Browsing Archive: December, 2023

My grandpa's addiction

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, December 14, 2023, In : Humor

My grandpa had an addiction to Viagra and no one is taking it harder than grandma.

Website 4 the day:

Are you paid fairly?
https://www.glassdoor.com/Salaries/index.htm

I was a drunk

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, December 14, 2023, In : Humor

I was a drunk, you have to be richer than I was to be an alcoholic.
-- Terry Pratchett

Website 4 the day:

Crossword puzzles:
https://www.boatloadpuzzles.com/playcrossword

Both my wives

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, December 14, 2023, In : Humor

I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn't.
-- Patrick Murray

Website 4 the day:

What to read next:
https://www.whatshouldireadnext.com/

Tabloids

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, December 14, 2023, In : Humor

People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.
-- Jerry Seinfeld

Website 4 the day:

Be online without being tracked:
https://duckduckgo.com/

A filing cabinet

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, December 14, 2023, In : Humor

A filing cabinet is a place where you can lose things systematically.
-- T. H. Thompson

Website 4 the day:

Online drawing:
https://kleki.com/

A big-screen TV

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, December 14, 2023, In : Humor

My husband wanted one of those big-screen TVs for his birthday. So I just moved his chair closer to the one we have already.
-- Wendy Liebman

Website 4 the day:

One square minesweeper:
https://onesquareminesweeper.com/

The odds

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, December 14, 2023, In : Humor

The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one.
-- Erma Bombeck

Website 4 the day:

Write upside down:
http://www.fliptext.org/

My job as a masseuse

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, December 14, 2023, In : Humor

I lost my job as a masseuse because I rub people the wrong way.

Website 4 the day:

Scale of the universe:
https://htwins.net/scale2/

If you even dream

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, December 14, 2023, In : Philosophy

If you even dream of beating me you'd better wake up and apologize.
-- Muhammad Ali

Website 4 the day:

Lego modeling:
https://www.mecabricks.com/en/

Our relatives and friends

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, December 14, 2023, In : Philosophy

God gave us our relatives; thank god we can choose our friends.
-- Ethel Mumford

Website 4 the day:

Nailing jelly to a wall:
https://greem.co.uk/otherbits/jelly.html

Everyone should be able

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, December 14, 2023, In : Humor

Everyone should be able to do one card trick, tell two jokes, and recite three poems, in case they are ever trapped in an elevator.
-- Lemony Snicket

Website 4 the day:

Jigsaw puzzles:
https://www.dailyjigsawpuzzles.net/

Asking advice

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, December 14, 2023, In : Humor

In all the thousands of times I have asked other people for advice, I never yet got the advice I wanted.
-- Wilkie Collins

Website 4 the day:

Watch grass grow:
https://www.watching-grass-grow.com/

Morality

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, December 14, 2023, In : Philosophy

Morality is simply the attitude we adopt towards people whom we personally dislike.
-- Oscar Wilde

Website 4 the day:

Waste time with a cat:
https://procatinator.com/

Innocence

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, December 14, 2023, In : Humor

I don’t want to repeat my innocence. I want the pleasure of losing it again.
-- F. Scott Fitzgerald

Website 4 the day:

Block websites and reclaim free time:
https://getcoldturkey.com/

Used to race motorcycles

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, December 13, 2023, In : Humor

I used to race motorcycles but gave it up. The motorcycles were faster.

