben

Website 4 the day:
NASA's plan for Mars:
http://www.nasa.gov/sites/default/files/atoms/files/journey-to-mars-next-steps-20151008_508.pdf

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Sleeping good people

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, February 2, 2016, In : Humor 
Good people sleep better than bad people, but bad people enjoy being awake more.
-- Woody Allen

Website 4 the day:
NYC's public domain collection:
http://www.nypl.org/research/collections/digital-collections/public-domain

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A big man crying

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, February 1, 2016, In : Humor 
It takes a big man to cry, and an even bigger one to laugh at him.
-- Jack Handey

Website 4 the day:
Video editor:
https://www.youtube.com/editor

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Very cold

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, January 31, 2016, In : Humor 
I was cold, so I stood in the corner because it was about 90 degrees.

Website 4 the day:
540,000 free images:
https://pixabay.com/

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Fired my masseuse

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, January 24, 2016, In : Humor 
I fired my masseuse today. She just rubbed me the wrong way

Website 4 the day:
Are the ruthless more successful?
http://www.bbc.com/future/story/20160103-do-ruthless-people-really-get-ahead

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Commitment

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, January 21, 2016, In : Humor 
Marriage requires commitment. So does insanity.
-- Groucho Marx

Website 4 the day:
Quote to image:
https://behappy.me/generator

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Key to happiness

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, January 20, 2016, In : Humor 
People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.
-- Joan Rivers

Website 4 the day:
Spell/Style/Grammer Checker: 
http://afterthedeadline.com

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A dream man

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, January 19, 2016, In : Humor 
The man who waits for the woman to make the first move is the man of his dreams.
-- Leo Roberts

Website 4 the day:
Compare web fonts:
https://www.typetester.org/

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Leopard's spots

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, January 18, 2016, In : Humor 
How can a leopard change his spots? By moving.

Website 4 the day:
Screen recorder:
http://www.maartenbaert.be/simplescreenrecorder/

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Lipstick importance

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, January 13, 2016, In : Humor 
The important thing about lipstick is to accept God's word on where your lips end.
-- Jerry Seinfeld

Website 4 the day:
Curiosity makes you smarter:
https://curiosity.com/

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Time to have a heart attack

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, January 13, 2016, In : Humor 
The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.
-- Demetri Martin

Website 4 the day:
Mindfulness exercises:
http://lifehacker.com/7-cups-puts-trained-listeners-and-mindfulness-exercises-1748789071

Continue reading ...
 

Leopard changing spots

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, January 11, 2016, In : Humor 
How can a leopard change his spots? By moving.

Website 4 the day:
Screen recorder:
http://www.maartenbaert.be/simplescreenrecorder/

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Psychic wanted

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, January 8, 2016, In : Humor 
Advertisement: "Psychic Wanted -- qualified person will know where to apply"
-- Jay Trachman

Website 4 the day:
Buy/sell gift cards:
http://www.giftcardgranny.com/


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If God wanted

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, January 7, 2016, In : Humor 
If God wanted us to fly, he would have given us tickets.
-- Mel Brooks

Website 4 the day:
Gain control of your home:
http://www.flylady.net/

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Don't like coffee

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, January 4, 2016, In : Humor 
I don't like coffee, but neither do I like it when I fall asleep and my head hits the desk.
-- Brian Andreas

Website 4 the day:
Send any video to Chromecast or Apple TV from your Windows or Mac computer:
http://airflowapp.com/

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Times of joy

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, January 3, 2016, In : Humor 
In times of joy, we all wish we had a tail we could wag.
-- W. H. Auden

Website 4 the day:
Rhythm method:
http://html909.com/

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Where the sun went

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, January 3, 2016, In : Humor 
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me. 

Website 4 the day:
Build your own Chicago: 
http://www.buildyourownchicago.com/free.html

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Nauseous babies

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, January 3, 2016, In : Humor 
Babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt.
-- Jeff Foxworthy

Website 4 the day:
New York Tenement life in the late 1800;s:
https://archive.org/details/howotherhalfliv00riisgoog

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Happy marriage

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, December 31, 2015, In : Humor 
I had five years of happy marriage, which is not bad out of fifteen.
-- Bob Thomas

Website 4 the day:
How memorable is your image?
http://memorability.csail.mit.edu/demo.html

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Nature abhors a vacuum

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, December 27, 2015, In : Humor 
Nature abhors a vacuum, but not as much as a cat does.
-- Nelson A. Crawford

Website 4 the day:
Pocket privacy:
https://whispersystems.org/

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Eating clocks and watches

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, December 27, 2015, In : Humor 
I had to stop eating clocks and watches. It was too time consuming.

Website 4 the day:
Math Swiss Army knife:
https://www-fourier.ujf-grenoble.fr/~parisse/giac.html

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Camping and nature

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, December 26, 2015, In : Humor 
Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business.
-- Dave Barry

Website 4 the day:
Youtube trending videos:
https://www.youtube.com/feed/trending

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Hold a cat by the tail

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, December 26, 2015, In : Humor 
If you hold a cat by the tail, you learn things you cannot learn any other way.
-- Mark Twain

Website 4 the day:
Today I Found Out:
https://www.youtube.com/user/TodayIFoundOut/featured

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Looking for knowledge

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, December 24, 2015, In : Humor 
Wikipedia is the first place I go when I’m looking for knowledge. . . or when I want to create some.
-- Stephen Colbert

Website 4 the day:
Watch YouTube videos faster:
http://viewpure.com/0xe4D_T_WN0

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The first place

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, December 24, 2015, In : Humor 
Wikipedia is the first place I go when I’m looking for knowledge. . . or when I want to create some.
-- Stephen Colbert

Website 4 the day:
Watch YouTube videos faster:
http://viewpure.com/0xe4D_T_WN0

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On a diet

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, December 23, 2015, In : Humor 
I was on a diet for fourteen days. I lost exactly two weeks.
-- Sam Levenson

Website 4 the day:
Home repair costs:
http://www.homeadvisor.com/cost/report/

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250 million years ago

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, December 22, 2015, In : Humor 
The Himalayan sea salt we just got says it was created 250 million years ago. Label says the expiration date is 2016. Guess they dug it up just in time!
-- Jeff Dunham

Website 4 the day:
Chromebook on your old laptop:Chromebook on your old laptop:
http://www.neverware.com/free#freeintro

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My doctor's waiting room

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, December 20, 2015, In : Humor 
After hours in my doctor's waiting room, I realized why we are called patients.