Website 4 the day:

AI-powered resume:
https://resumegenius.com/

I come from Des Moines

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, December 13, 2023, In : Humor

I come from Des Moines. Somebody had to.
-- Bill Bryson

Website 4 the day:

What to read next:
https://www.whichbook.net/

Hours passed

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, December 13, 2023, In : Humor

Hours passed, like a kidney stone.
-- T. Kingfisher

Website 4 the day:

Play games:
https://www.miniclip.com/

How the dress looked

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, December 13, 2023, In : Humor

The dress looked like it had been sown in a rage and put on in a tempest.
-- Oscar Wilde

Website 4 the day:

Benchmark your skill:
https://humanbenchmark.com/

Build a man a fire

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, December 13, 2023, In : Humor

Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
-- Terry Pratchett

Website 4 the day:

Find a trial for a disease:
https://clinicaltrials.gov/

When it's time

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, December 13, 2023, In : Humor

When you look like your passport photo, it’s time to go home.
-- Erma Bombeck

Website 4 the day:

Dancing robots:
https://roboboogie.codeclub.org.uk/

Nobody's perfect

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, December 13, 2023, In : Humor

Nobody's perfect. Well, there was this one guy, but we killed him.
-- Christopher Moore

Website 4 the day:

Virtual piano:
https://virtualpiano.net/https://virtualpiano.net/

My wife is furious

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, December 13, 2023, In : Humor

My wife is furious at our neighbor who sunbathes naked in her backyard. Personally, I am on the fence.

Website 4 the day:

Online jigsaw puzzles:
https://www.jigsawplanet.com/

In the beginning ...

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, December 13, 2023, In : Humor

In the beginning, the universe was created. This made a lot of people angry and is widely considered a bad move.
-- Douglas Adams

Website 4 the day:

Connect with top-rated designers:
https://dribbble.com/

An inferiority complex

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, December 13, 2023, In : Humor

I have an inferiority complex, but it’s not a very good one.
-- Steven Wright

Website 4 the day:

Color palettes for design:
https://colorhunt.co/

Vegetarians

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, December 13, 2023, In : Humor

If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
-- Steven Wright

Website 4 the day:

Ambient music and police radio:
http://youarelistening.to/

It's wrong!

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, December 13, 2023, In : Humor

I think it's wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.
-- Steven Wright

Website 4 the day:

Tagpro game:
https://koalabeast.com/

If defrocked, then ...

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, December 13, 2023, In : Humor

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
-- Steven Wright

Website 4 the day:

Running dogs:
https://www.omfgdogs.com/#

Played a blank tape

Posted by Ira Chayut on Wednesday, December 13, 2023, In : Humor

Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.
-- Steven Wright

Website 4 the day:

Build a Lost In Space robot:
https://www.b9robotbuildersclub.com/

My salads are dry

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, December 7, 2023, In : Humor

My wife says my salads are on the "dry" side. It is something that needs addressing.

Website 4 the day:

Claude 2 AI API:
https://www.kdnuggets.com/getting-started-with-claude-2-api

It's a small world

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, December 7, 2023, In : Humor

It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it.
-- Steven Wright

Website 4 the day:

Search world data:
https://worlddata.ai/

70 MPH

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, December 7, 2023, In : Humor

I was going 70 miles an hour and got stopped by a cop who said, "Do you know the speed limit is 55 miles per hour?" "Yes, officer, but I wasn't going to be out that long.”
-- Steven Wright

Website 4 the day:

AI-generated images:
https://civitai.com/

Half of all car accidents

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, December 7, 2023, In : Humor

Someone told me half of all car accidents happen within a mile of your house. So I moved.
-- Steven Wright

Website 4 the day:

Monospace font:
https://monaspace.githubnext.com/

The Indy 500

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, December 7, 2023, In : Humor

I watched the Indy 500, and I was thinking that if they left earlier they wouldn't have to go so fast.
-- Steven Wright

Website 4 the day:

Find a random Amazon product or gift:
https://randomicle.com/

Drugs

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, December 7, 2023, In : Humor

Drugs may lead to nowhere, but at least it's the scenic route.
-- Steven Wright

Website 4 the day:

Download files:
https://www.downloadcrew.com/

The switch

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, December 7, 2023, In : Humor

When I first moved into my house, there was a switch on the wall that didn't control the lights or anything. I'd just flick it up and down every once in a while. Then about a month later, I got a letter from a woman in Germany, saying, 'Cut it out.'
-- Steven Wright

Website 4 the day:

Generative AI for beginners:
https://github.com/microsoft/generative-ai-for-beginners

Linux in space

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, December 7, 2023, In : Humor

Astronauts use Linux because you can't have Windows in space.