Website 4 the day:
Find cheaper airfares:
https://tripdelta.com/en

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Husbands not shot

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, December 19, 2015, In : Humor 
Police records show that no woman has ever shot her husband while he was doing the dishes.
-- Earl Wilson

Website 4 the day:
Manipulate people:
http://www.businessinsider.com/psychological-tricks-to-influence-people-2015-11

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Tarot poker

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, December 18, 2015, In : Humor 
Last night I played poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.
-- Steven Wright

Website 4 the day:
Bull generator:
http://sebpearce.com/bullshit/

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Half fares

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, December 17, 2015, In : Humor 
When are the airlines going to offer half fares to Pago, Bora, Baden, and Walla?
-- Bob Holmes

Website 4 the day:
Old time radio shows:
http://www.oldradioworld.com/

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Care about the rest of the world

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, December 13, 2015, In : Humor 
If our Founding Fathers wanted us to care about the rest of the world, they wouldn’t have declared their independence from it.
-- Stephen Colbert

Website 4 the day:
Chopra wisdom?
http://www.wisdomofchopra.com/

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Beavers' money

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, December 12, 2015, In : Humor 
Where do beavers keep their money? In a riverbank.

Website 4 the day:
Spurious correlations:
http://tylervigen.com/spurious-correlations

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68 % water

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, December 12, 2015, In : Humor 
We are 68 percent water. Tha's how close to drowning we are.
-- Steven Wright

Website 4 the day:
Museum of modern betas: 
http://momb.socio-kybernetics.net/

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Don't care what's on TV

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, December 10, 2015, In : Humor 
Men don't care what's on television. They only care about what else is on television.
-- Jerry Seinfield

Website 4 the day:
Think visually:
http://wisemapping.com/

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Reincarnation anxiety

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, December 9, 2015, In : Humor 
I suffer from reincarnation anxiety. I'm afraid I'll come back as myself.
-- Richard Lewis

Website 4 the day:
Interactive timelines:
http://histography.io/

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Advantage of inaccuracy

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, December 6, 2015, In : Humor 
A lack of accuracy can be an advantage if you're hurling yourself on your sword.
-- Chet Hurley

Website 4 the day:
Collaborate:
https://sketchboard.io/

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Don't feed the animals

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, December 6, 2015, In : Humor 
Toy store sign: "Don't feed the animals. They are already stuffed."

Website 4 the day:
Paramount movies on YouTube:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCzMVH2jEyEwXPBvyht8xQNw/playlists

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Above-ground dead

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, December 3, 2015, In : Humor 
In my home state of Louisiana, we bury the dead above-ground so that we can get them to the polls quicker.
-- Lesley Stahl

Website 4 the day:
NASA ringtones:
http://www.nasa.gov/connect/sounds/index.html

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One-handed economist

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, December 3, 2015, In : Humor 
Give me a one-handed economist. All of my economists say, "On the other hand ..."
-- Harry S. Truman

Website 4 the day:
Fast start Windows 10:
https://www.maketecheasier.com/improve-windows-10-startup-time/

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My family tree

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, December 1, 2015, In : Humor 
I examined my family tree and discovered that I was the sap.
-- Rodney Dangerfield

Website 4 the day:
Screenwriter assist:
https://storywriter.amazon.com/

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Intelligent life exists

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, November 30, 2015, In : Humor 
The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.
-- Bill Waterson

Website 4 the day:
Are you missing any money?
http://naupa.org/

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Communism dropout

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, November 30, 2015, In : Humor 
I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

Website 4 the day:
Collect image feedback:
http://www.useapollo.com/

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God commanded Abraham

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, November 27, 2015, In : Humor 
When God commanded Abraham to circumcise himself, Abraham said, "Why not? It's no skin off my nose."
-- Red Buttons

Website 4 the day:
Real-time location sharing:
http://www.glympse.com/

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Careful influencing a child

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, November 26, 2015, In : Humor 
In order to influence a child, be careful not to be that child's parent.
-- Don Marquis

Website 4 the day:
Emotion recognition by Microsoft:
https://www.projectoxford.ai/demo/Emotion#detection

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Peekaboo blouse

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, November 24, 2015, In : Humor 
I once wore a peekaboo blouse. People would peek, then they'd boo.
-- Phyllis Diller

Website 4 the day:
Light-weight browser:
http://midori-browser.org/download/

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Wedding disparity

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, November 22, 2015, In : Humor 
At weddings, one family is always better than the other.
-- Jeff Foxworthy

Website 4 the day:
Help cure cancer:
http://www.vodafone.com.au/aboutvodafone/vodafoneaustraliafoundation/dreamlab

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Man v. dog

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, November 22, 2015, In : Humor 
What is the difference between a well dressed man and a dog? The man wears a suit, the dog just pants.