Website 4 the day:

Generative AI fundamentals:
https://www.databricks.com/resources/learn/training/generative-ai-fundamentals

Eagles may soar

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, December 7, 2023, In : Humor

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
-- Steven Wright

Website 4 the day:

Introduction to Generative AI:
https://www.cloudskillsboost.google/paths/118

In the grocery store

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, December 7, 2023, In : Humor

I was in the grocery store. I saw a sign that said "pet supplies.” So I did.
-- Steven Wright

Website 4 the day:

Generative AI with Large Language Models:
https://www.coursera.org/learn/generative-ai-with-llms

When I turned two

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, December 7, 2023, In : Humor

When I turned two I was really anxious, because I'd doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I'm six I'll be ninety.
-- Steven Wright

Website 4 the day:

Generative AI for everyone:
https://www.coursera.org/learn/generative-ai-for-everyone

Almost a girlfriend

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, December 7, 2023, In : Humor

I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
-- Steven Wright

Website 4 the day:

How to write Python code:
https://www.kdnuggets.com/how-to-write-efficient-python-code-a-tutorial-for-beginners

Boycott shampoo!

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, December 7, 2023, In : Humor

Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo!
-- Steven Wright

Website 4 the day:

AI video:
https://stability.ai/news/stable-video-diffusion-open-ai-video-model

Everything is coming your way

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, December 7, 2023, In : Humor

When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
-- Steven Wright

Website 4 the day:

Talk to Jesus:
https://textwith.me/jesus/

An arrow

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, December 7, 2023, In : Humor

An arrow with no arrowhead is pointless.

Website 4 the day:

ChatGPT can now see, speak, and listen:
https://openai.com/blog/chatgpt-can-now-see-hear-and-speak

Change is inevitable

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, December 7, 2023, In : Humor

Change is inevitable… except from vending machines.
-- Steven Wright

Website 4 the day:

Who killed JFK?
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/who-killed-jfk/id1714611578

The gene pool

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, December 7, 2023, In : Humor

The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
-- Steven Wright

Website 4 the day:

JFK facts:
https://jfkfacts.substack.com/

A bank

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, December 7, 2023, In : Humor

I saw a bank that said "24 Hour Banking,” but I don't have that much time.
-- Steven Wright

Website 4 the day:

3D for everyone:
https://lumalabs.ai/

How do you tell

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, December 7, 2023, In : Humor

How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
-- Steven Wright

Website 4 the day:

Ask anything:
https://www.perplexity.ai/

The lion and the lamb

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, December 7, 2023, In : Humor

There may come a time when the lion and the lamb will lie down together, but I am still betting on the lion.
-- Henry Wheeler Shaw

Website 4 the day:

Search research papers:
https://typeset.io/

Optimism

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, December 7, 2023, In : Humor

The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears that this is true.
-- James Branch Cabell

Website 4 the day:

Music from text:
https://waveformer.replicate.dev/

i before e

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, December 7, 2023, In : Humor

i before e except after c disproved by science.

Website 4 the day:

Controllable music generation:
https://huggingface.co/spaces/facebook/MusicGen

When in doubt

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, December 7, 2023, In : Philosophy

When in doubt, tell the truth.
-- Samuel Clemens

Website 4 the day:

AI-powered writing tool:
https://textfx.withgoogle.com/

The truth

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, December 7, 2023, In : Philosophy

The truth is the one thing that nobody will believe.
-- George Bernard Shaw

Website 4 the day:

AI-driven 2D to 3D converter:
https://convert.leiapix.com/

Mice

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, December 7, 2023, In : Philosophy

The mice voted to bell the cat.
-- Aesop

Website 4 the day:

Bring drawings to life:
https://sketch.metademolab.com/

Too proud

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, December 7, 2023, In : Philosophy