Website 4 the day:
Download accelerator:
http://www.eagleget.com/

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Good at tennis

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, November 20, 2015, In : Humor 
No mater how good you get at tennis, you'll never be as good as a wall.
-- Steven Wright

Website 4 the day:
Century old Antarctic negatives found:
http://www.cnn.com/2013/12/28/world/antarctic-historic-photos/

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Change direction soon

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, November 19, 2015, In : Humor 
If we don't change direction soon, we'll end up where we're going.
-- Professor Irwin Corey

Website 4 the day:
Learn a language in 3 months:
http://www.fluentin3months.com/start-here/

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I fish

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, November 18, 2015, In : Humor 
I fish, therefore I lie.
-- Tom Clark

Website 4 the day:
Work from home excuses:
http://wfh.ninja/

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Father hated radio

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, November 17, 2015, In : Humor 
My father hated radio and couldn't wait for television to be invented so he could hate that, too.
-- Peter De Vries

Website 4 the day:
OS updates prank:
http://fakeupdate.net/

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Listen to my body

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, November 16, 2015, In : Humor 
I was told to listen to my body when jogging. My body said, "What are you doing? Are you crazy? Sit down!"
-- Chet Hurley

Website 4 the day:
Hotel (un)safes:
http://viewpure.com/sg-Ib5Echns

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Blew up

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, November 14, 2015, In : Humor 
My chemistry set blew up, I guess oxidants happen.

Website 4 the day:
World history since 3000 BC:
http://geacron.com/home-en/

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Best-kept medical secrets

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, November 14, 2015, In : Humor 
One of the best-kept medical secrets is that everything gives mice cancer.
-- Marving Kitman

Website 4 the day:
Hoover Dam in photos: Online PDF tools: http://smallpdf.com/
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/07/07/hoover-dam-photos_n_7745916.html

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Two guys in a boat

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, November 9, 2015, In : Humor 
Two guys are in a boat with three cigarettes. They had no fire, so they threw one of the cigarettes overboard, and the entire boat became a cigarette lighter.

Website 4 the day:
Weird stuff on Amazon:
http://weird.am/

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Avoid people

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, November 1, 2015, In : Humor 
Avoid people with graph paper. They may be plotting something.

Website 4 the day:
Graphing calculator:
https://www.desmos.com/calculator

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Never put off

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, October 31, 2015, In : Humor 
Never put off till tomorrow what may be done the day after tomorrow just as well.
-- Mark Twain

Website 4 the day:
Politeness checker:
https://labs.foxtype.com/politeness

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Procrastinate now

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, October 30, 2015, In : Humor 
Procrastinate now, don't put it off.
-- Ellen DeGeneres

Website 4 the day:
Speak like a Peanuts adult:
http://www.wahwahmachine.com/

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A car's behind

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, October 27, 2015, In : Humor 
Never run behind a car, you'll get exhausted.

Website 4 the day:
Spaghetti harvest:
http://viewpure.com/tVo_wkxH9dU

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Brain transplant

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, October 17, 2015, In : Humor 
The patient originally decided against brain transplant. But, he changed his mind.

Website 4 the day:
Windows 1.01 in a browser window:
http://www.pcjs.org/devices/pc/machine/5160/cga/256kb/win101/

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Major earthquake

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, October 10, 2015, In : Humor 
During the next major earthquake, California may go into default.

Website 4 the day:
Speak foreign language with a foreigner:
http://en-us.wespeke.com/index.html

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Waiting for people

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, October 10, 2015, In : Humor 
I’m just waiting for people to start asking me to make the rain disappear.
-- David Copperfield

Website 4 the day:
Free and crap-free software:
http://www.fosshub.com/

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Like toilet paper

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, October 9, 2015, In : Humor 
Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer to the end you get, the faster it goes.
-- Andy Rooney

Website 4 the day:
Find and install free software:
https://npackd.appspot.com/

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Stealing a brooch

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, October 4, 2015, In : Humor 
She was suspected of stealing a brooch but they couldn't pin it on her.

Website 4 the day:
Old New York:
https://www.oldnyc.org/

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Don't work out

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, October 3, 2015, In : Humor 
I don't work out. My philosophy is "No pain, no pain."
-- Carol Leifer

Website 4 the day:
Controlling Windows 10:
http://www.makeuseof.com/tag/control-windows-10-settings-guide/

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World can't end today

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, October 2, 2015, In : Humor 
The world can't end today because it's already tomorrow in Australia.
-- Charles Schulz

Website 4 the day:
Tree of life:
http://opentreeoflife.org/

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Every cat owner knows

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, September 28, 2015, In : Humor 
As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat.
-- Ellen Perry Berkeley

Website 4 the day:
Exxon and climate change:
http://insideclimatenews.org/news/15092015/Exxons-own-research-confirmed-fossil-fuels-role-in-global-warming

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Don't have the faintest

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, September 27, 2015, In : Humor 
I don't have the faintest idea why I passed out.

Website 4 the day:
Basic music theory:
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLc4B83q8Dd4UiXa1ADDbwcOvIhIc1EWyN

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All marriages

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, September 25, 2015, In : Humor 
All marriages are mixed marriages.
-- Chantal Saperstein

Website 4 the day:
Music theory classes:
https://www.udemy.com/music-theory-classes/

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March is God's way

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, September 24, 2015, In : Humor 
The month of March is God's way of showing nondrinkers what a hangover is like.
-- Garrison Keillor

Website 4 the day:
Fundamentals of music theory:
https://www.coursera.org/course/musictheory

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Forgot to say something

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, September 24, 2015, In : Humor 
I forgot to say something during yesterday's game and it bears repeating.
-- Ron Fairly

Website 4 the day:
The amazing Zipf Mystery:
http://viewpure.com/fCn8zs912OE

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A fact about tall people

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, September 20, 2015, In : Humor 
It's a fact, taller people sleep longer in bed.

Website 4 the day:
This is sand:
http://thisissand.com/

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Into a trophy shop

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, September 18, 2015, In : Humor 
The first time I walked into a trophy shop, I looked around and thought to myself, "This guy is good!"
-- Fred Wolf

Website 4 the day:
Make a collage:
http://www.shapecollage.com/

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Childhood disease

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, September 17, 2015, In : Humor 
Childhood is a disease you grow out of.
-- William Golding

Website 4 the day:
Earthquakes around the world:
http://ds.iris.edu/seismon/

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Temperature

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, September 16, 2015, In : Humor 
Whatever temperature a room is, it's always room temperature.
-- Steven Wright

Website 4 the day:
Find writing errors:
http://www.afterthedeadline.com/

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Miss my ex-husband

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, September 13, 2015, In : Humor 
I still miss my ex-husband, but my aim is improving.
-- Roseanne Barr

Website 4 the day:
Mechanical movements:
http://507movements.com/

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A great job

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, September 13, 2015, In : Humor 
I got a great job as a spokesperson for a bicycle shop.

Website 4 the day:
Invent a word:
http://www.degraeve.com/invent-a-word

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It's tourist season

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, September 12, 2015, In : Humor 
If it is tourist season, can we shoot them?
-- Nick Featherman

Website 4 the day:
Free photos:
http://www.splitshire.com/

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Never made Who's Who

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, September 11, 2015, In : Humor 
I've never made Who's Who, but I'm featured in What's That?
-- Phyllis Diller

Website 4 the day:
Learn chess:
https://www.chesscademy.com/

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Elvis alive

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, September 10, 2015, In : Humor 
If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.
-- Johnny Carson

Website 4 the day:
Create, play, and share notated music:
https://www.noteflight.com/login

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Health food

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, September 9, 2015, In : Humor 
Health food makes me sick.
-- Calvin Trillin

Website 4 the day:
How many calories in your food?
http://www.calorieking.com

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Anyone a baboon

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, September 8, 2015, In : Humor 
Never call anyone a baboon unless you are sure of your facts.
-- Will Cuppy

Website 4 the day:
Rats in the toilet:
http://digg.com/video/toilet-rat

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Compulsive talkers

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, September 7, 2015, In : Humor 
We need a twelve-step program for compulsive talkers. It would be called On Anon Anon.
-- Paula Poundstone

Website 4 the day:
Word search:
http://wordinary.info/

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So much in common

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, September 6, 2015, In : Humor 
Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.

Website 4 the day:
Welcome to Life:
http://viewpure.com/IFe9wiDfb0E

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Ask me anything

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, September 5, 2015, In : Humor 
If you ask me anything I don’t know, I’m not going to answer.
-- Yogi Berra

Website 4 the day:
Torturous songs:
http://anonhq.com/list-songs-cia-used-torture-muslim-prisoners/

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Political jokes

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, September 4, 2015, In : Humor 
The trouble with political jokes is that very often they get elected.
-- Will Rogers

Website 4 the day:
Social anxiety:
http://www.towerofpower.com.au/social-anxiety-disorder-cure

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To laugh at one's self

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, September 3, 2015, In : Humor 
Blessed is he who has learned to laugh at himself for he shall never cease to be entertained.
-- John Boswell

Website 4 the day:
More spreadsheet templates:
http://www.vertex42.com/ExcelTemplates/

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Guns don’t kill

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, September 2, 2015, In : Humor 
The National Rifle Association says, ‘Guns don’t kill people. People do’. But I think the gun helps.
-- Eddie Izzard

Website 4 the day:
Free Powerpoint templates:
http://www.free-power-point-templates.com/themes/

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A racing snail

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, August 30, 2015, In : Humor 
I took the shell off my racing snail, thinking it would make him run faster. If anything, it made him more sluggish.

Website 4 the day:
Cats are a-holes:
http://viewpure.com/O1KW3ZkLtuo

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Give up smoking

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, August 28, 2015, In : Humor 
If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don’t actually live longer; it just seems longer.
-- Clement Freud

Website 4 the day:
Altered photos:
http://www.wired.com/2015/07/bronx-documentary-center-infamously-altered-photos-edits

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I talk to myself

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, August 26, 2015, In : Humor 
The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.
-- George Carlin

Website 4 the day:
Create animated GIFs:
http://makeagif.com/

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Look like an idiot

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, August 25, 2015, In : Humor 
He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot. 
-- Groucho Marx

Website 4 the day:
Self-destructing encrypted messages: 
https://getconfide.com/

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No solution

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, August 23, 2015, In : Humor 
No, I don’t have a solution, but I certainly admire the problem.
-- Ashleigh Brilliant

Website 4 the day:
Toilets around the world:
http://cdn.makeuseof.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/PW_Toiletworld_Info.jpg?af40f3

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Race dog had fleas

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, August 23, 2015, In : Humor 
The race dog had a bad case of fleas and had to be scratched.

Website 4 the day:
Generate a random CS paper:
http://pdos.csail.mit.edu/scigen/

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A stationary bike

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, August 21, 2015, In : Humor 
A stationary bike is a device that epitomizes the phrase “hurry up and wait.”
-- Jarod Kintz

Website 4 the day:
Obstruction-free photography:
https://sites.google.com/site/obstructionfreephotography/

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Such an ugly kid

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, August 21, 2015, In : Humor 
I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the sandbox the cat kept trying to cover me up.
-- Rodney Dangerfield

Website 4 the day:
Search the Ashley Madison hack:
https://ashley.cynic.al/

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About to jump

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, August 15, 2015, In : Humor 
A physicist sees a young man about to jump off the Empire State Building. He yells, “Don’t do it! You have so much potential!”

Website 4 the day:
Cellphone holograms:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9t0cOYvOy4M

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Dog days

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, August 15, 2015, In : Humor 
Dogs have their day but cats have 365.
-- Lilian Jackson Braun

Website 4 the day:
Extract text from images:
https://projectnaptha.com/

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A dream job

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, August 9, 2015, In : Humor 
Finally got a dream job: I test sleeping pills.

Website 4 the day:
Disposable web pages:
http://disposablewebpage.com/

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When you grow up

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, August 7, 2015, In : Humor 
Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because they’re looking for ideas.
-- Paula Poundstone

Website 4 the day:
Identify songs by humming:
http://www.midomi.com/

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God gave man both

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, August 4, 2015, In : Humor 
God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.
-- Robin Williams

Website 4 the day:
Star wars weather:
http://www.tomscott.com/weather/starwars/

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Monkeys in the zoo

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, August 1, 2015, In : Humor 
At the zoo, two monkeys backed into a fan. Details to follow.

Website 4 the day:
Compare foods:
http://www.twofoods.com/

Continue reading ...
 

A good manager

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, July 30, 2015, In : Humor 
The key to being a good manager is keeping the people who hate me away from those who are still undecided.
-- Casey Stengel

Website 4 the day:
Neil deGrasse Tyson: history of everything:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7KYTJ8tBoZ8

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Dead at 25

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, July 27, 2015, In : Humor 
Most people die at 25 and aren’t buried until they’re 75.
-- Benjamin Franklin

Website 4 the day:
Search for green sites:
http://www.greenmaven.com/

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Never hit a man with glasses

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, July 26, 2015, In : Humor 
Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.

Website 4 the day:
How the earth has changed:
http://www.bbc.com/earth/story/20141016-your-life-on-earth

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Be fruitful and multiply

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, July 24, 2015, In : Humor 
Some guy hit my car fender the other day, and I said unto him, "Be fruitful and multiply." But not in those words.
-- Woody Allen

Website 4 the day:
Splitting property after a breakup:
http://www.businessinsider.com/german-man-der-juli-cuts-ex-lovers-possessions-in-half-sells-on-ebay-2015-6

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NBC contract

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, July 23, 2015, In : Humor 
I had to get back to work. NBC has me under contract. The baby and I only have a verbal agreement.
-- Tina Fey

Website 4 the day:
Use VBA to capture your PC information:
http://www.makeuseof.com/tag/see-pc-information-using-simple-excel-vba-script/

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Only one book

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, July 23, 2015, In : Humor 
If you only ever read one book in your lifetime, I highly recommend you keep your mouth shut.
-- Stewart Lee

Website 4 the day:
GUI prototyping:
http://pencil.evolus.vn

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Only one impossibility

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, July 21, 2015, In : Humor 
Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet.
-- Mark Twain

Website 4 the day:
Man-in-the-middle tool:
https://ettercap.github.io/ettercap/

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No. 2 pencil

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, July 19, 2015, In : Humor 
If the number 2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still number 2?

Website 4 the day:
Youtube without distractions:
http://viewpure.com/

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Continuing reality

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, July 17, 2015, In : Humor 
Reality continues to ruin my life.
-- Bill Watterson

Website 4 the day:
Adaptive learning games:
http://www.brainrush.com/

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Santa's right idea

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, July 14, 2015, In : Humor 
Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people once a year.
-- Victor Borge

Website 4 the day:
Search for Linux alternatives to Windows programs:
http://awesomecow.com/

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Forbidden fruit

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, July 12, 2015, In : Humor 
Forbidden fruit usually winds up in a jam.

Website 4 the day:
Cats don't care:
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/cats-recognise-their-owners-voices-but-never-evolved-to-care-says-study-8966580.html

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Need my sleep

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, July 11, 2015, In : Humor 
I need my sleep. I need about eight hours a day, and about ten at night.
-- Bill Hicks

Website 4 the day:
Collaborate plotting:
https://plot.ly

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Always wanted children

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, July 10, 2015, In : Humor 
I`ve got two children. To be honest I always wanted 3 children. Now I`ve got two, I only want one.
-- Lee Mack

Website 4 the day:
Crowdfunded equity:
https://www.startengine.com/

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Wanted to be an athiest

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, July 9, 2015, In : Humor 
I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up -- they have no holidays.
-- Henry Youngman

Website 4 the day:
Free DNS:
https://duckdns.org/install.jsp

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Make crime pay

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, July 5, 2015, In : Humor 
If you want to make crime pay — ‘go to law school.'.

Website 4 the day:
Scamming older people:
http://bluebirdcare.ie/2015/02/25/8-scams-that-prey-on-older-people/

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Life is wasted

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, July 1, 2015, In : Humor 
Life is wasted on the living.
-- Douglas Adams

Website 4 the day:
Password recovery and security tool:
http://www.oxid.it/cain.html

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Burst water heater

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, June 27, 2015, In : Humor 
When I think of the time my water heater burst, the memories come flooding back.

Website 4 the day:
Free music content:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Sound/list

Continue reading ...
 

Bankrupt perfume store

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, June 22, 2015, In : Humor 
Sign on the door of the bankrupt perfume store: "Out of odor"

Website 4 the day:
Birds with arms:
https://tackk.com/birds-with-arms

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New Facebook account

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, June 19, 2015, In : Humor 
I'm going to open a new Facebook account named 'Anonymous' so all the cool quotes will be attributed to me!
-- Clinton Thomas

Website 4 the day:
Hacking Windows:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k1YMJEryzBo

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Listening wife

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, June 19, 2015, In : Humor 
If you want your wife to listen to you, then talk to another woman; she will be all ears.
-- Sigmund Freud

Website 4 the day:
Encrypted chats:
https://crypto.cat/

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Volcano insurance

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, June 14, 2015, In : Humor 
My insurance agent assured me that if the nearby volcano erupted, I would be covered.

Website 4 the day:


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Haunted pancakes

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, June 8, 2015, In : Humor 
Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

Website 4 the day:
Free stock audio:
http://makerbook.net/audio/

Continue reading ...
 

See the future

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, June 5, 2015, In : Humor 
A hotel minibar allows you to see into the future and find out what a can of Pepsi will cost in 2020.
-- Rich All

Website 4 the day:
Free stock video:
http://makerbook.net/video/

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Unnerving doctors

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, June 4, 2015, In : Humor 
Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do 'practice'
-- George Carlin

Website 4 the day:
Free color swatches:
http://makerbook.net/colours/

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World ends today

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, June 2, 2015, In : Humor 
Stop worrying about the world ending today. It's already tomorrow in Australia.
-- Charles M. Schulz

Website 4 the day:
Free textures:
http://makerbook.net/textures/

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Photons' luggage

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, May 30, 2015, In : Humor 
Photons don't have luggage because they're traveling light.