We are too proud to fight.
-- Woodrow Wilson

Website 4 the day:

Free video editor:
https://www.capcut.com/

Violence

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, December 7, 2023, In : Philosophy

Violence never settles anything.
-- Genghis Khan

Website 4 the day:

Run machine learning models:
v

Dear Lord

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, December 7, 2023, In : Humor

Dear Lord, give me chastity and self-restraint . . . but not yet, O Lord, not yet!
-- Saint Augustine

Website 4 the day:

Upscale low-resolution images:
https://www.upscayl.org/#cloud

The word incorrectly

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, December 7, 2023, In : Humor

The word incorrectly is spelled by every dictionary incorrectly.

Website 4 the day:

Text to image:
https://ideogram.ai/t/trending

Vegetarianism

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, December 7, 2023, In : Humor

It is useless for sheep to pass resolutions in favor of vegetarianism while wolves remain of a different opinion.
-- William Ralph Inge

Website 4 the day:

Words to images:
https://www.bing.com/create

An honest man

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, December 7, 2023, In : Philosophy

You can't cheat an honest man. He has to have larceny in his heart in the first place.
-- Claude William Dukenfield

Website 4 the day:

AI-based animation:
https://runwayml.com/

One of those people

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, December 7, 2023, In : Humor

He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
-- H. H. Munro

Website 4 the day:

Free hosting:
https://freehosting.com/

Why I work

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, December 7, 2023, In : Philosophy

I go on working for the same reason a hen goes on laying eggs.
-- H. L. Mencken

Website 4 the day:

Independent, non-partisan news:
https://www.readtangle.com/

Forgive one's enemies

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, December 7, 2023, In : Humor

One should forgive one's enemies, but not before they are hanged.
-- Heinrich Heine

Website 4 the day:

Cross-platform machine-learning model accelerator:
https://onnxruntime.ai/

Waking a tiger

Posted by Ira Chayut on Thursday, December 7, 2023, In : Philosophy

In waking a tiger, use a long stick.
-- Mao Tse-Tung

Website 4 the day:

The Windows Ubuntu Operating System:
https://www.wubuntu.org/

A bird didn't study

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, December 5, 2023, In : Humor

A bird didn't study for the test. He'll just wing it.

Website 4 the day:

Talk to your cat:
https://www.meowtalk.app/

Whatever you do

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, December 5, 2023, In : Philosophy

Whatever you do, you'll regret it.
-- Allan McLeod Gray

Website 4 the day:

Free GPT-4 (5 questions per 4 hours):
https://www.perplexity.ai/

The punishment of God

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, December 5, 2023, In : Philosophy

I am the punishment of God…If you had not committed great sins, God would not have sent a punishment like me upon you.
-- Genghis Khan

Website 4 the day:

Free machine learning courses:
https://sea.mashable.com/online-learning/28680/12-of-the-best-machine-learning-courses-you-can-take-online-for-free

No protection is enough

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, December 5, 2023, In : Philosophy

If anyone wants to do it, no amount of protection is enough. All a man needs is a willingness to trade his life for mine.
-- John F. Kennedy

Website 4 the day:

Portable execution:
https://justine.lol/ape.html

I met a man

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, December 5, 2023, In : Humor

Yesterday, upon the stair,
I met a man who wasn't there
He wasn't there again today
I wish, I wish he'd go away...
-- Hughes Mearns

Website 4 the day:

Make LinkedIn posts private:
https://www.ngcareerstrategy.com/how-to-make-your-linkedin-posts-private

This word

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, December 5, 2023, In : Philosophy

Yes I've heard this word. I think sociopaths use it in an attempt to discredit the notion of empathy.
-- John Cleese

Website 4 the day:

News from all sides:
https://www.allsides.com/unbiased-balanced-news

Half-full glass

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, December 5, 2023, In : Humor

Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that’s twice as big as it needs to be.
-- George Carlin

Website 4 the day:

The fastest browser:
https://thorium.rocks/

A camel with no humps

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, December 5, 2023, In : Humor

What do you call a camel with no humps? Humphrey!