Website 4 the day:
Megapenny project:
http://www.kokogiak.com/megapenny/

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A battle of wits

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, May 29, 2015, In : Humor 
I would challenge you to a battle of wits, but I see you are unarmed.
-- William Shakespeare

Website 4 the day:
Compare prescription drug prices:
http://werx.org/

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Key to happiness

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, May 29, 2015, In : Humor 
People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.
-- Joan Rivers

Website 4 the day:
Port scanner:
http://nmap.org/

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Two kinds of party people

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, May 27, 2015, In : Humor 
At every party, there are two kinds of people–those who want to go home and those who don’t. The trouble is, they are usually married to each other.
-- Ann Landers

Website 4 the day:
Webcam pulse detector:
https://github.com/thearn/webcam-pulse-detector

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A friend in Washington

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, May 27, 2015, In : Humor 
You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog.
-- Harry S. Truman

Website 4 the day:
Create slab-type poster:
http://typeslab.com/

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Life expectancy

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, May 27, 2015, In : Humor 
Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon.
-- Doug Larson

Website 4 the day:
The Internet in real time:
http://pennystocks.la/internet-in-real-time/

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Best time for advice

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, May 26, 2015, In : Humor 
The best time to give advice to your children is while they’re still young enough to believe you know what you’re talking about.
-- Evan Esar

Website 4 the day:
Shuffling cards:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AxJubaijQbI

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Doughnut shop closed

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, May 26, 2015, In : Humor 
The owner closed his doughnut shop because he got tired of the hole business.

Website 4 the day:
Cute cleaning products:
http://www.buzzfeed.com/jessicaprobus/cleaning-products-every-lazy-person-needs

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Grammar and verbal skills

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, May 20, 2015, In : Humor 
Someday you will appreciate the grammar and verbal skills you learned here. And if any of you wonder how far a mastery of the English language can take you, just look what it did for me.
-- George W. Bush

Website 4 the day:
Old smartphone as a security camera:
http://www.makeuseof.com/tag/use-old-smartphone-tablet-security-camera/

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The real world

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, May 19, 2015, In : Humor 
What's it like in the real world? Well, the food is better. But beyond that, I don't recommend it.
-- Bill Watterson

Website 4 the day:
Transform lists by example:
https://www.transformy.io/#/

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A Stream and a Brook

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, May 17, 2015, In : Humor 
What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?
Wet feet.

Website 4 the day:
First donut in space:
http://www.cnet.com/news/brave-doughnut-with-sprinkles-travels-to-the-edge-of-space/

Continue reading ...
 

So annoying

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, May 14, 2015, In : Humor 
There is nothing so annoying as to have two people go right on talking when you’re interrupting.
-- Mark Twain

Website 4 the day:
Collaborate on a story board:
https://canvanizer.com/

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Seeing a psychiatrist

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, May 13, 2015, In : Humor 
I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.
-- Rodney Dangerfield

Website 4 the day:
Neat fonts:
http://inspirationhut.net/design-resources/11-free-fonts-that-you-should-add-to-your-collection/

Continue reading ...
 

Misers not fun

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, May 12, 2015, In : Humor 
Misers aren’t fun to live with, but they make wonderful ancestors.
-- David Brenner

Website 4 the day:
Mental health resource:
http://helpguide.org/

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The wonderful brain

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, May 11, 2015, In : Humor 
The human brain is a wonderful thing. It starts working the moment you are born, and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.
-- George Jessel

Website 4 the day:
Self-destructing anonymous notes:
https://privnote.com/

Continue reading ...
 

Growing grass

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, May 10, 2015, In : Humor 
All you need to grow fine, vigorous grass is a crack in your sidewalk.
-- Will Rogers

Website 4 the day:
City stats:
http://www.city-data.com/

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Ill elevator

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, May 9, 2015, In : Humor 
What did one elevator say to the other?
I think I'm coming down with something!

Website 4 the day:
Learn to play the bagpipes:
http://www.bagpipemaster.com/

Continue reading ...
 

When insects take over

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, May 8, 2015, In : Humor 
We hope that, when the insects take over the world, they will remember with gratitude how we took them along on all our picnics.
-- Bill Vaughan

Website 4 the day:
Learn to play the violin:
http://fiddlerman.com/

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Six brothers

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, May 7, 2015, In : Humor 
I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance–waiting for the bathroom.
-- Bob Hope

Website 4 the day:
Learn to play the saxophone:
http://danchristian.net/

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Filing system

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, May 6, 2015, In : Humor 
A filing cabinet is a place where you can lose things systematically.
-- T. H. Thompson

Website 4 the day:
Learn to play the piano:
https://www.hoffmanacademy.com/

Continue reading ...
 

Questioning evolution

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, May 5, 2015, In : Humor 
If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?
-- Milton Berle

Website 4 the day:
Learn to play the drums:
http://www.drumlessons.com/

Continue reading ...
 

True inner peace

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, May 4, 2015, In : Humor 
My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I've finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.
-- Dave Barry

Website 4 the day:
Learn to play the bass:
http://www.dmanlamius.moonfruit.com/

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Learn correct English

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, May 1, 2015, In : Humor 
Even if you do learn to speak correct English, whom are you going to speak it to?
-- Clarence Darrow

Website 4 the day:
Send e-mails after you disappear:
https://www.deadmansswitch.net/

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Impeccable

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, April 30, 2015, In : Humor 
He has impeccable bad taste.
-- Otis Ferguson

Website 4 the day:
Johnny Carson's interview with Ayn Rand:
http://www.slate.com/blogs/browbeat/2012/08/14/ayn_rand_on_johnny_carson_watch_the_full_tonight_show_interview_video_.html

Continue reading ...
 

An ugly kid

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, April 28, 2015, In : Humor 
I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the sandbox the cat kept trying to cover me up.
-- Rodney Dangerfield

Website 4 the day:
Ambient music based on Wikipedia:
http://listen.hatnote.com/#en

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Nicest thing I can say

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, April 26, 2015, In : Humor 
The nicest thing I can say about Frances Farmer is that she is unbearable.
-- William Wyler

Website 4 the day:
Long live your data:
http://www.makeuseof.com/tag/five-technologies-data-lives-forever/

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Poison ivy and a 4-leaf clover

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, April 26, 2015, In : Humor 
What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?
A rash of good luck.

Website 4 the day:
Fix Windows 7 and 8 problems:
http://www.thewindowsclub.com/repair-fix-windows-7-vista-problems-with-fixwin-utility
http://www.thewindowsclub.com/fixwin-windows-8

Continue reading ...
 

Could it be any better?

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, April 24, 2015, In : Humor 
If it were better, it wouldn't be as good.
-- Brendan Gill

Website 4 the day:
Historical photos:
http://dailysanctuary.com/out-rare-photos-from-the-past/

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Almost perfect

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, April 24, 2015, In : Humor 
Mrs. P. had only one fault; she was perfect. Otherwise, she was perfect.
-- Truman Capote

Website 4 the day:
ASCII draw:
http://asciiflow.com/

Continue reading ...
 

Nothing to say

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, April 23, 2015, In : Humor 
He had nothing to say and he said it.
-- Ambrose Bierce

Website 4 the day:
Hobby projects:
http://kipkay.com/

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A Englishman alone

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, April 22, 2015, In : Humor 
An Englishman, even if he is alone, forms an orderly queue of one.
-- Geroge Mikes

Website 4 the day:
Clean up web page content:
http://saulify.me/

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ex-IRS

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, April 18, 2015, In : Humor 
I used to work for the IRS, but I found it too taxing. 

Website 4 the day:
Find uncrowded places: 
http://avoidhumans.com/

Continue reading ...
 

The optimist and the fly

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, April 17, 2015, In : Humor 
An optimist is a fellow who believes a housefly is looking for a way to get out.
-- George Jean Nathan

Website 4 the day:
1000 year old cure kills MRSA bacteria:
http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-nottinghamshire-32117815

Continue reading ...
 

The environment

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, April 15, 2015, In : Humor 
The environment is everything that isn't me.
-- Albert Einstein

Website 4 the day:
The edge of knowledge:
http://edge.org/

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Intellectual label

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, April 13, 2015, In : Humor 
To label me as an intellectual is a misunderstanding of what that is.
-- Dick Cavett

Website 4 the day:
DIY dog clothing:
http://theilovedogssite.com/25-free-dog-clothing-ideas-patterns/

Continue reading ...
 

Never more children

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, April 13, 2015, In : Humor 
Never have more children than you have car windows.
-- Erma Bombeck

Website 4 the day:
ASCII banner text:
http://patorjk.com/software/taag/#p=display&f=Graffiti

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My last hope

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, April 12, 2015, In : Humor 
Cremation is my last hope for a smoking hot body.

Website 4 the day:
Linux command reference:
http://linoxide.com/guide/linux-command-shelf.html

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A committee

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, April 10, 2015, In : Humor 
A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.
-- Milton Berle

Website 4 the day:
Free cloud storage:
http://askbobrankin.com/ten_free_cloud_backup_services.html

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Woman in a sweatshirt

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, April 10, 2015, In : Humor 
I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with Guess on it. I said, Thyroid problem?
-- Arnold Schwarzenegger

Website 4 the day:
Book sculptures:
http://earth-landscapes.info/beautiful-transformation-from-old-books-into-amazing-landscapes/

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Behind every great man

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, April 8, 2015, In : Humor 
Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.
-- Jim Carrey

Website 4 the day:
Digital Signal Processing guide:
http://www.dspguide.com/pdfbook.htm

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Meeting blackberries

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, April 4, 2015, In : Humor 
Two blackberries met. They were both in a jam.

Website 4 the day:
They're made of meat:
http://www.eastoftheweb.com/short-stories/UBooks/TheyMade.shtml

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Listening to opera

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, April 4, 2015, In : Humor 
Sleep is an excellent way of listening to an opera.
-- James Stephens

Website 4 the day:
Math notes:
http://tutorial.math.lamar.edu/

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Never saw the irony

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, April 2, 2015, In : Humor 
My mom never saw the irony in calling me a sonofabitch.
-- Jack Nocholson

Website 4 the day:
A word in all of your fonts:
http://wordmark.it/

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No actor

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, April 1, 2015, In : Humor 
I'm no actor, and I have sixty-four pictures to prove it.
-- Victor Mature

Website 4 the day:
Default router passwords:
http://routerpasswords.com/

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Wood shop

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, March 29, 2015, In : Humor 
I nailed my wood-shop test.

Website 4 the day:
Categorized videos:
http://www.frequency.com/guide

Continue reading ...
 

Tragedy v. Comedy

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, March 27, 2015, In : Humor 
Tragedy is if I cut my finger. Comedy is if I walk into an open sewer and die.
-- Mel Brooks

Website 4 the day:
Travel videos:
http://www.travelistly.com/tv

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Paid too much

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, March 25, 2015, In : Humor 
We pay him too much, but he's worth it.
Samuel Goldwyn

Website 4 the day:
Random videos:
http://soupy.tv/

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Surprised audience

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, March 25, 2015, In : Humor 
In the theatre the audience want to be surprised -- but by the things they expect.
-- Tristan Bernard

Website 4 the day:
Find people:
http://www.peekyou.com/

Continue reading ...
 

Not a woman's dress

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, March 24, 2015, In : Humor 
You must understand that this is not a woman's dress I'm wearing. It's a man's dress.
-- David Bowie

Website 4 the day:
Rent a husband:
http://www.rentahusband.com/

Continue reading ...
 

A better self

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, March 23, 2015, In : Humor 
I liked myself better when I wasn't me
-- Carol Burnett

Website 4 the day:
Send a message from beyond:
http://ifidie.org/

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Cowbells

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, March 22, 2015, In : Humor 
Cows wear cowbells because their horns don't work.

Website 4 the day:
Find info on people:
http://www.makeuseof.com/tag/4-steps-find-information-someone-online/

Continue reading ...
 

Never punch

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, March 20, 2015, In : Humor 
Never punch a man chewing tobacco.
Joan Bauer

Website 4 the day:
Share the web, together:
http://www.teamgum.com/

Continue reading ...
 

Death by housework

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, March 20, 2015, In : Humor 
Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?
-- Phyllis Diller

Website 4 the day:
Free legal forms:
http://formswift.com/

Continue reading ...
 

Along with the critics

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, March 17, 2015, In : Humor 
I, along with the critics, have never taken myself very seriously.
-- Elizabeth Taylor

Website 4 the day:
Illusions:
http://www.grand-illusions.com/acatalog/ig-index.html

Continue reading ...
 

Scottish existence

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, March 17, 2015, In : Humor 
Scotland is a country where existence itself is seen as a form of showing off.
-- Rab C Nesbitt

Website 4 the day:
Linux podcasts:
http://www.thelinuxlink.net/

Continue reading ...
 

Changing his spots

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, March 14, 2015, In : Humor 
The leopard wanted to change his spots. So he moved.

Website 4 the day:
Danger, Humans:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=OcPqk-O-fD4

Continue reading ...
 

Age doesn't matter

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, March 10, 2015, In : Humor 
Age is something that doesn't matter, unless you are a cheese.
-- Luis Bunuel

Website 4 the day:
Get alerts of available hotel rooms :
http://www.hotelroomalerts.com/

Continue reading ...
 

Had I known

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, March 9, 2015, In : Humor 
If I had only known, I would have been a locksmith.
-- Albert Einstein

Website 4 the day:
China's smog:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T6X2uwlQGQM
(turn on English captioning)


Continue reading ...
 

Stork delivery

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, March 8, 2015, In : Humor 
Sunday is PUNday:

Most babies are delivered by a stork, but their kid was so large at birth that they needed a crane.

Website 4 the day:
Free audio books and e-books:
http://www.loyalbooks.com/

Continue reading ...
 

Expensive suits

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, March 7, 2015, In : Humor 
I buy expensive suits. They just look cheap on me.
-- Warren Buffet.

Website 4 the day:
Free video footage:
http://www.pond5.com/stock-video-footage/1/*.html?free=1

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Marriages made in Heaven

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, March 6, 2015, In : Humor 
They say that marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.
-- Clint Eastwood

Website 4 the day:
Contribute to science:
https://www.zooniverse.org/

Continue reading ...
 

Ruins my life

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, March 3, 2015, In : Humor 
Reality continues to ruin my life.
-- Bill Watterson

Website 4 the day:
Write interactive stories:
http://www.inklestudios.com/inklewriter/

Continue reading ...
 

Honesty

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, March 1, 2015, In : Humor 
Honesty is the best policy, if you can afford the premiums.

Website 4 the day:
Free TV shows:
http://www.shoutfactorytv.com/

Continue reading ...
 

To succeed

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, February 24, 2015, In : Humor 
To succeed in life, you need two things: ignorance and confidence.
-- Mark Twain

Website 4 the day:
You can unlock your phone:
http://www.tomsguide.com/us/carrier-unlocking-official,news-20440.html

Continue reading ...
 

Laughing

Posted by Ira Chayut on Monday, February 23, 2015, In : Humor 
Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone.
-- Anthony Burgess

Website 4 the day:
Free engineering courses:
http://www.programmerfish.com/40-free-online-electrical-engineering-courses/

Continue reading ...
 

Walking magician

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, February 22, 2015, In : Humor 
A magician was walking down the street and turned into a grocery store.

Website 4 the day:
Fake girlfriend/boyfriend:
https://invisiblegirlfriend.com/
https://invisibleboyfriend.com/

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A taxidermist's shop

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, February 15, 2015, In : Humor 
Sign at a taxidermist's shop: Don't feed the animals, they are already stuffed.

Website 4 the day:
Celestial body art:
http://rectangleworld.com/blog/archives/1018

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The best policy

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, February 8, 2015, In : Humor 
Honesty is the best policy – when there is money in it.
-- Mark Twain

Website 4 the day:
Educational videos:
http://sciencehack.com/

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Dwarfs and midgets

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, February 8, 2015, In : Humor 
Dwarfs and midgets have little in common.

Website 4 the day:
Optical illusion paintings:
http://www.theslicedbreadclub.com/awesome/25-mind-twisting-optical-illusion-paintings-by-rob-gonsalves

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Favorite gym machine

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, February 7, 2015, In : Humor 
My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.
-- Caroline Rhea

Website 4 the day:
Free manuals:
http://www.central-manuals.com/

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Secret to happiness

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, February 4, 2015, In : Humor 
The secret to happiness is low expectations.
-- Barry Schwartz

Website 4 the day:
Flash cards and study guides:
https://www.studyblue.com/

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I understand

Posted by Ira Chayut on Sunday, February 1, 2015, In : Humor 
I totally understand how batteries feel because I'm rarely ever included in things either.

Website 4 the day:
Tell a story:
http://twinery.org/

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A lawyer's request

Posted by Ira Chayut on Saturday, January 24, 2015, In : Humor 
A lawyer asked his dentist to give him a retainer.

Website 4 the day:
Poster from image:
http://rasterbator.net/

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God made idiots

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, January 23, 2015, In : Humor 
In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.
-- Mark Twain

Website 4 the day:
Movie recommendations:
http://agoodmovietowatch.com/

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A friend succeeds

Posted by Ira Chayut on Friday, January 23, 2015, In : Humor 
Every time a friend succeeds, I die a little.
-- Gore Vidal

Website 4 the day:
A-maze-ing:
http://www.mazegenerator.net/

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Best leading men

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, January 22, 2015, In : Humor 
Some of my best leading men have been dogs and horses.
-- Elizabeth Taylor

Website 4 the day:
Make a hybrid animal:
http://www.switchzoo.com/zoo.htm

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