Website 4 the day:

Free revolutionary war records:
https://www.familysearch.org/en/info/free-revolutionary-war-records

Arguing with a person

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, December 5, 2023, In : Philosophy

To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead.
-- Thomas Paine

Website 4 the day:

AI for local hosts:
https://github.com/zenml-io/zenml

Who are they?

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, December 5, 2023, In : Philosophy

When someone shows you who they are the first time, believe them.
-- Maya Angelou

Website 4 the day:

Summarize PDFs:
https://www.msn.com/en-us/money/markets/claude-ai-can-summarize-text-from-pdfs-for-free-heres-how-to-use-it/ar-AA1izquP

Golfing

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, December 5, 2023, In : Humor

Golf is a good walk spoiled.
-- Samuel Clemens

Website 4 the day:

Learn about your system:
https://github.com/dylanaraps/neofetch

Reality

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, December 5, 2023, In : Philosophy

Reality has a well-known liberal bias.
-- Stephen Colbert

Website 4 the day:

Generate images using Google:
https://www.makeuseof.com/how-to-generate-ai-images-in-google-search

Used to play sports

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, December 5, 2023, In : Humor

I used to play sports. Then I realized you can buy trophies. Now I’m good at everything.
-- Demetri Martin

Website 4 the day:

Find better deals than Amazon:
https://www.wecultivate.us/

A massage parlor

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, December 5, 2023, In : Humor

I went to a massage parlor. It was self-service.
-- Rodney Dangerfield

Website 4 the day:

Cybercrime help:
https://fightcybercrime.org/

Every machine

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, December 5, 2023, In : Humor

Every machine is a smoke machine if you operate it wrong enough.

Website 4 the day:

AI provides entertainment answers:
https://likewise.com/

Erotic vs. pornography

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, December 5, 2023, In : Humor

Erotic is using a feather; pornography is using the entire chicken.
-- Robin Williams

Website 4 the day:

Units of measurement:
https://phrontistery.info/unit.html

Authority

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, December 5, 2023, In : Philosophy

Nothing strengthens authority so much as silence.
-- Leonardo da Vinci

Website 4 the day:

Institute for the Study of War:
https://www.understandingwar.org/

Leadership

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, December 5, 2023, In : Philosophy

You do not lead by hitting people over the head -- that's assault, not leadership.
-- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Website 4 the day:

Reasonably secure OS:
https://www.qubes-os.org/

Politics is not a bad profession

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, December 5, 2023, In : Humor

Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book.
-- Ronald Reagan

Website 4 the day:

Speed-read scientific papers:
https://www.semanticscholar.org/product/semantic-reader

A fanatic

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, December 5, 2023, In : Humor

A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject.
-- Winston Churchill

Website 4 the day:

Free oracle cloud:
https://www.oracle.com/cloud/free/

A nice night

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, December 5, 2023, In : Humor

What a nice night for an evening.
-- Steven Wright

Website 4 the day:

How to install Linux:
https://learn.microsoft.com/en-us/linux/install

Ex-Lax inventor

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, December 5, 2023, In : Humor

The inventor of Ex-Lax started a movement.

Website 4 the day:

Mexican recipes:
https://www.rickbayless.com/recipe-category/tacos-and-tostadas/

Kitten trouble

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, December 5, 2023, In : Humor

The trouble with a kitten is that, eventually, it becomes a cat.
-- Ogden Nash

Website 4 the day:

Movie news:
https://www.inverse.com/

Detergents

Posted by Ira Chayut on Tuesday, December 5, 2023, In : Humor

Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains. A pretty violent image there. I think if you’ve got a T-shirt with blood stains all over it, maybe laundry isn’t your biggest problem. Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash.
-- Jerry Seinfeld

Website 4 the day: